Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
Gretchen
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Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
Just wondering if everyone does an A and B list for the invitations? My problem is this....my reception only holds 180 people, but more like 150 comfortably.....we have over 220 people to invite, FMIL keeps adding on neighbors, friends from church etc.....I told FH that we should go through the list and send out the essentials (close friends and family) first and then when we start getting declines, then send out the non-essentitals and he agreed. Well, when we told his mom, she said that it was rude to do this. She is not getting the point that we simply don't have enough room and we don't know how many people will reply with a no. Until we start getting some no's in, we will have to wait to invite the non-essential people. What do you guys think about this, am I being rude? I thought that most people have an A and B list. I asked my invitation lady and she said that most people that she deals with do this. Help.....am I being rude?
tracyg
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
no, we have an a & b list, but since our a and b list combined are around 200 (our min is 150), we may just invite everyone on our lists!! but i know many people do that! Like i told FH, why should someone that he hasn't seen since his Bar Mitzvah HAVE to be invited?? so they go on the B list
reallybehind!
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
we thought about it but it turned out we only had 180 people to invite and with an average of 20% decline rate we'll up with around 140 which is slightly more than we were shooting for.
sanmik
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
No I just sent them all out - - we wanted to stick to no one then 200 invited however we mailed out 267 - - who comes will come and that's it.
kelly6273
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
You sound like me a month ago. I invited 260. My room holds 240 but comfortably, 220. We were so nervous about this because we sent our invites out thinking no one was going to say no. Boy were we wrong!!!
We Invited 260 Our response date was yesterday and so far we have 171 YES and 50 NO's. We have still not heard from 39 people. Now we are hoping that we make the minumum. You just never know how this it going to go. I cut people from my list that I really didn't want to and now I wish I didn't.
Good luck!!!
mlp924
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
No we only have one list because I have such a small family and he has a huge family. It all works out in the end.
Stavia
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
You are not being rude at all! I am basically doing something similar, all of our family & close friends invites will go out & a few weeks later I will mail out all of my work invites because I could very easily add to that part of the list(or take away if necessary). I don't think I am going to have an issue but I don't want to miss my minimum either!
goldilocks
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
My reception hall will hold everyone if they show, but in your case, if FMIL thinks it's rude to have a B list, isn't it even more rude to not have enough seats for everyone! Maybe you could send out the essential invite list a little early so the B list won't know they are the B list (and FMIL doesn't have to know either...)!
maysie18
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
We have 2 lists, but the 'B' list isn't very big - considering just sending them all out & taking our chances.
eternityawaits
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
we have a b-list, but its only about 20 people, just in case we get a lot of 'nos' right away and need to make minimum
drjenn10
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
We only had one list
lulu
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
We have an A and B list. We are also restricted by the size of the room. Most of our guests are on the A list, but we have about 10 couples we'd like to invite if there is extra room. As the No's come back, I'll send out the extras. We probably could have done one list, but I'm too afraid we'll get more yes's than we have seats for.
Also, I ordered a few of my RSVP cards with a 2 week later date so they B list won't get the invite and have to respond the next day.
karen32
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
we were thinking of doing a B-list, but i don't think we need one. when we got the invite list from both sets of parents, we were surprised with how small the list is, so we should be fine.
michele31
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
I think A and B lists are rude in all honestly. If you want someone to attend your wedding then you need to decide if you can invite them or not. They should not be added because a bunch of other people cannot attend. You should go thru the lists and cut down. Tell your FMIL that the hall ONLY holds a certain number of people and she cannot invite every person that she has ever met before. People you care about should be on the list BEFORE her guests. Give her a certain number of non-family guests that she can invite and stick to that number. Guests very often know when when they get an invite with only a week or 2 to RSVP that they are on a B-list. I don't think to make people feel second best. I would just be honest and say Our reception hall only allows us to invite our families to the wedding.
Jen_n_Dale
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
We are having an a/b list.
itsbouttime
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
No A & B list here!!! My cousin did this years ago and someone in the family (on the B list ) found out. it was horrible, caused too much drama. I'm not doing that. If they are that important to us to be on THE list to begin with, then they are important enough to be invited the first time. IMO
Scoop
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
we had only one list but it does make sense to have an 'a' and 'b' list as long as there is not a huge time lapse between the two mailings.
eroxgirl
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
I have a B list b/c I have too many people on my list (more than the room holds ).
jar823
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
I am most definately having and A & B list. There are way too many people to invite! The close family and friends will go on the A list, then distant friends & second cousins, neighbors, etc..... will go on the B list. If you send out the invites a little earlier than usual, than the B list will never know that they are on the B list Good Luck dealing with FMIL!
shelzyp
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Re: Invitations- does everyone have a an A and B list?
I am not, becasue we will ahve the room if everyone comes, but make sure you order response cards with a different date, so people don't know they were on the B list, since people don't alwyas repond no early, then you can have another repeonse card dated two weeks later, and then still send them wit enough time to RSVP.
