Invite Etiquette

nicoleandsean Posted: Jun 20, 2011 06:31 PM

Invite Etiquette

I currently go to graduate school with 5 girls that I would like to invite to our wedding. Each of them are at different stages in the relationship world, but FH and I are only good friends with one of their boyfriends. Another is married (I've met her husband once), another is in a long term relationship (but have never met her boyfriend). One is single and one just started a relationship. My question is, if we decide to invite the one boyfriend that we hang out with, should we invite the other boyfriends/husband even though we don't really know them? And then should I allow all of them to bring a guest to be fair? I know this probably sounds silly but please help!

NYtherapist Posted: Jun 20, 2011 07:54 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

I'll preface my response by saying that I don't think adults should ever be invited to weddings without guests. I know many brides here disagree with that, but I'd be annoyed if I was ever invited without a guest. That said, I don't think it's appropriate to invite a married person without his/her spouse.

soon2beMrsHenry92912 Posted: Jun 20, 2011 08:08 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

I do agree with the post above me, but I also do understand how budgets can limit the plus ones. But if guest is involved in a serious relationship, is engaged and is married that I think it is the right thing to invite their significant others. With your situation, I think you should consider inviting your grad school friends' significant others. If you do invite them all and they all accept, you have one table complete and gives them and you the opportunity to know their 'plus ones' better. HTH!

b2b2013 Posted: Jun 20, 2011 08:10 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

Posted by NYtherapist

I'll preface my response by saying that I don't think adults should ever be invited to weddings without guests. I know many brides here disagree with that, but I'd be annoyed if I was ever invited without a guest. That said, I don't think it's appropriate to invite a married person without his/her spouse.

ITA... especially because it's friends from school- they won't really know anyone else and to go without a guest could be a bit awkward

gmcamp Posted: Jun 20, 2011 08:21 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

I think the ones with the husbands/serious bfs should be invited with a guest, and if the one just starting a relationship is still with the same guy when you're sending out invites, then her and the single friend should get plus ones. I mean, it would be pretty awkward to give everyone a plus one but her.

Byrne2Be Posted: Jun 20, 2011 09:28 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

Posted by NYtherapist

I'll preface my response by saying that I don't think adults should ever be invited to weddings without guests. I know many brides here disagree with that, but I'd be annoyed if I was ever invited without a guest. That said, I don't think it's appropriate to invite a married person without his/her spouse.

This.

I can't imagine being invited to a wedding without my husband. I likely wouldn't go if that was the case.

Debbie2011 Posted: Jun 20, 2011 11:19 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

If you can afford it, I would invite each guest with her spouse or significant other. And this is my own opinion, but if I was finding that $ was tight, then I would re-work my budget and spend less in certain areas (flowers, favors, personalized napkins/matches, etc) so that I would have enough money to invite every guest with a date.

nicoleandsean Posted: Jun 21, 2011 07:45 AM

Re: Invite Etiquette

Thank you everyone for your help!!!

lisam1113 Posted: Jun 21, 2011 08:42 AM

Re: Invite Etiquette

Posted by NYtherapist

I'll preface my response by saying that I don't think adults should ever be invited to weddings without guests. I know many brides here disagree with that, but I'd be annoyed if I was ever invited without a guest. That said, I don't think it's appropriate to invite a married person without his/her spouse.

I definately agree with this. If I hardly new the bride & wasn't allowed to take my long term bf or even husband I wouldn't go to the wedding dateless. I would invite all of them plus there dates. But if your iffy for the one that doesn't have a serious relationship then just for now leave it at just her & as time goes by decide whether or not to include her with a guest or not.

jettahot Posted: Jun 21, 2011 08:58 AM

Re: Invite Etiquette

Posted by NYtherapist

I'll preface my response by saying that I don't think adults should ever be invited to weddings without guests. I know many brides here disagree with that, but I'd be annoyed if I was ever invited without a guest. That said, I don't think it's appropriate to invite a married person without his/her spouse.

Totally agree!

bride2be2012 Posted: Jun 21, 2011 09:31 AM

Re: Invite Etiquette

Posted by soon2beMrsHenry92912

I do agree with the post above me, but I also do understand how budgets can limit the plus ones. But if guest is involved in a serious relationship, is engaged and is married that I think it is the right thing to invite their significant others. With your situation, I think you should consider inviting your grad school friends' significant others. If you do invite them all and they all accept, you have one table complete and gives them and you the opportunity to know their 'plus ones' better. HTH!

ITA - I would never go to a wedding if my FH was not invited with me.

pjc92980 Posted: Jun 21, 2011 09:37 AM

Re: Invite Etiquette

i agree with the first post about inviting with a guest as adults but i am also on a budget!
i think you have plenty of time to decide since your wedding isnt til next year and a lot can change. if money is an issue, then i would say they all get a guest except the single one

Yankeeelove Posted: Jun 21, 2011 12:29 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

Posted by jettahot

Posted by NYtherapist

I'll preface my response by saying that I don't think adults should ever be invited to weddings without guests. I know many brides here disagree with that, but I'd be annoyed if I was ever invited without a guest. That said, I don't think it's appropriate to invite a married person without his/her spouse.

Totally agree!

I agree as well. I honestly don't think I would attend a wedding if I couldn't bring my fh, just being honest.

KrisBren2011 Posted: Jun 21, 2011 01:58 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

I think if you are inviting one with a guest you should invite them all with a guest.

pixietina Posted: Jun 21, 2011 02:18 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

Posted by b2b2013

Posted by NYtherapist

I'll preface my response by saying that I don't think adults should ever be invited to weddings without guests. I know many brides here disagree with that, but I'd be annoyed if I was ever invited without a guest. That said, I don't think it's appropriate to invite a married person without his/her spouse.

ITA... especially because it's friends from school- they won't really know anyone else and to go without a guest could be a bit awkward

This! I have friends that will know each other very well so they are not getting plus ones and then my friends who won't know anyone are allowed to bring a guest.

nicoleandsean Posted: Jun 21, 2011 07:51 PM

Re: Invite Etiquette

The 6 of us are actually very good friends and hang out often, so we each know each other very well. It wouldn't be like they didn't know anyone if they weren't invited with a guest. Majority of the time they prefer to do things just the girls and not invite their SO (if they have one). Didn't want you guys to think I'd be hanging them out to dry! I would have never even questioned it if they wouldn't have each other to hang out with!