Irish Joke--

An Irishman had been drinking at the pub all night.

The bartender finally said that the bar is closing.

So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face.

He tried to stand one more time; same result.

He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face.

So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home.


When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face.

He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.

This time he managed to pull himself upright,

but he quickly fell right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting,

'So, you've been out drinking and home drunk again!!'

What makes you say that?' he asked, putting on an innocent look.

'The pub called........
You left your wheelchair there again.'


One of the funniest I've seen yet!

that is great ..

that is soooo funny!!!!

Here's another one:

Irish Joke

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in.'