Invitation wording

I'm drawing a blank and can't figure out how to phrase what I want to say. We are having our ceremony on a boat, they will begin boarding the boat at 10:30am and the ceremony will begin as soon as everyone is on board - there isn't alot of wiggle room - the ceremony has to be finished by 11am and everyone is moved from the deck to the reception area and then the boat leaves for the cruise.

This is what I have:
Mr. and Mrs. John W. .................
together with
Ms. Linda A. ...............
and
Mr. Robert ......................

request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jeannine Denise
to
Patrick Jason ......................
Saturday, the 13th of October
boarding promptly at 10:30 o'clock in the morning Ceremony immediately to follow
Aboard the Lac du Saint Sacrement
Lake George, New York
Reception to follow


It sounds funny to me, but that may be because I have read it too many times. Should I mention the cruise on the invite
'Reception and scenic cruise to follow'
or
'Recption lunch and scenic cruise to follow' ? What do you guys think?

Sorry this is so long!!! I think I am just confusing myself

I like' Reception and scenic cruise to follow'
Also I think it should be' half past ten o'clock in the morning 'instead of 10:30 o'clock in the morning'

I like 'Reception and scenic cruise to follow'

if the ceremony has to be DONE by 11 a.m.--i would put an earlier time than 10:30 am for ppl to meet. i would put 10:00am or 10:15 for ppl to meet the boat. you won't be giving yourself enough time for ppl to get on the boat, get organized start the ceremony, end the ceremony---all by 11am.

---

Posted by Nina_m74

I'm drawing a blank and can't figure out how to phrase what I want to say. We are having our ceremony on a boat, they will begin boarding the boat at 10:30am and the ceremony will begin as soon as everyone is on board - there isn't alot of wiggle room - the ceremony has to be finished by 11am and everyone is moved from the deck to the reception area and then the boat leaves for the cruise.

This is what I have:
Mr. and Mrs. John W. .................
together with
Ms. Linda A. ...............
and
Mr. Robert ......................

request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jeannine Denise
to
Patrick Jason ......................
Saturday, the 13th of October
boarding promptly at 10:30 o'clock in the morning Ceremony immediately to follow
Aboard the Lac du Saint Sacrement
Lake George, New York
Reception to follow


It sounds funny to me, but that may be because I have read it too many times. Should I mention the cruise on the invite
'Reception and scenic cruise to follow'
or
'Recption lunch and scenic cruise to follow' ? What do you guys think?

Sorry this is so long!!! I think I am just confusing myself

---

First things first - whose names are at the top of the invite? I assume part of that is your parents... is the other set your FH's parents? If so, the wording 'marriage of their daughter...' is not technically correct. Here's how I would change it

Mr. and Mrs. John W. .................
together with
Ms. Linda A. ...............
and
Mr. Robert ......................

request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Jeannine Denise
and
Patrick Jason ......................
Saturday, the thirteenth of October
Boarding at a quarter past ten o'clock in the morning (*note, give them 15 minutes for straglers)
Ceremony and Reception immediately to follow
Aboard the Lac du Saint Sacrement
Lake George, New York

HTH!

Thanks guys :)

I think the time is a bit tight too, the boat people said they would board at 10:30 and start the ceremony immediately, I think pushing it up 15 minutes would be better too. One way or another I think we are going to need a little more time, so either we start a little earlier or the boat leaves the dock a few minutes late.

I like the 'quarter past ten' too - the time was the part that sounded the strangest to me - thatnks for the suggestion!

---

Posted by MrsQ-in2007



First things first - whose names are at the top of the invite? I assume part of that is your parents... is the other set your FH's parents? If so, the wording 'marriage of their daughter...' is not technically correct. Here's how I would change it

Mr. and Mrs. John W. .................
together with
Ms. Linda A. ...............
and
Mr. Robert ......................

request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Jeannine Denise
and
Patrick Jason ......................
Saturday, the thirteenth of October
Boarding at a quarter past ten o'clock in the morning (*note, give them 15 minutes for straglers)
Ceremony and Reception immediately to follow
Aboard the Lac du Saint Sacrement
Lake George, New York

HTH!

---

Good catch thanks! We were debating between doing it with both parents at the top or the son of.... after FH's name I cut and pasted and forgot to make the changes. Thanks!

---

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

---

Posted by Nina_m74

I'm drawing a blank and can't figure out how to phrase what I want to say. We are having our ceremony on a boat, they will begin boarding the boat at 10:30am and the ceremony will begin as soon as everyone is on board - there isn't alot of wiggle room - the ceremony has to be finished by 11am and everyone is moved from the deck to the reception area and then the boat leaves for the cruise.

This is what I have:
Mr. and Mrs. John W. .................
together with
Ms. Linda A. ...............
and
Mr. Robert ......................

request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jeannine Denise
to
Patrick Jason ......................
Saturday, the 13th of October
boarding promptly at 10:30 o'clock in the morning Ceremony immediately to follow
Aboard the Lac du Saint Sacrement
Lake George, New York
Reception to follow


It sounds funny to me, but that may be because I have read it too many times. Should I mention the cruise on the invite
'Reception and scenic cruise to follow'
or
'Recption lunch and scenic cruise to follow' ? What do you guys think?

Sorry this is so long!!! I think I am just confusing myself

---

First things first - whose names are at the top of the invite? I assume part of that is your parents... is the other set your FH's parents? If so, the wording 'marriage of their daughter...' is not technically correct. Here's how I would change it

Mr. and Mrs. John W. .................
together with
Ms. Linda A. ...............
and
Mr. Robert ......................

request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Jeannine Denise
and
Patrick Jason ......................
Saturday, the thirteenth of October
Boarding at a quarter past ten o'clock in the morning (*note, give them 15 minutes for straglers)
Ceremony and Reception immediately to follow
Aboard the Lac du Saint Sacrement
Lake George, New York

HTH!

---

I love this one!!! Perfectly written!!!