Inviting to the Ceremony but not the Reception

HI Girls,

I work in a moderate size department (about 30 people) of a large scale university. We are very close and we are always celebrating something.

Sadly, I just can't afford to invite another 30 people with guests to the wedding, but several people have asked to attend the ceremony. With less than a month away until the wedding, I want to invite everyone to the ceremony. I was going to send out an email and put leftover invite cards (they list the ceremony only) in their mailboxes. But I am uncertain as to how I should word the email. Any suggestions?

In my experience as guest, BM, family member, etc., I have never seen people invited to the ceremony and not the reception. In fact, I've seen the opposite, if anything (like if there is a small ceremony venue, personal, family -- then you don't include the ceremony card, but invite everyone to 'celebrate your wedding' at the reception). I don't think I could invite people to see me get married and then not be able to actually celebrate the event. And, IMO, I wouldn't attend a ceremony if I wasn't invited to the celebration. The ceremony is for you and FH and family, the reception is for the guests (it's the fun part!!!) so I think it would be odd to invite people to ceremony and tell them 'I'd like you to see me get married, but that's it.'

It's a bit awkward . . . .

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Posted by ttw910

I think you could either spread the invite by word of mouth or a casual email. Just let everyone know where your church ceremony is, if they are interested in coming by.

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Yeah, that would work. I would go with 'word of mouth.' If you actually initiate the invite to the ceremony, it could appear as if you're trolling for gifts more than trying to include everyone. If you have a close friend at work, let them spread the word that you'd love if people wanted to come, that they would, but it was just not possible to include everyone in the reception . . . .

Honestly, even is one person says 'you know what? we should all go to the wedding and cheer our girl on!!!' it turns into a cool outing rather than an exclusionary thing or a slight against them not being invited to the reception

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Posted by lanamanitta

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Posted by ttw910

I think you could either spread the invite by word of mouth or a casual email. Just let everyone know where your church ceremony is, if they are interested in coming by.

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Yeah, that would work. I would go with 'word of mouth.' If you actually initiate the invite to the ceremony, it could appear as if you're trolling for gifts more than trying to include everyone. If you have a close friend at work, let them spread the word that you'd love if people wanted to come, that they would, but it was just not possible to include everyone in the reception . . . .

Honestly, even is one person says 'you know what? we should all go to the wedding and cheer our girl on!!!' it turns into a cool outing rather than an exclusionary thing or a slight against them not being invited to the reception

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See, the climate in my office isn't one of 'She is trolling for gifts' or 'She didn't invite me to the reception' It's more that people have asked if they can come to the church and they are looking forward to get information about it- so that isn't even an issue. They are also throwing me a shower for me and doing some other celebratory things.

That is why I am curious if I should make a casual email or something a little more touching.

My friend just got married and she invited co-workers to the ceremony but, not the reception and so did another co-worker of her's. Both of their ceremonies were at their RH's. When I first heard she was doing that I did think it was a little awkward, however it worked out fine. The people that really wanted to see her were happy to just be asked to the ceremony and understood that she just couldn't invite everyone in her building.
I believe she just spread the word.

Good luck!

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Posted by azailia

is the ceremony in a church... i dont know if you can invite people to the rh if they are not invited to the reception.

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No, it's in a church.

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Posted by MIssBridalBliss

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Posted by lanamanitta

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Posted by ttw910

I think you could either spread the invite by word of mouth or a casual email. Just let everyone know where your church ceremony is, if they are interested in coming by.

---

Yeah, that would work. I would go with 'word of mouth.' If you actually initiate the invite to the ceremony, it could appear as if you're trolling for gifts more than trying to include everyone. If you have a close friend at work, let them spread the word that you'd love if people wanted to come, that they would, but it was just not possible to include everyone in the reception . . . .

Honestly, even is one person says 'you know what? we should all go to the wedding and cheer our girl on!!!' it turns into a cool outing rather than an exclusionary thing or a slight against them not being invited to the reception

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See, the climate in my office isn't one of 'She is trolling for gifts' or 'She didn't invite me to the reception' It's more that people have asked if they can come to the church and they are looking forward to get information about it- so that isn't even an issue. They are also throwing me a shower for me and doing some other celebratory things.

That is why I am curious if I should make a casual email or something a little more touching.

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If you're getting that response, then go for it!!! They've made the 'first move' showing they want to be a part of it all and understanding the situation. LUCKY GIRL!!! You work with great people, so have them there!!!

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Posted by lanamanitta

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Posted by MIssBridalBliss

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Posted by lanamanitta

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Posted by ttw910

I think you could either spread the invite by word of mouth or a casual email. Just let everyone know where your church ceremony is, if they are interested in coming by.

---

Yeah, that would work. I would go with 'word of mouth.' If you actually initiate the invite to the ceremony, it could appear as if you're trolling for gifts more than trying to include everyone. If you have a close friend at work, let them spread the word that you'd love if people wanted to come, that they would, but it was just not possible to include everyone in the reception . . . .

Honestly, even is one person says 'you know what? we should all go to the wedding and cheer our girl on!!!' it turns into a cool outing rather than an exclusionary thing or a slight against them not being invited to the reception

---

See, the climate in my office isn't one of 'She is trolling for gifts' or 'She didn't invite me to the reception' It's more that people have asked if they can come to the church and they are looking forward to get information about it- so that isn't even an issue. They are also throwing me a shower for me and doing some other celebratory things.

That is why I am curious if I should make a casual email or something a little more touching.

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If you're getting that response, then go for it!!! They've made the 'first move' showing they want to be a part of it all and understanding the situation. LUCKY GIRL!!! You work with great people, so have them there!!!

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Thanks! :)

i had a similar situation. i basically spread the word through word of mouth and by e-mail and only listed the church information so it was obvious that it was ceremony only.

I also posted my invitation in the mail room (where we all go at some point during the day!) for them to see.

it worked out fine and everyone understood! you just can't invite everyone!

I invited my class of 2nd graders to our ceremony and I just made up a little flyer to go home with the information.

Another woman I work with did this too for the staff- just put them in everyone's boxes.

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Posted by MIssBridalBliss

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Posted by lanamanitta

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Posted by ttw910

I think you could either spread the invite by word of mouth or a casual email. Just let everyone know where your church ceremony is, if they are interested in coming by.

---

Yeah, that would work. I would go with 'word of mouth.' If you actually initiate the invite to the ceremony, it could appear as if you're trolling for gifts more than trying to include everyone. If you have a close friend at work, let them spread the word that you'd love if people wanted to come, that they would, but it was just not possible to include everyone in the reception . . . .

Honestly, even is one person says 'you know what? we should all go to the wedding and cheer our girl on!!!' it turns into a cool outing rather than an exclusionary thing or a slight against them not being invited to the reception

---

See, the climate in my office isn't one of 'She is trolling for gifts' or 'She didn't invite me to the reception' It's more that people have asked if they can come to the church and they are looking forward to get information about it- so that isn't even an issue. They are also throwing me a shower for me and doing some other celebratory things.

That is why I am curious if I should make a casual email or something a little more touching.

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I think you can send an email or something along those lines - you can say, if anyone would like to see you get married, the ceremony is at ......, and as long as they all understand why they arent invited to the reception.

I work in an elementary school and we do this all the time.

We 'post' an invitation on the bulletin board in the main office and anyone who would like to attend the ceremony comes to that and then leaves right after.