Interfaith (Jewish) question

Do interfaith families celebrate Jewish holidays together? with BOTH families ?
I'm Catholic and so is my family. DH is Jewish - we thought we had it all figured out, his family for Jewish holidays, mine for Christian - Now MIL wants to invite some (not all) of my immediate family to her Seder? I thinks its unnecessary and very weird - I mean I don't celebrate holidays with my BIL family.
Is this normal in an interfaith marraige and should I just Keep my mouth shut and let it be ?

Hey Helen!!!

First I would love to go to a sedar I have been to one in years and miss it.

From my understanding from my Grandparents. A sedar though very religious is also about having family and friends around you. I know that they used to invite a ton of friends and in-laws over- jewish or not

IMO it would depend how religiously the sedar is done, where or not someone who is not Jewish would want to be there, unless of course they are curious. To me from what I remember they are beautiful in their meaning and their tradition but they are long and done a lot in Hebrew, though that could be translated.

So as I go off on another topic, do I think it is weird, that is how my family did it. You have to do what is comfortable with you. If your family would feel uncomfortable sitting there, I would respectfully decline but tell them you would love to get together for dinner sometime.

I don't know if I helped at all it is early and I should be getting ready for work

I am a recent convert to judaism, my family is catholic. This year my FILs want to invite my family over for Passover. I think it is a very nice gesture on their part, to include myfamily. I also look at it as an opportunity for my family to learn about my new religion. I know my situation is different from yours, but perhaps your ILs just want to have a dinner with your family and get to know them? I agree that sometimes the sedar done inHebrew can be difficult to follow, but perhaps they are planning on modifying it so that everyone can participate. Maybe you should ask them about it? Sorry I don't have any answers for ya, but I hope this helps.

I think the root of my problem is that I don't particurarily enjoy the seder, my IL's irritate me some of the time.

Even my DH skips out on one of two seders - he doesn't observe Yom Kippur

I am sure her intientions are good, but I just don't understand WHY ?

And why invite half my family and not the other half?

I would think it was nice of them to invite your family, it shows respect and considerations, that they want to share their time with your loved ones. It's kinda nice, no?

I think its a very nice gesture.

I am Jewish, and DH is Catholic. If our families lived closer I'm sure my family would be invited for Easter and Christmas, and I know his family would be invited for Passover, Rosh Hashana, and Yom Kippur.

My parents often invite others to our seder, most of the time they are not Jewish. My dad loves to explain everything, and I have to agree with Misha, it's anything but a normal religious seder!! LOL!

It sounds like some of you have a different Seder to the one I attend

My IL made their own book (sorry I don't remember the name of it) and they follow ceremony, right down to the extra piece at the end

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Posted by dubliner

I think the root of my problem is that I don't particurarily enjoy the seder, my IL's irritate me some of the time.

Even my DH skips out on one of two seders - he doesn't observe Yom Kippur

I am sure her intientions are good, but I just don't understand WHY ?

And why invite half my family and not the other half?

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Ahhh, therein lies the crux of the problem!

Boring seders are an epidemic in this world....

My grandpa used to dress up as Moses to tell the story. And the words 'When do we eat?' get sprinkled throughout.

I don't know why she invited the half she invited, but maybe it's because the house is too small to invite EVERYONE?

As for the why? I would imagine that it's got something to do with the tradition of inviting as many guests as manageable to the seder. There's a portion in Aramaic in the Hagaddah (Passover Seder Book) that talks about inviting outsiders and the needy to sit at the table for the seder.

I wouldn't take it personally, or get upset about it. Your MIL is probably just making an effort.

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Posted by PrincessRose

Ahhh, therein lies the crux of the problem!

Boring seders are an epidemic in this world....

My grandpa used to dress up as Moses to tell the story. And the words 'When do we eat?' get sprinkled throughout.

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I think you hit the nail on the head

They're easier to deal with with a bit of humor sprinkled in. Even FH's family, which is conservative and stays with the rules a bit closer than mine does, has a few jokes added in.

Talk to your FH - maybe he can inject some humor into this year's seder.

But keep in mind that the very word Seder means 'order'. There's a reason that everything happens in order - it's not just a meal, it's a religious service. Some things can be skipped/omitted, and others can't. It's important to remember that with respect to your ILs.

I suggest taking in a Purim Spiel this weekend, if you can. They're lots of fun, and always good for a few laughs.

OK - thanks everyone - probelm solved, I spoke to the family member is quesiton, and she would prefer not to attend, so I just need to explain that -