im catholic my FH is jewish neither one of us follow our faith strictly, we have decided that in the future we will raise our kids to know both religions, my mom is upset because she feels that i go to church more then fh goes to temple (he hasnt stepped foot in one since he was 13) that we should raise our kids catholic. I wont do that i dont want my children wondering why dad doesnt come with us, has religion been an issue for anyother couples?
elysemichelle
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
to be honest, no,FHs mom wanted certain things but FH and i made it clear how we wanted to raise our children and do our ceremony and what not.
michelle1024
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
me and fh are opposite you and fh, i am jewish and he is catholic...the only time it's an issue is when we talk about kids....we're not 100% sure, but most likely we both feel we should celebrate/have them learn about both. as far as the wedding, it hasn't been and issue, except that we haven't found a priest/rabbi yet. lol
but, the slight issue is fh's parents who kind of told me that you can't raise kids with both religions and went on this huge tangent that kind of upset me. im not sure if he was saying that because he thinks they should be catholic or jewish, but either way. i think it's important that you and fh stick to what makes you both feel comfortable...i have to ignore other ppls opinions
springsandra
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
I was raised Jewish but haven't been to temple since your FH went last. FH is Southern Baptist but doesn't believe in it at all and never goes to church electively (his parents like for us to come on Christmas, which we do).
FMIL has asked a few times how we'll raise the kids, and I told FH I'd like them to know about Jewish culture. He's ok with that. I think other than that, we'll take it as it comes. If people ask me now what we'll do, I tell them that we'll decide when the time is right. No point letting hypotheticals upset anyone before they're even an issue.
As far as the wedding goes, we're going with no religion rather than both, because it's what we're comfortable with. I know you have to please your parents sometimes, but this is your life and you should feel confident in whatever decisions you and your FH make.
epickus
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
I'm Jewish and my FH is Catholic, but we aren't very religious. We decided we want our ceremony to incorporate both our religions and raise our kids to be both,if they decide a specific religion that's fine too.
You should do what u and FH decide. It is ur life. Listen to what others have to say, but just be true to yourselves.
sept09bride
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
i'm catholic and my fh is jewish....we have discussed it many times, even before being engaged. its important for me that our kids be raised catholic, (not important to him about religion) and i will be the one involved in their religious education. We will teach them about the jewish religion, it is their heritage as well so they will understand both. I think religion is more of an issue usually for the rest of the family (i.e. PARENTS!) than the couple. I know that FMIL is not too happy, but you have to remember it is your family and you need to do whats right for the both of you.
pa56
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
My DH is atheist and believes most religions are crazy!
I am not super religious myself but will probably raise kids to be somewhat Hindu and then let them decide for themselves what they want.
ritas2008
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
My best friend is jewish and her FH is Catholic. He is such a great guy but it willing to forfeit his religion for hers. Not completely forfeit as in converting but he is willing to raise their kids completely Jewish and is indifferent to whether they know about their other religion. I'm not one to judge but if they are going into this marriage together then they should incorporate both religions. However, to each his own and if thats what he is comfortable with then thats how they will be happy.
CandB4604
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
I was raised very reformed Jewish (didn't have a bat mitvah or anything) and FH was raised VERY STRICT Christian.. it was a HUGE problem for us when we first started dating, but we really learned how to live with it - and he actually felt a sense of relief when he decided that the religion was more of his mom forcing him than him actually wanting to do it himself.
Therefore, we both decided, like you're doing, to raise our children 'both' and let them decide when they're old enough, what to believe in.
debzy
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
I think intermarriages can work. I just don't know how fair it is to leave it up to children to decide. I think the couple should be very clear on what they'll do with their family before having children.
I'm just not sure how to raise children 'both' religions. Being Jewish involves more than just learning different Bible stories. It's an entirely different culture with different practices, and it involves learning a whole different language, and it's a lot of work/time. In my experience, no child would ever choose to go to an extra 6 hours of school a week, get extra homework and give up their Sunday mornings.
MrsCtoB
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
I am Jewish and my FH is Catholic. We are both not that religious, but we both deem our heritage and keeping the traditions of our ancestors (aka Holidays) important.
That said, we have decided to teach our children about both religions through the celebration of all the holidays and the meanings and stories that go along with it! (The best part is that no one ever has to miss a holiday with their family!) This is what made sense and kept a nice balance for us as a couple. We are both adults leading our own lives and our families respect that.
