interfaith brides

dbcrosby Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:46 PM

interfaith brides

did anyone sign a green paper that says that you will do all that is in your power to raise your children catholic? is that needed to make it legal in the catholic religeon? my FH signed it and now my mother is flipping out. i cant wait until the wedding is over so i can live my own life and not have to deal with the drama of interfaith weddings

littlecat Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:47 PM

Re: interfaith brides

I never had to sign anything like that. I've never heard of that.

dbcrosby Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:48 PM

Re: interfaith brides

who is officiating your ceremony. we are having a deacon and cantor officiate and we went for our 'precana' and Fh signed the paper

Spot12905 Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:50 PM

Re: interfaith brides

I never had to sign anything like that.

littlecat Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:50 PM

Re: interfaith brides

We had a reverend and a cantor. All we had to sign was the marriage license.

dbcrosby Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:51 PM

Re: interfaith brides

really, did you recieve a catholic marriage liscence

littlecat Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:52 PM

Re: interfaith brides

I guess not then if that is what it takes.

littlecat Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:54 PM

Re: interfaith brides

i sent you and Fm, just curious.

dbcrosby Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:54 PM

Re: interfaith brides

i was just wondering because we are in the middle of this huge fued of wether it was legal or not and why he would sign it if we are going ot raise our kids jewish. its really just my mom medaling and making my life a living a hell.

littlecat Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:56 PM

Re: interfaith brides

Can you have a catholic marriage license if you are marrying someone who is not catholic.

dbcrosby Posted: Mar 22, 2004 06:57 PM

Re: interfaith brides

yes and we are having a ketubah which will make it legal in the jewish religeon

jrl0223 Posted: Mar 23, 2004 08:54 AM

Re: interfaith brides

We're having a priest and a rabbi officiate at our wedding. My FH is Catholic and he had to sign one of the (many) forms that basically said he will promise to seriously consider raising our children Catholic. Nothing is 'legal' and the priest certainly isn't going to police us and our future children. It's just one of the (many) formalities that the Catholic church requires.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 23, 2004 08:55 AM

Re: interfaith brides

My FH signed it, why is your mother freaking out? All is says is that he is going to 'try' it is not legally binding.

dbcrosby Posted: Mar 23, 2004 09:09 AM

Re: interfaith brides

she is freaking out becasue it is really important to her that i raise my kids jewish- as it is important for me as well. but it is our decision. she is just worried that FH has lied to her about his intentions and that i am being naive to everything. since i met FH we have discussed raising our children jewish and for the past 3 years (since we have been engaged) hes has been telling my mother that he will raise our children jewish and then in her eyes he swore to g-d that he would 'do anything in his power' to raise his children catholic and she wants to know that he still has the intentions of raising his kids jewish and that he has told his parents that he plans on doing so. basically, i cant wait until we are married and we can lead our own lives with little say of family members. we have been doing so much to please our families in every way that we have been losing the fact that it is our lives and we need to do whatever it takes to make us happy.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 23, 2004 09:10 AM

Re: interfaith brides

How does she know he signed it?

dbcrosby Posted: Mar 23, 2004 09:30 AM

Re: interfaith brides

we all went to the deacon together so all the parents would know what was going to go on during the ceremony and because all of the parents had questions to ask him

bridzilla Posted: Mar 23, 2004 09:43 AM

Re: interfaith brides

I'm interfaith too, and my FH had to sign the same thing. The priest said that all he has to do is try. Nothing is legally binding, of course. When explaining everything to my mom, I just breezed over that part. The form is not a big deal, but I knew my mom would freak out over it.

PrincessRose Posted: Mar 23, 2004 10:57 AM

Re: interfaith brides

I have a bunch of friends who are Catholic who's fathers are not, and all of their mothers signed those papers.

laudipop Posted: Mar 23, 2004 11:40 AM

Re: interfaith brides

Marriage licenses come from NY state, so there's nothing religious about the actual license, right?

I've spoken to a lot of people who had a priest-and-rabbi wedding, and most people say that it depends on the priest whether or not they make you sign that paper. Some do, some don't. Personally I find it hypocritical since if you've already decided to raise your kids Jewish, or both, they're basically asking you to lie just so they can have the proper paperwork. I'm Catholic, FH is Jewish. And that paper is exactly why I decided to be married by a judge! I didn't want to ask FH to lie.

eogara Posted: Mar 23, 2004 11:42 AM

Re: interfaith brides

Unforunately yes, in order for it to be recognized by the Catholic Church, you must promise to raise your children Catholic (which is why we're not doing this). In addition to a bunch of other requirements, this is the major one. I had asked a priest at my college to perform the ceremony and, although he was unavailable for my day, he did send me information on what was necessary. Let me know if you want me to FM it to you.

ETA: No, you don't have to make this promise in order to be legally married, just to have your marriage recognized by the Church.