FH and I are considering the possibility of two wedding ceremonies on the day of our wedding - first one in a Catholic Church in the afternoon, second one with a Rabbi at the hall.
We realize that this will be more $$$ than just one ceremony, but we really like this idea. Does anyone have any experience with this? If so, please post! Thanks very much.
marymoon
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
I wanted to do this also, but Fh was eally concerned about it. He felt that it would split up our families when the whole point is joining them. He didn't feel that his family would show up at the church, when what we really need/want is for everyone to be ther for every moment of our special day. Also the 2nd ceremony would be anticlimactic, cause we'd be technically already amrried (though i guess you can work around this), and how would you do the processional? Woudl you come in together, since you were laready amrried at the chruch? it's really confusing Definitely keep me posted on what you decide. It's so confusing, isn't it?
mrsgtobe
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
marymoon, I was thinking of FMing you since we are in similar situations.
We're looking into this option because I really want to get married in a church, but if that is the only ceremony we have, FH's family will revolt. We plan to invite everyone to both, and if they choose not to come to both then that's their problem.
I didn't think about how the processional would go for the second ceremony...hmm...I guess I will have to look into that!
Have you and your FH arrived at a decision about your ceremony?
(BTW, we're hall twins!)
mrsgtobe
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
BUMP
(Sorry, but I'm really hoping for more feedback! Thanks!)
wendyz06
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This might sound rude. But are you expecting your guest to come to both?
Personally I really dread cermonies and miss them when I can. I wish I could skip mine (j/k).
Anyway people like me will just show the one at the hall bc the day might get too long with two cermonies. You might not have mean friends like me but just incase...
I dont know if this is possible but can you have it in a church and have a rabbi and a priest or is that not even an option.
I understand you want to be married in a church I feel the same way
mrsgtobe
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
wendyz06, thanks for the feedback. I personally enjoy ceremonies, so I'm glad you reminded me of the other side of the coin on that issue!
We are having two ceremonies to fulfill our own personal wishes, and we realize that it will be a long day and some people will choose not to be a part of the whole entire day with us. And that's okay by us!
Having both a priest and a rabbi at the church is probably not an option. I have a feeling that FH is okay with doing the church thing only because we'll do a full Jewish ceremony at the hall. I don't think he'd be receptive to only having one ceremony at the church. In that case, he'd want to do the whole thing at the hall...which is what I'm trying to avoid!
17sugars
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
I'm kind of in the same boat myself. But I realized from the beginning that I would most likely not be getting married in church. We are going to have a priest and a rabbi marry us at the hall.
I totally understand how you feel about wanting to get married in church though. It's one of those things that was difficult for me. If it is really important to you though, stick to your guns.
If you want to have two ceremonies, it might actually make more sense to be married by the rabbi first. Then you can have your traditional church wedding because technically, you still won't be married in the church's eyes. I know it's not a perfect solution.... Good luck. Feel free to FM me if you want to.
bingbabe04
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
I am in the same situation, having a church ceremony and then a jewish ceremony at the halI. It is so comforting to see that there are other people in the same situation as I am. I am currently trying to word my invitation to include both ceremonies. Any ideas would be great!!
laural2979
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FH was in a wedding recently where they had two ceremonies. The first one was a jewish ceremony that took place during the rehersal dinner. The second one was the big church wedding that happened the next day. It seemed to keep everyone happy and the entire guest list wasn't expected to go to both.
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
We are interfaith and are having our ceremony at the hall. We are having an interfaith reverend marry us. She will incorporate traditions of both our religions, but overall the ceremony will be spiritual, but not religious. I think having two separate ceremonies is very taxing on everyone; you and FH, your families, your guests. Also then which ceremony will be the 'real' one? I I think thats really confusing.
JanuaryBride06
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
In the end, you have to do what will make the both of you happy. I know had DH and I done it this way, my family would have gone to the church and his family would have gone to the Jewish ceremony, defeating the purpose of joining two families.
I hope that if you do the two ceremonies that everyone attends both but keep in mind that it may not pan out that way.
Again, please do what will make you and FH happiest. Good luck.
marymoon
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OOLLLD Post.
