invite/fh faimly drama...help!

ok problem solved...thanks ladies!!!
I am going ot go with..
son of Mrs. Andrea Jones and Mr. Charles Jones (even though she would be Ms not Mrs its still easier and at least her first name is in there)

Ugh where do i even begin...

Long story short, we plan on wording our invites:
Ms & Mr smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Paula to Daniel
son of Mr & Mrs. Jones
etc etc etc

From the beginning my parents wanted name recognition since they are paying a majority of the wedding. FH parents agreed to pay $5000 and FH wanted them on the invite so i said fine. Well the past few months his mom has been saying shes leaving her husband and the call we received yesterday said she spoke with a lawyer and found out what is involved to get a divorce. I told FH we need to remove the line that says 'son of' and not bother bc i dont want to chance it. i said we can be faulted if they start the divorce process and we have her listed like that but we can not be faulted if there names are not listed bc that is the traditional way of wording an invite anyway . I feel so strongly about removing this line but FH is on the fence (he says his mom is dramatic and isnt sure a divorce will come to fruition).

Do i argue my point and make him take it out or let him decide and suffer any consequences that arise????
oh and FH also said he doesnt think we will see any of the $5000 she said she would pay which is also why i am so against having them listed on there

what would you do?

Sorry, I am confused as to why you would be faulted by having their names on the invite.. Even if they divorce he is still the 'son of' can you explain? I feel dumb lol.. Maybe I can help more if I understand

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Posted by DCgirl82

Sorry, I am confused as to why you would be faulted by having their names on the invite.. Even if they divorce he is still the 'son of' can you explain? I feel dumb lol.. Maybe I can help more if I understand

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Thanks DC, i was trying to get this too....

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Posted by VCanizalez

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Posted by DCgirl82

Sorry, I am confused as to why you would be faulted by having their names on the invite.. Even if they divorce he is still the 'son of' can you explain? I feel dumb lol.. Maybe I can help more if I understand

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Thanks DC, i was trying to get this too....

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I think it's the 'Mr. and Mrs' part

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Posted by DCgirl82

Sorry, I am confused as to why you would be faulted by having their names on the invite.. Even if they divorce he is still the 'son of' can you explain? I feel dumb lol.. Maybe I can help more if I understand

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you are right, he is still son of, but my parents are divorced so they are getting listed separately:
Ms. Phyllis Smith
Mr. David Smith
etc etc etc
and than it says son of Mr. & Mrs. Charles Jones

it would basically be her not wanting to be recognized as Mrs. Charles Jones

My mom flipped when the sample came and it showed Ms. Phyllis & Mr. David Smith...she wanted complete separation and they are on amazingly good terms

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Posted by DCgirl82

Sorry, I am confused as to why you would be faulted by having their names on the invite.. Even if they divorce he is still the 'son of' can you explain? I feel dumb lol.. Maybe I can help more if I understand

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ITA.

I would leave the names on the invite since it means a lot to FH. Maybe you could change it to

son of
'Mr. Last name & Mrs. Maiden Name'

if you really think it's going to cause a stir.

I would let FH make the decision. His parents divorce is probably already very painful for him. My parents divorced during my engagement and it can be difficult.

I really don't think you can go wrong either way. The parents divorce is not going to be final until after the wedding. I'd speak to them about whether they would mind being mr and mrs on the invite. If not you can leave them off for simplicity's sake.

Because our family situation is comlex (I don't speak to my dad, FFIL passed away) we have 'together with their families' on our invite and no parents mentioned by name

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Posted by pjc92980

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Posted by DCgirl82

Sorry, I am confused as to why you would be faulted by having their names on the invite.. Even if they divorce he is still the 'son of' can you explain? I feel dumb lol.. Maybe I can help more if I understand

---

you are right, he is still son of, but my parents are divorced so they are getting listed separately:
Ms. Phyllis Smith
Mr. David Smith
etc etc etc
and than it says son of Mr. & Mrs. Charles Jones

My mom flipped when the sample came and it showed Ms. Phyllis & Mr. David Smith...she wanted complete separation and they are on amazingly good terms
it would basically be her not wanting to be recognized as Mrs. Charles Jones

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Then I would list his parent separately too if they are ok with it. It would look symmetrical. People might not think anything of it, especially if FMIL is keeping her married name for the time being

Maybe dont put ANY PARETNS name... and TOAST or dedicate a Song to ur paretns in teh wedding for all the help they gave U,.....

