As a couple who is about to get married you want to share your joy with everyone. There will certainly be a few people, who for whatever reason, cannot attend and you know this in advance.
Ettiquette says you should skip the invitation and send them a 'we're married' card.
I want to invite everyone, even if they can't attend.
I have read that there is an expectation of a gift with the invite.
I don't really see it that way. Am I wrong?
Kimbalina
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
I dont think you HAVE to send a gift if you dont want to. In my case I would send an invite to everyone, even if I know that they can not attend.
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
I agree with you...
Either way - a wedding invite or a 'we're married' card - I'd send a gift...
If I knew I couldn't attend the wedding - I'd want to be invited anyway.. does that make sense?
roan126
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
I sent invites to everyone, even if I knew for a fact they couldnt attend. Its not like they werent invited...
korndoggie
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
We sent invites anyway, taking the chance that they were going to say yes but just hoped they would say no.
agraydc
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
send the invite, the thought is that you want them to share in your day and celebrate with you, even if they cannot attend its the thought that counts and your not fishing for gifts
soon2bmrsconnolly
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
There are a few people on my list that I have been told will not be attending, yet they will still be invited. I think it's nice to KNOW you're invited and being thought of, even if you cannot attend.
jeanyus27
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
We sent invites to everyone even if we knew they wouldn't be able to make it. I don't think that implies that they should send a gift. I actually wasn't expecting to get any gifts from those who couldn't attend, but my uncle sent us a check and i thought that was so sweet.
Annoulak
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
In my family, just being invited is the most important thing, otherwise there's family strife.
God forbid I don't invite my father's cousins who live in Greece, have never stepped foot in America and will not come to my wedding even if you paid their airfare! And I totally don't expect them to give or send any sort of gift either.
madseason
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
Posted by Kimbalina
I dont think you HAVE to send a gift if you dont want to. In my case I would send an invite to everyone, even if I know that they can not attend.
agreed!
futuremrsfab
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
hmmm i hadnt thought of that- i was not going to invite two people that I know cant make it- but now I think I will- and I only was not going to invite them because I didnt want them to feel they had to send a gift & one girl just joined my department as the other manager so I felt bad
akrasner
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
I think sending a gift is up to the guest, and is not required. I'm sending invitations who already told me they can't make it after they got my Save the Date.
Princess Cut Bride
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
I would still send an invitation because you want them to know that you want them to be there that day. They shouldn't feel obligated to send a gift.
Hillary0912
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
No way, if they can't come then they should still politely decline. Im sure if an invite wasnt sent then someone mght feel left out...
MrsK2008
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
I agree with you...
Either way - a wedding invite or a 'we're married' card - I'd send a gift...
If I knew I couldn't attend the wedding - I'd want to be invited anyway.. does that make sense?
yes, because i feel the same way.
MrsK2008
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly
There are a few people on my list that I have been told will not be attending, yet they will still be invited. I think it's nice to KNOW you're invited and being thought of, even if you cannot attend.
I believe this whole heartedly
MrsK2008
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
Posted by akrasner
I think sending a gift is up to the guest, and is not required. I'm sending invitations who already told me they can't make it after they got my Save the Date.
i totally agree.
I was not sent an invite to my cousins baby shower last summer and it totally hurt my feelings. I sent her a gift anyway. I did not get a thank you card!
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: Invite Dilemma........not mine
ive always heard that you should send a gift even if you do not attend..its proper etiquette