What did you decide, jamie?
TheFutureMrsM
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catholic girls and jewish boys...seems to be very popular on this board...i too am in this boat and havnt full decided yet what we will do...one thing i thought unless they changed it is that you must be catholic and must of made your sacraments to get married in a catholic church. For those of you having a church ceremony did the priest say its a problem for you dh to get married in the church?? thanks for the info!!!
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
Posted by marymoon
OOLLLD Post.
What did you decide, jamie?
OMG I didn't even notice this! I am usally on top of that stuff. I am slacking today!
m&m
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
I'm Catholic and DH is Greek Orthodox. We had two ceremonies - one the day of the reception, and the other a few weeks later. (We got married in Advent, and the GO church won't marry anyone then, we weren't trying to be insulting). We were worried about families only showing up to 'their' wedding though, had we been able to have it on the same day.
As far as walking down the aisle for the second ceremony, we didn't - we started it with both of us standing on the altar, and ended the same way - they did not pronounce us husband and wife at the second ceremony.
I know it's a different circumstance, but it did end up working for us - if you have questions, please FM.
eogara
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
We had an interfaith wedding but at the reception hall with an interfaith minister. It was sad to relinquish my longstanding vision of the church wedding but doing soemthing that was right for both of us was more important to me.
That said, does your (Jewish) FH, and do you for that matter, understand that in order to get married in a Catholic church, you have to agree to raise your children Catholic? I don't know if you have discussed children and religion already but no Catholic priest will marry you in a Church without BOTH of you promising to do all in your power to see that your children are raised Catholic.
Just an FYI...
jencee73
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
Posted by eogara
We had an interfaith wedding but at the reception hall with an interfaith minister. It was sad to relinquish my longstanding vision of the church wedding but doing soemthing that was right for both of us was more important to me.
That said, does your (Jewish) FH, and do you for that matter, understand that in order to get married in a Catholic church, you have to agree to raise your children Catholic? I don't know if you have discussed children and religion already but no Catholic priest will marry you in a Church without BOTH of you promising to do all in your power to see that your children are raised Catholic.
Just an FYI...
This is exactly why I didn't want to get married in a church. My FH and I are not religious, but we are getting married at the hall by a priest & rabbi. FH and I already decided that when we have children, when they get older they can decide on their own what religion if any they would want to follow. They will be exposed to both religions, but to us one religion isn't better than the other. JMO.
KandE917
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
Posted by eogara
no Catholic priest will marry you in a Church without BOTH of you promising to do all in your power to see that your children are raised Catholic.
Just an FYI...
We are interfaith - marrying at our hall by my priest from growing up and still are on the hunt for a rabbi who will co-officiate. They are a fortune! Anyway - my priest is so cool - we just went to fill out the dispensation paperwork last weekend - for me to get married physically outside the church but still be recognized by the Catholic church. He told us that exactly....'you promise to do ALL IN YOUR POWER to see that your children are raised Catholic' - he told me all that means is you will try your best! He laughed and said I will not go to hell if I don't - it just literally means I'll try! I had to sign something to agree to that - FH had to sign nothing. He told us even if we were physically getting married in the church FH wouldn't have had to sign something saying that...only the Catholic person does! JUST wanted to clarify!
marymoon
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
According to the deacon, 'everything in your power' could just mean discussing it with your husband and if you decide it's not right for you, it's not right. The church understands the challenges that interfaith couples face
And ONLY the catholic has to sign it. It specifically asks for the signature of the catholic partner. I signed it, obviously FH did not..
mrsgtobe
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Re: Interfaith wedding - two ceremonies?
Posted by marymoon
OOLLLD Post.
What did you decide, jamie?
I just came back to the boards last week after an absence of quite a few months. I had no idea this post had been resurrected!!
We ultimately decided to have one ceremony with both a priest and a rabbi (Msgr. Lisante from St. Thomas the Apostle and Rabbi Applestone). The ceremony will take place at our hall. FH and I decided that a joint ceremony at a 'neutral' location is the best choice. We will be getting a dispensation so that the Catholic Church will recognize our marriage.
Now I'm just praying for nice weather so that we can have the ceremony outside!
