Invitation etiquette

okay, i'm kinda confused. My invitations say Mr. and Mrs. Frank R. so and so, request the honor of your presence at the marriage of the daughter...
So since they are the ones inviting people, the inner envelope should be how they address the people. For instance I wouldn't put Aunt so and so on the inner envelope, just her first name? Am i making any sense?

You may want ot use women's first names too. Some will say it is less formal. I say it is less offensive and more suitable for women today. If someone assumed I dropped my first name - I'd be really offended. Sorry - I know that doesn't answer your question but wanted you to keep this in mind. Friends of mine who followed 'proper' etiquette (meaning old etiquette) got some angry calls from women who do not want to be called Mrs. John. They had never thought of it. some older women like using their husbands first name but most younger women will request they be called by their given first names.

For the inner envelope - you can write Aunt Alice if you want. I think you will be told just to write her first name but I think this is a case where people only notice if they are offended. Otherwise - they don't notice what you write

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Posted by samsbride

You may want ot use women's first names too. Some will say it is less formal. I say it is less offensive and more suitable for women today. If someone assumed I dropped my first name - I'd be really offended. Sorry - I know that doesn't answer your question but wanted you to keep this in mind. Friends of mine who followed 'proper' etiquette (meaning old etiquette) got some angry calls from women who do not want to be called Mrs. John. They had never thought of it. some older women like using their husbands first name but most younger women will request they be called by their given first names.

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yeah, my mom insists on having her name on the invitation. she says, 'i already lost my last, i am NOT giving up my first'

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For the inner envelope - you can write Aunt Alice if you want. I think you will be told just to write her first name but I think this is a case where people only notice if they are offended. Otherwise - they don't notice what you write

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i have no idea what i plan to go for the inner envelopes, but i'm sure whatever it will be, it will be less formal...

I think it really depends on the formality you want the invite to convey. More formal would have the inner envelop Mr. & Mrs. John so and so. Mid formal would have Mr. John and Mrs. Mary so & so. Least formal would have Mary so & so or Aunt Mary or just plain Mary.
Your invite is the first impression your guests have of your wedding. If you are planning a very formal affair or less formal/casual affair this is a good way to let your guests know.

the outside can be Mr & Mrs Smith

the inside can be Mary & Joe Smith
or Aunt Mary & Uncle Joe

ok, i got that, but my question is, since it's my parents inviting them, even though it would be my aunt, it's not theirs. So on the inner envelope it wouldn't say 'Aunt Sharon' because it's not their aunt. So would it just be Sharon on the inner?

ETA: is it cheasy to just use labels to address them? I'm trying to cut corners with $$$

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Posted by mosh913

ok, i got that, but my question is, since it's my parents inviting them, even though it would be my aunt, it's not theirs. So on the inner envelope it wouldn't say 'Aunt Sharon' because it's not their aunt. So would it just be Sharon on the inner?

ETA: is it cheasy to just use labels to address them? I'm trying to cut corners with $$$

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For my outer I put Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.
For my inner I put Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

I used labels, I think it is fine. Also, I think you can put Aunt Mary if you want, even though your parents are on the front, you are still really the one inviting them. JMO