Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

bluegreen08 Posted: Feb 01, 2008 09:42 AM

Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

Are you inviting anyone to the ceremony but not the reception? What are the circumstances? Are you getting married at your hall?

I was explaining to my OOT bridesmaid that I wasn't inviting a girl I don't particularly like, and my BM suggested that I invite her to the ceremony only. Aside from the fact that I don't want her there at all, I feel like that's more insulting than not inviting someone in the first place. Plus, I'm getting married at my hall so I don't think that's really an option.

I've only really heard of that being done when the ceremony is at a separate location and the bride/groom is a teacher or coach --- inviting their students to the ceremony. (FH's basketball coach invited the team to the ceremony but not the reception).

Thoughts?

Edit: I'm not asking for advice, I'm just curious how you all feel about this issue. I am not inviting this girl at all, I personally think it's way more offensive to invite someone to just the ceremony than not at all, and I don't think it's even an option since I'm getting married at my hall. I was just surprised to hear my BM suggest that so I'm curious to see what the opinionated ladies on here think.

madseason Posted: Feb 01, 2008 09:45 AM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

I wouldnt extend the invitation. Ive had ppl ask if they can come see me get married, and then I gave them the info....ppl im not close to, but if they asked to see me get married...that was the only time.

I wouldnt invite someone. I dont think its right IMHO....I wouldnt do that esp if you are getting married at the hall...

Snick n Nick Posted: Feb 01, 2008 09:56 AM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

Definitely wouldn't do it....except maybe for the teacher/coach scenario, that would be ok. I know my parents went to the ceremony of my dad's secretary's son b/c it was at their church and they kind of got them into the church, so they wanted to see how it went and be there for her, but did not expect to be invited to the reception at all.

Ms Sawney Posted: Feb 01, 2008 10:04 AM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

A friend did that to my parents and my parents felt very insulted its as if they are only good enough for one part and you want a gift so they didn't give a gift and they didn't show up

LeeLee111 Posted: Feb 01, 2008 10:26 AM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

I have a few people coming to the church and not the reception but they are aunts/uncles/grandmothers of BM's I've known for years.

missliss Posted: Feb 01, 2008 10:48 AM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

You may have people just come on their own to the church/ceremony, w/o an invite to either, and that's ok. I've been know to church crash myself on occasion.

But to only extend an invite to the ceremony is rude. It's basically saying, sure we'd love to have you share in the part of our day that doesn't cost us anything, but not to the part where we have to pay for you. People may say otherwise but I honestly think there's no two ways about it. If you invite someone, it's to all or nothing.

minibride08 Posted: Feb 01, 2008 10:53 AM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

I chose NO... with exceptions... For example, one of our GM's sister who will be watching our GM kids after the ceremony- is coming to the church so she can take the kids home after. Also, my MOH invited a few of her friends that are so happy for Mike & I to the church... since we're paying for the whole wedding- I think people understand if we can't invite them to the RH, even if they come out to the church....

redvelvet Posted: Feb 01, 2008 11:53 AM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

a co worker did this to me. i feel bad about doing that to someone. fh said just dont invite her at all. its not that i dont like her i think that was sooo rude of her. like i care to see her get married in the first place. i wasnt even expecting an invitaion bc we arnt that close but we do have conv. about life and family occassionally. since she heard that i am getting married, she is all in my business and asking me what am i up to now (in the planning process); giving me tips and offered to give this book she found that was helpful i think she is trying to get invited. i am undecided on whether to invite her or not. if i dont she will almost be the only one that is not invited. idk.

Cutechef729 Posted: Feb 01, 2008 12:02 PM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

My mom and I have been talking about this lately. I'm getting married at the RH so I don't really want to do that because I think it will be like ok bye we're going to party. I think it is worse to just invite them to the ceremony so I agree with you.

bluegreen08 Posted: Feb 01, 2008 12:29 PM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

Posted by Cutechef729

My mom and I have been talking about this lately. I'm getting married at the RH so I don't really want to do that because I think it will be like ok bye we're going to party. I think it is worse to just invite them to the ceremony so I agree with you.

maybe it's a regional thing then -- glad to see everyone agrees with me

Dee0522 Posted: Feb 01, 2008 12:47 PM

Re: Inviting someone to the ceremony but not reception? (poll)

I'm extending an invite to the ceremony to some of my coworkers and BM's parents... my mom has come to see 2 of my good friends get married, but she wasn't invited to the reception.