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Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

Mishy626 Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:32 PM+

Mishy626 MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1138 WEDDING DATE: Apr 25, 2003

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:32 PM

Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

Ok ladies, I need your help. My mom and I went to order the invites today from a family friend (FH and I picked them out) and now we are not sure whether we worded them right.

I posted about a month ago whether or not to include my fathers name since I have not spoken to him since the summer (parents are divorcing). Long story short we are including his name (and update, I spoke to him on Xmas).... but we worded it like this...

Mr. and Mrs. John ___________
request the honour of your presence.... etc..

The thing is, they are divorcing, so should she still be considered Mrs. John ________ or is she Ms. ______?

We still have time to change the invitation, so I am hoping you girls can help us out. Also, as a side note, mom gets upset now being called a Ms., so if we can avoid that, it would be better.

Should we word the entire invitation differently? Should we say the parents of Michele _________... what should we do?

THANKS so much!

Stacey1403 Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:34 PM+

Stacey1403 MEMBER SINCE: 10/02 TOTAL POSTS : 10847 WEDDING DATE: Jan 04, 2003 WEDDING LOCATION: Not sure yet...

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:34 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

How does your mom feel about the Mr.and Mrs.? Will they be divorced by the time of your wedding? If the Ms. wording upsets her I would go with together with their parents

babeyblu16 Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:36 PM+

babeyblu16 MEMBER SINCE: 2/02 TOTAL POSTS : 421 WEDDING DATE: Jul 04, 2003

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:36 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

Did you look on verseit.com
I think they have every situation under the sun there and it would help you.

Mishy626 Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:37 PM+

Mishy626 MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1138 WEDDING DATE: Apr 25, 2003

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:37 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

They probably won't be divorced by the time of the wedding. I think she is more afraid of what people will say, such as 'why did she put Mr. and Mrs. if they are getting divorced?' I think she is also afraid my father may be angry that she put Mr. and Mrs., although I don't think he will be mad.

Stacey1403 Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:43 PM+

Stacey1403 MEMBER SINCE: 10/02 TOTAL POSTS : 10847 WEDDING DATE: Jan 04, 2003 WEDDING LOCATION: Not sure yet...

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 06:43 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

I would think she wouldn't want the Mr. and Mrs. also. What about the together with their parents idea?

Suz Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:20 PM+

Suz MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 303 WEDDING DATE: Mar 28, 2003

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:20 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

I think you could put

Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Doe request the honour...

That way their names are separate since they are not technically doing the inviting together. Or if she will be going back to her maiden name you could write Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith. Either way it implies that they are not married.

Good luck!

Sassy Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:21 PM+

Sassy MEMBER SINCE: 7/02 TOTAL POSTS : 11475 WEDDING DATE: May 31, 2003

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:21 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

Good Idea Suz

Cindy Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:22 PM+

Cindy MEMBER SINCE: 11/01 TOTAL POSTS : 3529 WEDDING DATE: Aug 24, 2002

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:22 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

The suggestion Suz had sounds like a good idea. I would also think it depends really on maybe how your parents feel about it being worded.

MaryK Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:25 PM+

MaryK MEMBER SINCE: 7/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1014 WEDDING DATE: Apr 26, 2003

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:25 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

Hey Michele!

I think I have seen it the way Suz said if the parents are separated or divorced...

Got your e-mail - thanks! Will respond soon!

Have a happy....!

Valenia Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:29 PM+

Valenia MEMBER SINCE: 4/01 TOTAL POSTS : 2268 WEDDING DATE: Jun 30, 2002

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:29 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

My friend in a similar situation used just first names, and no titles, which I think worked very well...

John and Jane Doe
Jack and Jill Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
...

brooke Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:44 PM+

brooke MEMBER SINCE: 5/02 TOTAL POSTS : 232 WEDDING DATE: May 17, 2003

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 07:44 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

Suz is correct with the wording, but since they've already been ordered, maybe you could leave it up to your mom as to what she's comfortable with wording-wise.

Julybaby Posted: Dec 30, 2002 08:40 PM+

Julybaby MEMBER SINCE: 10/02 TOTAL POSTS : 2664 WEDDING DATE: Jul 05, 2003

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 08:40 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

My parents are divorced and only my father is remarried. My mother also hates Ms. and she now goes by her maiden name. All of my parents suggested that we use 'The parents of ...' otherwise the invitation would be so long listing all the parents' names (that includes my FILs). That seems to be the safest way of having the invitation without any awkwardness. Good luck!

p&a91203 Posted: Dec 30, 2002 08:42 PM+

p&a91203 MEMBER SINCE: 12/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1384 WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2003 WEDDING LOCATION: We're still looking!

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 08:42 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

it depends on whether or not they will still be married at the time of your wedding. If so, then technically she his still 'Mrs.'. If this bothers her too much then I would change it. But if you don't have to then leave it as is.

EvenEdan Posted: Dec 30, 2002 08:45 PM+

EvenEdan MEMBER SINCE: 11/02 TOTAL POSTS : 3110 WEDDING DATE: Nov 27, 2004

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 08:45 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

If your parents are no longer a couple, regardless of whether or not the divorce is finalized, the invite should read like this—

When divorced parents send a joint invitation:
Mrs. Constance Agatheas Gaddis
and
Mr. Gary David Gaddis
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Mishy626

Marcela1654 Posted: Dec 30, 2002 09:23 PM+

Marcela1654 MEMBER SINCE: 2/02 TOTAL POSTS : 10382 WEDDING DATE: May 16, 2004

Posted: Dec 30, 2002 09:23 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

My parents are divorced and my mom kept my dad's last name b/c she has been known for so long by that name. So we're going to do the invites the way EvenEdan suggested.

Mishy626 Posted: Jan 02, 2003 12:08 PM+

Mishy626 MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1138 WEDDING DATE: Apr 25, 2003

Posted: Jan 02, 2003 12:08 PM

Re: Invitations ordered... did we make a mistake? Help please.

Thanks ladies, for all of your help. Mom thought about it and has decided to change the invitations and feels much better about it. You all were a big help. Thanks so much!