As for our wedding ceremony, my FH's dad is a Deacon and will be performing the ceremony with a Rabbi. The ceremony is split up so the rabbi and deacon will take turns back and forth with the elements of the ceremony e.g. the rabbi will do the rings and the deacon will do the vows, etc.!!
ajlgmm815
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
thank you everyone for your responses we are doing a non-religious ceremony. we decided to base our ceremony on love and not involve our beliefs.
mmm117
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
In terms of religion, I think what's most important is that the couple is 'on the same page' - meaning they feel similarly about what kind of role religion should have in their and their children's lives. Whether you're of a different religion or the same one, it's gotta be tough if one person is deeply religious and the other is not. My FH and I have never had any issues being of different religions because neither of us is very dedicated to our religion - we're even having a judge marry us. My ex on the other hand, used to tell me that he wouldn't marry me unless I converted......
coldasice217
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
I don't know if this is your definition of 'interfaith', but I am Catholic and FH is Greek Orthodox, so while it's both Christian, it is different. FH is much more religious than I am, and attends church regularly. I don't go to church at all. We will be raising our children Greek Orthodox because we are mandated to, or else we are not allowed to get married in the church and FH will get excommunicated. So basically, I signed away the rights to my ovaries LOL. That isn't the issue, but the issue is that FH wants me to attend church with him and become pretty involved, which is definitely outside of my comfort zone, so we do clash on that.
LousBride09
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
Posted by MrsCtoB
I am Jewish and my FH is Catholic. We are both not that religious, but we both deem our heritage and keeping the traditions of our ancestors (aka Holidays) important.
That said, we have decided to teach our children about both religions through the celebration of all the holidays and the meanings and stories that go along with it! (The best part is that no one ever has to miss a holiday with their family!) This is what made sense and kept a nice balance for us as a couple. We are both adults leading our own lives and our families respect that.
As for our wedding ceremony, my FH's dad is a Deacon and will be performing the ceremony with a Rabbi. The ceremony is split up so the rabbi and deacon will take turns back and forth with the elements of the ceremony e.g. the rabbi will do the rings and the deacon will do the vows, etc.!!
I totally agree with you. I am Catholic and my FH is Jewish. We do the same things...basically celebrate both holidays with our family and we are both not that religious to begin with. We will also teach our children about both religions and celebrate all of the holidays. It is what has worked for us and I think will work well with our children. We are having both a Priest and Rabbi perform our ceremony.
dfw343
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
I am Jewish. FH is Catholic. He has two kids and they went to religion. The funny thing is, when I ask them questions to learn more about the religion they shrug and say 'we forgot'. lol
If we have kids, they will know both.
SoonT00beMrsC
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
hey gloria... i see you have some good responses and other girls that can relate .. glad i suggested it hehe
10102009Bride
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
Posted by coldasice217
I don't know if this is your definition of 'interfaith', but I am Catholic and FH is Greek Orthodox, so while it's both Christian, it is different. FH is much more religious than I am, and attends church regularly. I don't go to church at all. We will be raising our children Greek Orthodox because we are mandated to, or else we are not allowed to get married in the church and FH will get excommunicated. So basically, I signed away the rights to my ovaries LOL. That isn't the issue, but the issue is that FH wants me to attend church with him and become pretty involved, which is definitely outside of my comfort zone, so we do clash on that.
We are the opposite. I'm orthodox... However, I dotn go to church. I knew we would never be allowed to be married in orthodox church. I gave that idea up. We end up celebrating holidays on catholic dates w/ his family and no celebrations on orthodox dates. I'm upset about it, but there is nothing I can do.
We are getting married in Methodist church.
MikesBride2B
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
FH is Christian and I am Jewish. We will be having an interfaith ceremony since both of us are religious. As for children I told FH before we even started dating that I want to have Jewish children and a Jewish home and if he wasn't okay with it then we should not take it any further. Although he is religious he wants to be more connected to the Old Testament and Jewish practices so he agreed and has not voiced a concern since.
We'll def encounter some issues because FMIL is a Presbyterian Pastor...also FH has a daughter who we'll raise as both so I guess it'll be a little strange, but we'll figure it out as we go along.
lanamanitta
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Re: Interfaith couples is religion an issue?
I'm Roman Catholic, he's Greek Orthodox. He's fine with raising the kids Catholic, but his bishop called me a heretic (well -- to be 'fair' -- he called 'The Latins, the Roman Catholics' heretics, in a church of about 30 people, looking directly at me, the only non-Orthodox person in the room), and his Mom told my Mom that 'they'd get me yet.' To which my Mom said, 'She was raised better than that.'
Then, on Easter, the priest did the blessing after the renewal of the baptismal vows, and I could see the FH looking concerned. He said after Mass that he was worried he'd been somehow baptized catholic. LOL. It's not that easy, hubby!
So . . . . not an issue for us, but apparently, it's an issue.