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Posted by HSsweethearts

Then I would list his parent separately too if they are ok with it. It would look symmetrical. People might not think anything of it, especially if FMIL is keeping her married name for the time being

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thats a great idea!

and we didnt want to do together with our families bc my parents felt their names should be listed since they are paying for the wedding and i cant say i disagree

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Posted by VCanizalez

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Posted by DCgirl82

Sorry, I am confused as to why you would be faulted by having their names on the invite.. Even if they divorce he is still the 'son of' can you explain? I feel dumb lol.. Maybe I can help more if I understand

---

Thanks DC, i was trying to get this too....

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Ditto... hes still the son of both... just seperate it...

Mr. Jones & Mrs. or Ms. whatever last name she chooses...

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Posted by pjc92980

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Posted by DCgirl82

Sorry, I am confused as to why you would be faulted by having their names on the invite.. Even if they divorce he is still the 'son of' can you explain? I feel dumb lol.. Maybe I can help more if I understand

---

you are right, he is still son of, but my parents are divorced so they are getting listed separately:
Ms. Phyllis Smith
Mr. David Smith
etc etc etc
and than it says son of Mr. & Mrs. Charles Jones

it would basically be her not wanting to be recognized as Mrs. Charles Jones

My mom flipped when the sample came and it showed Ms. Phyllis & Mr. David Smith...she wanted complete separation and they are on amazingly good terms

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Ok I get it!! Maybe list his parents separatly also then? like put his dads name and then his moms name with her maiden name?

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Posted by DCgirl82

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Posted by pjc92980

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Posted by DCgirl82

Sorry, I am confused as to why you would be faulted by having their names on the invite.. Even if they divorce he is still the 'son of' can you explain? I feel dumb lol.. Maybe I can help more if I understand

---

you are right, he is still son of, but my parents are divorced so they are getting listed separately:
Ms. Phyllis Smith
Mr. David Smith
etc etc etc
and than it says son of Mr. & Mrs. Charles Jones

it would basically be her not wanting to be recognized as Mrs. Charles Jones

My mom flipped when the sample came and it showed Ms. Phyllis & Mr. David Smith...she wanted complete separation and they are on amazingly good terms

---

Ok I get it!! Maybe list his parents separatly also then? like put his dads name and then his moms name with her maiden name?

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But aren't they still married? And if FH doesn't think that they will actually go through with it then respect him and don't touch it. It's a very tuff time for him divorces effect people a lot harder then you think and you dont want to raise any red flags if they haven't told anyone in the family yet (like cousins and aunts and stuff)

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Posted by ColliMac23

But aren't they still married? And if FH doesn't think that they will actually go through with it then respect him and don't touch it. It's a very tuff time for him divorces effect people a lot harder then you think and you dont want to raise any red flags if they haven't told anyone in the family yet (like cousins and aunts and stuff)

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they are still married but as of yesterday she contacted a lawyer and found out what needs to be done. we literally have to sign off on the invite approvals with her this week so i cant wait to see if she is just bluffing or if she is serious.
I agree about not wanting to set off red flags if she hasnt told everyone however i dont think removing their names would set off ideas in anyones head since 99% of traditional worded invitations do not include the grooms parents names which is why i thought that was the safest bet

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Posted by pjc92980

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Posted by ColliMac23

But aren't they still married? And if FH doesn't think that they will actually go through with it then respect him and don't touch it. It's a very tuff time for him divorces effect people a lot harder then you think and you dont want to raise any red flags if they haven't told anyone in the family yet (like cousins and aunts and stuff)

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they are still married but as of yesterday she contacted a lawyer and found out what needs to be done. we literally have to sign off on the invite approvals with her this week (have had the info for 30 days) so i cant wait to see if she is just bluffing or if she is serious.
I agree about not wanting to set off red flags if she hasnt told everyone however i dont think removing their names would set off ideas in anyones head since 99% of traditional worded invitations do not include the grooms parents names spelled out. that is why i thought that was the safest bet

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I would leave it and let her look over them one last time and see if she wants it changed. If she doesn't then leave it

i am going thru this as we speak my fhil's are seperated so we wording it like this

Mr & Mrs (my parents) and
Mrs. A. C and Mr. L. C
request the honor of your pressence at the marriage of their children
Me
and
FH

hope that helps