Invite advice

Hey girls - this is definitely going to be long so i apologize in advance, but I need some help.

My Aunt (dad's sister) has done a lot of terrible things in the last few years to our family and honestly, I do not want to invite her to the wedding. A few years ago my grandfather passed away and instead of having a funeral she just decided to creamate him so no one had a chance to say goodbye. She didn't ask anyone - just did it and it really upset my father and brother and sister because we were all really close with him. Regardless, we had a service for him in NY (they lived in NC), and she came eventhough no one wanted her there. She gave a eulogy and everything and tried to be all nice to us when none of us wanted anythign to do with her.

Fast forward 2 years... my sister's mom (she's my half sister) passed away suddenly and my dad couldn't get in touch with my aunt to tell her what happened. SHe finally calls my dad after seeing an article in the newspaper that mentioned her death and ask why my dad didn't call her ... um, because she moved and didn't tell anyone and her phone number changed. Anyways, she STILL hasn't called my brother and sister. No card, no email, nothing. She didn't even ackowledge that their mother died, and she's my sister's godmother.

I realllly don't want to invite her after everything that happened, but my dad wants me to just to 'do the right thing'. He thinks she probably won't come, but i wouldn't put it past her after she showed up at my grandfather's memorial service. I just don't want her anywhere near there, but I also don't want my dad to be upset at me.

What do you girls think? Should I just do it and know there might be drama? I don't think she'd start anything, but I just don't want to see her because i'll probably be reminded of how much i hate her. TIA

Again, sorry so long!!

I have a very similar situation.

We plan on NOT inviting them but either way is a lose lose situation for us. I say go with your gut feeling.

Crazy story...However, here is my advise.

DO NOT INVITE HER.

I'm not sure if your family is paying for your wedding and may demand who can come and who can't come, but at the end of the day is your wedding and it's what you gut tells you to do. That day you should not be worried whether she is causing drama at your wedding or not, you should be relaxed and most importently enjoying EVERYONES company.

Sit down with your dad and just tell him your hurt and dont really want to see her face.

I wouldn't

I am in a similar situation with my dad's brother, and we all decided not to invite him. We thought he would cause too much unnecessary drama

Do you really think she won't come? If yes, then invite her so this way if anything is to happen down the road, she doesn't have any ammo on you.

If you think she will come- I would send out the invite only a few weeks before the wedding to 1. increase her chances of not coming and 2. to once again not allow her to have any ammo on you.

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Posted by Soon2BMrsJoeBear

my mom thinks i should send her an invite but write her a note pretty much telling her that i don't want her there.

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I'm sorry but that makes no sense at all. I mean really what are you going to write on the note?

Dear aunt ....,

Here is my invitation, however, we dont want to see you there.

Thanks.

Save the money of the stamps and invitation.

Being that you Dad thinks you should invite her, I think you should go ahead and add her to the list. She prob wont want to spend the $ to come, so I won't worry too much about it.

The day of the wedding, you are going to be so involved with friends/family, that you won't even pay attention to her being there or not.

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Posted by Cataverri

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Posted by Soon2BMrsJoeBear

my mom thinks i should send her an invite but write her a note pretty much telling her that i don't want her there.

---

I'm sorry but that makes no sense at all. I mean really what are you going to write on the note?

Dear aunt ....,

Here is my invitation, however, we dont want to see you there.

Thanks.

Save the money of the stamps and invitation.

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hahah she thinks i should write 'i'm sending this to you because dad asked me to... etc. etc.'

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Posted by Soon2BMrsJoeBear

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Posted by Cataverri

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Posted by Soon2BMrsJoeBear

my mom thinks i should send her an invite but write her a note pretty much telling her that i don't want her there.

---

I'm sorry but that makes no sense at all. I mean really what are you going to write on the note?

Dear aunt ....,

Here is my invitation, however, we dont want to see you there.

Thanks.

Save the money of the stamps and invitation.

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hahah she thinks i should write 'i'm sending this to you because dad asked me to... etc. etc.'

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OMG please dont even bother inviting her save the stamp and invitation money and buy yourself a starbucks.

My mom hasnt spoken to her brother since my grandfather passed away, becuase he took EVERYTHING they had.. which wasnt much but it was disgusting. Before we even got down there half the furniture was emptied from his apartment.

I didnt invite him to the wedding, and noone is mad about it. I say Dont invite her. She wont be missed and you wont feel bad about it in the end!

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Posted by LBUDA

Being that you Dad thinks you should invite her, I think you should go ahead and add her to the list. She prob wont want to spend the $ to come, so I won't worry too much about it.

The day of the wedding, you are going to be so involved with friends/family, that you won't even pay attention to her being there or not.

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I agree with this. And like someone else said, you should send the invite like 2 weeks before the weddings. It will make it inconveinient for her and lessen the likelyhood of her coming.

Good luck! I hope everything works out.

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Posted by Cataverri

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Posted by Soon2BMrsJoeBear

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Posted by Cataverri

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Posted by Soon2BMrsJoeBear

my mom thinks i should send her an invite but write her a note pretty much telling her that i don't want her there.

---

I'm sorry but that makes no sense at all. I mean really what are you going to write on the note?

Dear aunt ....,

Here is my invitation, however, we dont want to see you there.

Thanks.

Save the money of the stamps and invitation.

---

hahah she thinks i should write 'i'm sending this to you because dad asked me to... etc. etc.'

---

OMG please dont even bother inviting her save the stamp and invitation money and buy yourself a starbucks.

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exactly this! LOL. def DO NOT send her an invitation and tell her not to come. it just doesn't make sense! good luck with that!

do not invite her

no no no

I have an aunt that im not inviting bc I feel she may cause drama...I would not risk any sort of drama on such a special, important day

like someone else said, its a lose lose situation, but I don't think she deserves the 'right thing' being done for her.

thanks for the advice ladies... you're all right. i'll talk to my dad about it, but if i HAVE to invite her, i'm sending out the invite like 2 weeks before. i think she'll get the hint

Ugh, I am in the same position, except this person is my brother's wife and WAS my MOH... I so don't want her there and know she will probably dos omething to cause drama, but I have to invite her otherwise I risk my brother not coming.

If you have to invite her, send the invite late like someone else said and hope that she won't come.

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Posted by Soon2BMrsJoeBear

My Aunt (dad's sister) has done a lot of terrible things in the last few years to our family and honestly, I do not want to invite her to the wedding.

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I think you answered your own question! My personal opinion is that SHE should have done the right thing...with your grandfather's passing, with your sister's mom. I think the right thing would be to have the people there who love you and mean the most to you. I would hate to hear of her spoiling your day for any reason.

i would just talk to your dad about it. at the end of the day, it's his family.

i have like 20 people i don't want to invite that have done some pretty terrible things to my family, but they're 'family' so they're on the list. whether they come or not is up to them. i'm not holding my breath. but that was all my mom wanting to 'keep the peace'

i dunno, maybe i'm being harsh, but i would do what your dad wants you to do.