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Invitations - A Little Offended
Tina Posted: Jul 01, 2001 08:11 AM+
Tina MEMBER SINCE: 2/01 TOTAL POSTS : 165 WEDDING DATE: Nov 03, 2001
Posted: Jul 01, 2001 08:11 AM bride-minus.png

Invitations - A Little Offended

Okay, tell me if I am wrong here. I am getting ready to address my invitations and I don't want to make this mistake. My FI and I were recently invited to our friend's wedding. We both went to college with him and were very good friends. Although we graduated in 1997, he and my FI have hung out various times in the past 4 years. I don't get easily offended and am not a stickler for etiquette, but, when I received the invitation it was addressed to 'Mike and Fiance'. Now isn't that a little weird considering he knows that we are engaged and that we are still together? Since we were friends too, wouldn't he have put MY name on the invite? He couldn't have possibly forgotten my name since we last spoke 2 months ago! If they were afraid of us breaking up, he could have just written 'Mike and Guest'. I was a little offended considering that we were friends for all of college. What did you guys do in this type of invite situation?
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leyann Posted: Jul 01, 2001 09:50 AM+
leyann MEMBER SINCE: 4/01 TOTAL POSTS : 275 WEDDING DATE: Sep 02, 2001
Posted: Jul 01, 2001 09:50 AM bride-minus.png

Invitations - A Little Offended

I would be upset too...The way I would take that is they know your engaged (fiance) but they forgot your name. I think that is kind of rude because all they had to do was call Mike and ask him casually in an off way. I would have Mike ask them in a nice way but find out why they did that. Since you went to school together and all, they should remember it but they might not know the 'proper' way to address envelopes. If it wasnt for this board and all the links, I might not have either (aside from common sense). For example: if 2 people arent married you show them on the invite one below the other in alphabetical order by last name. I never knew that. So maybe its just a bit of ignorance. I would not have done 'and fiance' I would have put the guests name. We had to ask a few relatives for the 'other persons' name if we werent that close to them. I am trying to personalize them as much as possible. I would tell Mike to talk to him. Good luck!!
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Karen H Posted: Jul 02, 2001 09:22 AM+
Karen H MEMBER SINCE: 2/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1890 WEDDING DATE: Apr 28, 2001
Posted: Jul 02, 2001 09:22 AM bride-minus.png

Invitations - probably her, not him

When we put our list together we started with a general list and it did have things like 'Joe and his fiance.' I had to hound my husband to get Joe's fiance's name so I could address the invitation properly. Sounds like this bride was just too lazy to bother finding out your name. It may be that she never asked the friend what your name was.
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tsl0925 Posted: Jul 02, 2001 09:40 AM+
tsl0925 MEMBER SINCE: 5/01 TOTAL POSTS : 53 WEDDING DATE: Apr 27, 2002
Posted: Jul 02, 2001 09:40 AM bride-minus.png

Invitations - probably her, not him

I am a bridesmaids in my friends wedding and she has hung out with my fiance at least 20 times (and I live with him). On my invitation for her wedding she also put my name and fiance on the invitation. For my friends that were also bridesmaids and had been dating their boyfriends for years but were not engaged yet, they got their names and escort. We just tried to chalk it up to her not knowing what is proper and me and my friends laugh about it. I would try not to take it personally.
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terri Posted: Jul 02, 2001 12:05 PM+
terri MEMBER SINCE: 2/01 TOTAL POSTS : 164 WEDDING DATE: Sep 21, 2001
Posted: Jul 02, 2001 12:05 PM bride-minus.png

Invitations - A Little Offended

She probably had no help from him doiing the invitations and your name probably slipped her mind!!! Or she was waiting for him to give her your name and never replaced it in her list and that was just a mistake!!! Trust me...I just finished my invitations and saturday and I could have strangled him through the ordeal!!! Talk about no help!!!!
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Kel Posted: Jul 02, 2001 01:22 PM+
Kel MEMBER SINCE: 2/01 TOTAL POSTS : 3134 WEDDING DATE: Sep 30, 2001
Posted: Jul 02, 2001 01:22 PM bride-minus.png

Let it go

Like Terri, I also just finished our invitations, and I was going nuts with my fiance trying to get proper names and even addresses from him for several people on his side. There were some invitations that I know did not go out exactly 'proper,' but I did the best I could while trying to make my deadline of beating the postage rate increase. The major 'wrong' I had was for a guy who just recently moved in with the girl he`s been dating for a couple of years. None of the guys had the new address or phone number to get in contact with him, and no one knew the girl`s last name. However, they all get together somewhat frequently, and he did just move out. So, the invitation went with his name on the outside to the old address (where some of the other guys still live), and on the inner envelope, it`s addressed to both using just their first names. The guys assured us they will hold the invitation at the house for him for the next time he stops by. The invitation may not have been addressed properly using the 'and fiance' but I`d just shrug it off and let it go.
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KGB Posted: Jul 09, 2001 11:26 AM+
KGB MEMBER SINCE: 7/01 TOTAL POSTS : 232 WEDDING DATE: Sep 17, 2000
Posted: Jul 09, 2001 11:26 AM bride-minus.png

Let it go

I have to agree that you should let it go. By having people ask him, you're making it an issue. Is this really something you want to spend you time on? Just be the bigger person, and put her name when you do your invites [if you haven't done them yet :-)]
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