Invite question

Notwedyet08 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:30 PM

Invite question

Did you & FH split your list 50/50?

FH is not as close to his family; instead he's got really close friends. I have always been SUPER close to family; and have 1-2 really good friends.

We're having small wedding; and are really trying to cut our list as much as possible. I'm making more cuts in the friends area b/c i feel like we don't talk that often; or hang out that often; i don't mind not inviting them. BUT FH has friends that he talks to EVERYDAY sees often (even some that i've become close friends w/their wives/girlfriends) and he can't cut them.

SO now it's like i'm cutting all the people i would invite to keep our list low; since he's unable to cut his side.

Now i feel like i need to up the people on my side & invite some more of my friends EVEN if I haven't spoke to them in months!

ETA : The friends that FH is inviting have become our MUTUAL friends just cause we see them so much! We've gone on vacations with ALL of them at some point. Weekend SKI trips; trip to miami; trips to the caribbean; so in essence the women (girlfriends & wives) are now my friends too. Just on paper; i guess it looks like they're all from his side!

MrsTarricone2B Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:34 PM

Re: Invite question

We're splitting down the middle - it's the most fair way. We both have big families so it's easiest to just say this is the set number we each get and that's it.

SoonToBeMrsCali Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:34 PM

Re: Invite question

We are also having a 'small' wedding...... most of the invited guests are OOT ...some know FH, some don't... We cut out the people that didn't know us as a couple well....... even if we've met before. As of now, I didn't even invite my OOT first cousins because they are all grown and married that adds 30+ people that barely know us.

luvstruck Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:35 PM

Re: Invite question

I agree. We're cutting down the middle too.

Notwedyet08 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:37 PM

Re: Invite question

Thanks!

I just got a little annoyed cause i wanted to add a friend of mine and her new fiance; and FH was like No we can't invite them cause they haven't been around; I haven't seen her in a year + and only talk every now & then. BUT i just figured since he's got all these close friends of his coming i should have a few people on my side to include!

i guess there will always be a few more invited on one persons side...

CrazyLove11 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:40 PM

Re: Invite question

We didn't split our list 50/50. I have a much larger family and it wouldn't be fair to go down the middle in our case.

Notwedyet08 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:42 PM

Re: Invite question

Posted by CrazyLove11

We didn't split our list 50/50. I have a much larger family and it wouldn't be fair to go down the middle in our case.

yea; i don't think it's easy to do a 50/50 split. There will be SOMEONE left out.

msmontoute Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:46 PM

Re: Invite question

Yeah we are not doing a 50/50 split...Think we are going to have about 190 people...FH and his family will only have about 50, I have about 70 and my parents will have about 70.....I have a much much larger family than FH.

Notwedyet08 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:49 PM

Re: Invite question

Posted by msmontoute

Yeah we are not doing a 50/50 split...Think we are going to have about 190 people...FH and his family will only have about 50, I have about 70 and my parents will have about 70.....I have a much much larger family than FH.

wow you've got 140 pp from your side and he's only getting 50!! That sounds like us! LOL! he's got more on his side than me!

mybabylovesmoi Posted: Jan 18, 2011 12:53 PM

Re: Invite question

I will probably say that 75% of the list is me and we are only having 100-120 people.

I don't think it's fair to split 50/50 because family size, group of friends could be really different.

If these people you don't see often that you are considering cutting mean something to you and you can't imagine NOT inviting them, then I'd fight for them to be on the list. But if you only want to add them to keep things even, I don't think that's a good idea.

Besides, the gifts that FH's friends will bring are half yours anyway!

msmontoute Posted: Jan 18, 2011 01:00 PM

Re: Invite question

Posted by Notwedyet08

Posted by msmontoute

Yeah we are not doing a 50/50 split...Think we are going to have about 190 people...FH and his family will only have about 50, I have about 70 and my parents will have about 70.....I have a much much larger family than FH.

wow you've got 140 pp from your side and he's only getting 50!! That sounds like us! LOL! he's got more on his side than me!

Girl, it is not a game...LOL..he was born and raised in Barbados and has only lived here for 10 years after college. His family is pretty spread out so we are not even sure how many of them are coming..But based on everyone he wants to invite...he says he has 60 but he is only going to mail his first 50 and then as no's come in, he can add the remaining people. My mom actually has 97 but she is only maily her first 80..and I have about 85 and I am only mailing my first 65...and hoping for the best! HA!!

bebita0830 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 01:08 PM

Re: Invite question

I'd say he has 60% and I have 40%. U don't have to have the same percentage (50/50) I think it's all about how often you interact with a person, and how close u're with them, even if that means ur list is shorter than his. But if u can invite extra people, go for it. Just remember to invite MORE than ur minimum 'cause people might not be able to come.

Notwedyet08 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 02:15 PM

Re: Invite question

Posted by bebita0830

I'd say he has 60% and I have 40%. U don't have to have the same percentage (50/50) I think it's all about how often you interact with a person, and how close u're with them, even if that means ur list is shorter than his. But if u can invite extra people, go for it. Just remember to invite MORE than ur minimum 'cause people might not be able to come.

THANKS!!

We tend to just hang out w/FH friends more. Most of them are all couples; and we've done trips with almost all of them! So we're definetely closer to his people than the friends that i have from years ago that just don't stay in touch with anymore.

merbride Posted: Jan 18, 2011 02:17 PM

Re: Invite question

his list was almost triple mine! I have a really small family and almost all of his friends are married... he also invited co-workers and I did not. He really didnt cut out anyone... I cut out a handful of old friends...

leesah85 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 02:17 PM

Re: Invite question

Posted by mybabylovesmoi

I will probably say that 75% of the list is me and we are only having 100-120 people.

I don't think it's fair to split 50/50 because family size, group of friends could be really different.

If these people you don't see often that you are considering cutting mean something to you and you can't imagine NOT inviting them, then I'd fight for them to be on the list. But if you only want to add them to keep things even, I don't think that's a good idea.

Besides, the gifts that FH's friends will bring are half yours anyway!

ITA with this.

FH and I are inviting about 40 friends

My parents are inviting about 130 people

FH's parents are inviting about 90 people.

That's just the way that it worked best for all of us. We drew a line in the 'generational' division of who we would invite from both sides and stuck to it.