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inviting cousins?

kathleen1080 Posted:

inviting cousins?

I am debating not inviting my cousins to my wedding. This is my second wedding, and I am not at all close to them. We do not spend holidays or speak to them unless there is a major event.

Can I not invite them? I know I CAN, but what is the right thing to do here?

tellyy1122 Posted:

inviting cousins?

since is ur second wedding,dont invite ur cousins..

ladygoodman Posted:

inviting cousins?

If you aren't close to them it isn't necessary. My cousins are like my siblings so I couldn't get married without them there. But fh isn't close to his cousins and when one of them got married she didn't invite any of her cousons.

McC2McM Posted:

inviting cousins?

You explained the relationship you have with them, but what about the relationship you may *want* to have with them? If you don't see any future relationships, then you don't have to invite them, but remember that families tend to feel smaller as a generation gets older. As aunts and uncles pass, cousins tend to reach out to each other. Try to think of yourself in the future and ask yourself what the right decision is.

kathleen1080 Posted:

Re: inviting cousins?

Honestly, there was a period of time where we didn't speak to that side of the family for about 10 years. Once we have kids, I still will not feel as though I am missing something if they do not attend birthday parties and functions like that. Don't get me wrong, they are nice people, I just don't identify with them at all and would never call them for any reason. I do not want to offend them, but I'm not even sure they want to come to another wedding since they all were invited the first time. Is that terrible?

Marty Posted:

inviting cousins?

I didn't invite my cousins to my wedding. It was a hard decision to make, but like you said - I'm not close to my cousins. I don't spend holidays with them, none of them live near me, and when a few of them have lived near me, we haven't gotten together. My husband and I have been together for 5 years, and he hasn't even met all my cousins. Those he has met, have been so brief that I don't think he can even name any of them. I have almost 30 of them (that's not counting spouses), and I think I estimated that my list would go up 50 just inviting cousins and spouses. We were already hitting our limit with people to invite, so I made the hard decision not to invite them. I think it was hardest for my mom, because a few of her siblings were unpleasant about their kids not being invited.

A little part of me regrets not inviting them, just because I know my mom didn't need the added stress of dealing with her siblings, but at the same time I didn't miss them not being there and spending more money didn't seem worth it. I'm sure in a year everyone will forget about it and they'll be upset about some other problem.
simba301 Posted:

inviting cousins?

I wanted to keep my wedding small (60-80 people) so I'm not inviting cousins I'm not close to. I don't have many first cousins, but lots of younger second and third cousins. So, I just sent STD's to the ones I really want to be there. This might not go over well with the rest of my extended family, but I didn't want a huge wedding so I had to trim the list somehow.

Alyssa M Posted:

inviting cousins?

I'm not inviting my cousins. My mom is one of 12 and I literally have over 60 first cousins. I never see them (except for a handful) except for the rare holiday here and there and we just don't have the funds for it since we're paying for the wedding ourselves. I think you should do whatever you can afford, it was more important for me to have my closest friends there than a slew of cousins I see every two or three years.

natalierose1085 Posted:

inviting cousins?

do whatever you can afford. if you don't invite them i don't think it's a big deal if it's your second wedding. if you are having this huge wedding with lots of people invited i can see how a cousin might be insulted if they weren't invited, but if that's not the case then i think it's fine not to invite them.

violet0711 Posted:

inviting cousins?

I'm not inviting most of my relatives since I'm not that close to them. I'm only keeping it to my immediate family and close friends.

Bride2Be78 Posted:

Re: inviting cousins?

We have a huge family & decided not to invite all of our cousins. We invited the ones that we were closest to and speak on a regular basis.

Since it's your 2nd wedding and you really dont talk to them I would skip it. HTH!

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