Girls - I have a question for you. My 19 yr old male cousin has a girlfriend for past 3 years. FH and I made a rule NO ONE under 21 can bring a date. We have about 7 coming between 17-20. (2 are FH brothers, 2 are FH nephew). But I'm still taking heat. My mom told me that I have to invite his gf, and even my Aunt said something.
A. I don't like her at all. B. They are 19?!?! C. I feel like if I say OK to him, its going to open a can of worms - like why can't I bring a date if he can...etc.
So basically I've gone with - we made a decision and we are sticking to it.
My question is - Am I wrong? Or should I just keep up the NO DATES?
Thanks in advance!!!
Im a Pepper
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I don't think you're wrong at all. I'd stick to my guns too.
flairforfashion
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Personally, I would invite people with a guest if they have been together for more than a year. BUT if you can't invite everyone with a guest, then don't do it at all. If your cousin gets to bring his lady, other people who are in relationships will wonder why they couldn't bring a date.
FutureMrsG
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I think you should stick with no dates.
Future Mulligan
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what is hard is that they have been together for awhile - even though they are young that makes it a sticky situation....maybe they will break up by then? otherwise, maybe its better if they are invited as a couple - im sure everyone in the fam knows that they have been dating for a long time and will understand
krislee316
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NO STICK TO UR DECISION WE ARE NOT HAVING ANY CHILDREN UNDER 15 AND I AM DREADING WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AUNTS AND UNCLES FIND THAT OUT......WHO EVENKNOWS IF THEY WILL BE TOGETHER WHEN U GET MARRIED ANYWAY LIKE U SAID THEY ARE 19...GOOD LUCK
MrsDtoBe09
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Posted by flairforfashion
Personally, I would invite people with a guest if they have been together for more than a year. BUT if you can't invite everyone with a guest, then don't do it at all. If your cousin gets to bring his lady, other people who are in relationships will wonder why they couldn't bring a date.
I agree! I would invite someone with a guest if they've been together for a while. I have a question though, is your mom paying for the wedding? If so then I'd say she has every right to question the guest list but if not I'd tell her that since I'm paying I'll be making the decisions!
MakingofaMulligan
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I'm paying for the wedding with FH.
To be honest, I can't see this lasting forever and I know my cousin won't be mad. His GF will be the one mad. My Mom and Aunt (cousin's mom) just want to avoid controversy. My thought is - I'm cutting people off my list to keep the list down and why should I invite someone that I don't think has a place there.
I agree with the general rule of 1 year of dating ask with date. We've kind of said over 21 with a date regardless.
Maybe I'm over thinking it.
cedesnyc
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yeah....that's a bit tricky b/c you want to do the right thing. it's not like she's some date its his gf of many years....
are you opposing b/c you don't really like her?
But since you guys are paying for it, you have to call the shots despite of what ppl say.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Well think back to when you were 19... at that age, I was with FH for 2 yrs and I too would be a little pissy about it! If the fam knows her well, I would def invite her too...
Future Mrs Roo
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ok, this is what I am doing. no one under 18 period. Only invited with a date if you are in a SERIOUS realtionship. They have been together for long time, but if I didnt like her I wouldnt invite her especially if you said your cousin wont be mad
VickiR510
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Well i think i would want my boyfriend there if i dated someone for that long. I thik you canget away with it by saying if you are dating someone for over 3 yrs then its ok. I think most people will be ok with him bringing his gf of 3 yrs. I mean that is a long time. The age doesnt matter.
MakingofaMulligan
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Aside from age, I have a huge family. I wasn't even invited to a family wedding until I was 18 and was never invited with a date.
I think a large portion is I don't want FH brothers there with the girls of the week and I don't like cousin's gf.
hmmmm, I have until the end of August/early September to re-think
EDIT: I do really appreciate your opinions though ladies. It's nice to get outside views!!!
PreshusSmurf
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in my opinion, 'no dates' is very different from 'you can't bring your girlfriend'
i would invite her.
there's going to be so many people at the wedding, you probably won't even notice that's she's there that day.
evewedsjc
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they are 19 for goodness sake...stick to your guns...i would not worry about it...that is crazy
MrsInglima
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I don't think you're wrong. Stick to your plans. Remember it's your day, not theirs, and you're allowed to do whatever you want!
ttdiff11
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id stick to my guns tooo
lanamanitta
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Stick to your guns. You don't like her, they don't live together, and even if he were 25 I'd say those are good enough reasons not to budget her and the other dates that will roll in, into the wedding.
