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My FH just told me his mom isn't planning on inviting his grandparents to the rehearsal dinner as they are 'not needed there' but I was planning on inviting my aunts/uncles that are coming from far away - around 2 couples. I don't have any grandparents that will be able to make it. Is it not appropriate for me to invite them now as FH's grandparents won't be there since my future in laws are paying for it??
No one is 'needed' at a rehersal dinner - its usually just a nice time for the family and the bridal party and other selected out of town guests to relax the night before the wedding. Definitely talk to your FH - if you both want them there then they should be. It seems really strange that his mom wouldn't invite them. Could there be some other reason behind her decision? If she has an issue with them being there and forcing the issue would antagonize her then maybe you need to defer to her wishes. It sounds like you really need FH to be more involved with this.
I would discuss it with your FMIL - if she is on a budget and it's important that you invite them, offer to pay the difference.
I agree with Sanmik....talk to your mil and tell her that you would like the grandparents to be there. If $ is a factor, offer to pay for them.
