So I have a small issue with invites. A surprise engagement party was thrown for us 2 summers ago. A girl that I work with who used to be a really good friend, invited a bunch of our co workers. I am not close with these people, and honestly I don't really like them because they are mean.... They gave us a gift so I feel bad not inviting them to the wedding BUT, I know they don't like me on a personal level. They just want to go for the free food and entertainment. I am not happy about that. If FH and I planned the engagement party they would not have been invited... do I HAVE to invite them because they were at the engagement party?
Jennmolloy
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
IMO I don't think that you have to. I am not sure what etiquette says. But the way I look at it is...your wedding, your day, your quest list. I don't think that it is necessary. As you say you didn't plan the e-party, so you are under no obliation.
geegee827
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
I wouldn't invite them. You didn't control the guest list at your e-party - however, you have control over the guest list at your wedding. For what a wedding costs, I don't believe you should invite anyone you don't want to.
I am not inviting all of my co-workers to the wedding - just the ones I socialize with outside of the office and my bosses.
Jaime321
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
There are about 5 people that I am inviting from work including my bosses.. if the other people ask I will just tell them it was a budget issue I guess.
shell1879
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Posted by Jaime321
There are about 5 people that I am inviting from work including my bosses.. if the other people ask I will just tell them it was a budget issue I guess.
exactally what i would say
megsher
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
Sorry to highjack this post, but it got me thinking Ok so my situation is a little different. I just moved to NY and started a new job this august. My wedding is in MD next summer. I am inviting 8 coworkers from my old job, close friends I still keep in touch with. At my new job, I am close with the other third grade teacher and we do things socially, but that's it. Do you have to invite your boss? I know I can wait and see how things are in April, but it seems awkward to send out an invite, knowing they aren't going to travel to MD and pay for a hotel, without it looking like I'm asking for a gift. Oh, at my old work, we had a male principal, he never went to weddings, but if he was invited he sent a very generous gift. Not sure what to do, in this economy work issues are so iffy.
FinallyMrsB18
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
I wouldn't invite them. I can tell you really don't want them there. This is your special day. If anyone says anything just say you are having a small wedding, and you wish you could invite everyone. Blah, blah, blah. Who cares what you should do. Do what you want.
geegee827
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
Posted by megsher
Sorry to highjack this post, but it got me thinking Ok so my situation is a little different. I just moved to NY and started a new job this august. My wedding is in MD next summer. I am inviting 8 coworkers from my old job, close friends I still keep in touch with. At my new job, I am close with the other third grade teacher and we do things socially, but that's it. Do you have to invite your boss? I know I can wait and see how things are in April, but it seems awkward to send out an invite, knowing they aren't going to travel to MD and pay for a hotel, without it looking like I'm asking for a gift. Oh, at my old work, we had a male principal, he never went to weddings, but if he was invited he sent a very generous gift. Not sure what to do, in this economy work issues are so iffy.
The only reason I am inviting my bosses is that I directly report to all 4 of them (I'm the head paralegal/office manager in a law firm) and I really do like them all. Most people realize how expensive weddings are and I really don't think any of my co-workers would be upset if I don't invite them. Whenever ANYONE asks about the wedding size, I tell them it's small (even though it isn't).
MLAngelo
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
Posted by Jaime321
So I have a small issue with invites. A surprise engagement party was thrown for us 2 summers ago. A girl that I work with who used to be a really good friend, invited a bunch of our co workers. I am not close with these people, and honestly I don't really like them because they are mean.... They gave us a gift so I feel bad not inviting them to the wedding BUT, I know they don't like me on a personal level. They just want to go for the free food and entertainment. I am not happy about that. If FH and I planned the engagement party they would not have been invited... do I HAVE to invite them because they were at the engagement party?
Technically if someone is invited to the engagement party you should invite them to the wedding, however since it was a surprise e-party I don't think that rule applies.
mlcvln129
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
I teach in two different elementary schools (I'm an orchestra teacher). I report directly to a director of fine arts, who I have a great relationship with. (He's jokingly told me that he has his 'dancing shoes' ready for my wedding!) I'm inviting him, but I probably will not invite either of my principals unless I get a ton of 'no' replies. That's not a hard decision for me. The hard decision comes with co-workers. I'm planning on inviting the general music teachers who I directly work with (they're both 20-somethings), the band teacher who I share classrooms with (even though we have a strained relationship lately--yay stress), another GM teacher from a different building who is in my wedding party (we started within a year of each other), and one of the HS orchestra teachers (whose job I took over six years ago). I know that there are other people in my department who I would like to invite, and I've had a number of debates with the GM teacher who's in my wedding party about this. My FH and I are trying to make cuts to our list in order to accommodate our super large families, but it's nearly impossible. If we had smaller families, then inviting more co-workers would be a non-issue. I'm just afraid of upsetting people in my department, but I think people will understand that weddings cost major $$$ and in this economy plus the fact that my fiance is finishing his masters this year (he's also a music teacher), I can't invite everybody. What to do?????
EmiNoa628
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
No U don't have to.. Just invite the important ppl. If you don't like them don't invite them. If you know they will only go for food and entertainment don't do it.. You can invite someone more important in there place.
browneyes
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
thats a tuff one but im going to go with No. its not like u picked who was invited to the party n ur not friemds with them so who realy cares what they think about it neway.... thats my outlook on it anyway
dazies1011
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
I work with all women and Im only inviting the ones I like and are friendly with. No one can say anything since there have been others that have gotten married in the past and havent invited everyone.
HappyBride22
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Re: Inviting Co-workers ??
This is a tough question, but I think you can get away without inviting them esp since the party was a while ago.
