involvement

How do I get my FI to be involved with our wedding plans? We both get home late from work so trying to check out reception halls together is going to be my biggest challenge. I don't want to go without him, but If I want to see more than two I just must have to. Any help with this? Did you have to bribe your FH??

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I can't relate exactly. Matt is and has always been very involved. He even posts on here ALL the time. You will get to meet him. I do now how hard it is to have to rush to appointments everynight in the beginning. My job is not as flexible as Matt' so I was usually the problem.

Have a serious tak with him and tell him how important it is to you that he is involved. Ask him what he pictures his wedding to be like. Point out the things that he may be interested in for the reception hall. Give him specific things to be in 'charge' of. Liquor choices and things like that. Once you get him to a few places he may like it. Just remember you don't have to do it all at once and that it is supposed to be fun.

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We went to see alot of places on weekends when we were looking.
Call ahead and ask when they do not have a function and/or the best time to come on those days. You'd be surprised how they can accomodate you. We saw 10 halls, all on the weekend!

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My FH and I had to split up sometimes when we looked at halls because our schedules are often different. If we saw one that we really liked we would go back together to check it out. At least we could weed out some of the halls that we definately did not like when we went separately. Then we would narrow it down to several different halls at the end from each other's description and check out those halls together.

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I have the same problem because of my FHs work schedule. I am dying to go look at places so my FMIL wants to come with me during the week and then my FH can come along once I have narrowed it down a bit. Should I go with FMIL? I want the experience to be something that my FH and I do together.

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If you get along well with your FMIL then it can't hurt. If not her opinions may get on your nerves. Just something to think about!

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I thought about going with my FMIL but I really wanted this to be our decision, and not to listen to her comments, so we brought the parents after we decided which hall. If your FH tells you he wants you to decide then it might be a nice idea to bring along your FMIL so you have another opinion, especially if you get along well.

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I took my best friend and her 2 year old, I think that softened the price a little bit. Everyone likes babies! and she was sooo good. I went to a bunch of them over a weeks time and then narrowed it down to 3, took my sister(acting mom of the bride) and then took FH and FMIL. Otherwise Fh is very involved in everything!

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My FH and I went to see reception halls together usually over weekends and fortunately, we had a few days off together. Jennbaby is right-if they know that you are interested, they will accomodate you.

I was actually surprised at how involved the wanted to be...he loved going to band showcases, even picked up a business card from a band we liked at a friend's wedding. At the limo places, he wanted to sit in all of the cars-a kid in a candy store! And he loved picking food on the menu.

Keep it fun-I think you'll find there are things he'll want to be involved in. Give yourself plenty of time to space out the tasks and make decisions you are happy with.


Happy planning!!

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Michael wanted to be involved but unfortunately 12 hour night shifts does not allow for a whole lot of time. . . My mother and I hit 10 different halls in 3 days and then I presented him with the info on the ones I REALLY liked . . .The info went around to everyone in his family and mine and they all agree with me on The Crest Hollow and he liked it too so he said yes. . .He has full control over tuxes and limos. and the honeymoon . .he picks it and have to book. . and part of the music list . . .Narrow down the Halls and then have him go to 2 or 3 to make the final decision! It'll work out

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I had a heck of a time with him. He thought I was doing everything 'too early', 'too detailed', 'too nervous', etc. Now w. 15 days to go HE is finally panicking!

I think all FH are different - with one thing in common. No matter how wonderful they are, NONE of them are quite as obsessed as their brides! I researched places on the internet first - websites, chat boards, books from the library - you'll be surprised how many places you can rule out with a simpe phone call - maximum head count is too low, place is too far away , etc. Then I narrowed it down to 10 places. I went to them all - took it down to5 and then dragged him with a pot of starbucks one Saturday. And he was miserable the whole time. Wouldn't look around, wouldn't ask questions, wouldnt' take off his coat...and then we walked into Oheka and he said 'okay let's do it here' and that was it. I have basically been on my own ever since! He helped w. the photographer........

All I can say is good luck and bring your patience - you'll find yourself very envious of the girls w. the involved FH'S! (like our Matt! The resident male bride! )

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I can't relate either.. Todd has been involved from even before we got engaged...He helped find our florist, videographer.. he's great about everything and he does all the dirty work too lol

Re: involvement

Hi .

I totally agree with Jenny 11.9. I did the exact same thing. I made alot of phone calls, searched the net, did all types of research before I narrowed my search down.

It seems as though you are going to have to do all of the legwork yourself first.

A phone call really saves you alot of time. I was able to rule out places based on cost, minimums, menu selection, location etc.

Once you narrow your list to less than ten, then start to take him to look at places.

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Planning a wedding and working full time is very difficult. I want to propose a new Law 'Bridal Leave Act'. We get off 9 months, full pay of course, to plan our weddings. It is only fair!

Scott is involved in parts of the planning and not at all in others. He didn't care about the flowers and I did not need him to. He did care about the band, photographers, videographers and favors. I will say that he also cared when I asked him to, meaning he deep down inside didn't care but since I needed his opinion or help he found an opinion.

Sit down and discuss with your FI how you feel. Ask him what are his priorities and what does he really not worry about. Then work out a schedule. Try to see a bunch of halls on one weekend. That will help you free up your weekday nights, and you can see the hall all set up for a wedding.

But in the end the majority of brides work a lot hardier (not including Matt) than most of the grooms. If it were up to the guys, there would be beer, and a wide screen HDTV set up in the reception room.

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My fiance was very involved with finding a reception site. I researched places on the internet and called about room min/max numbers and then we took a couple of weekends to go and check the places out. He also came along to llok at photographers, videographers and limos. Other than that I have done all the planning which I don't mind.

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Here is what I did:

Narrowed it down to like 10 sites. A few we saw on the way to somewhere else in the area (i.e. on the way to his parents house), and then 7 or 8 we saw in one long day ==> basically left the house at 8am and didn't come back till 8pm, I drew a map and made appt's so that we wouldn't be circling too much, and we ended up going in a fairy straight line with a few detours... But then it was all over in one day.... He was pretty happy...

Re: involvement

Thanks for your advice - I have some great ideas, I just wish is was not football season