I feel weddings are social events so wanted to invite those co-workers with whom I socialize outside of work. Coincidentally, all are women so basically I'm inviting just the women in my group (plus my male boss).
Now, about 6 months ago another woman joined our company and although doesn't work directly with me, she works VERY closely with 3 of the women I'm inviting. This new employee is about my age and super nice. We are on a 'hi, how was your weekend?' basis, and that's it.
Question: do I invite her? She will be the only female in our group who isn't invited and everyone she works with is invited. I could invite her only (no guest) but I am not sure. If she were getting married in 2 months, I would not expect an invite.
Suggestions? Thoughts?
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
I can see why you're torn -- you're nice and you don't want to hurt her feelings. But your wedding is not a company party where everyone's invited! I think she should understand why she's not getting an invite. However, I know that I would still be worried that I hurt her feelings. I think I would mention it to the women in the group so that if the topic comes up whenever you're not around, they can assure her that it's not personal.
Kricket212
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
I would say yes, I understsand how you feel but whats one more person. You are prob going to get a few no's. I think we all do. I say invite her because it may be really awkward otherwise.
AR31
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
i started a new job 3 months before my wedding.. and i invited my boss and this other lady i work with.. my boss came alone (though I invited her with a guest) and didn't stay for the reception.. but the other lady politely declined.. so i would say yes.. invite her b/c it's just a formality and courtesy and chances are she will not take you up on it..
MyFairLaLa
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
Yes you should invite her.
Sorry to say it, but you'll have to take the all or none policy here. Since you're inviting everyone else, it's rude NOT to invite her. She will probably politely decline since she doesn't know you all too well, but if you end up leaving her out you'll end up shifting the mood of the department and make her feel bad--you may not feel the effects of something like that right away, but there definitely will be an undercurrent later on.
MJDoc12
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
honestly--i wouldn't invite her. just cause she's close with the others doesn't mean you have to invite her.
if she isn't that close to YOU -- then i don't think its a pressure to invite her. maybe i'm just different, but i never felt 'pressure' to invite anyone -- it was simple for me....'do i want this person at my wedding? yes or no' if you aren't feeling it 100% it--i wouldn't invite her.
DCW 2008
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
SInce it is only one, I would invite her. Maybe she will decline. JMO
misswitty
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
I'm dealing with the same thing - I socialize with three out of 10 people i work closely with outside of our work. It's difficult. I'd say, don't invite. It happens all the time in the workplace and usually the 'new' people aren't offended, if they're the type of person who understands! Good luck!
stelli821
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
A few years ago, I had been working at a company for about six months and everyone in my department was invited except me! I was fairly new and she was pretty close with everyone else. I was a little hurt, but it wasn't a huge deal. So, if she's nice (like I was), she might be a little hurt, but it's not a big deal if you don't. She'll understand.
pa56
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
Posted by stelli821
A few years ago, I had been working at a company for about six months and everyone in my department was invited except me! I was fairly new and she was pretty close with everyone else. I was a little hurt, but it wasn't a huge deal. So, if she's nice (like I was), she might be a little hurt, but it's not a big deal if you don't. She'll understand.
This is my exact issue! And to top it all off, this new employee is Indian and I'm having an indian wedding. I think she would have fun since it's the same culture and she could even explain some stuff to our colleauges. I think I will wait and see how many no's I get, and then will eventually invite this new employee. She's new now, but won't be for long so don't want to create tension!
Thanks everyone for your advice!
pa56
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
Posted by AR31
i started a new job 3 months before my wedding.. and i invited my boss and this other lady i work with.. my boss came alone (though I invited her with a guest) and didn't stay for the reception.. but the other lady politely declined.. so i would say yes.. invite her b/c it's just a formality and courtesy and chances are she will not take you up on it..
Honestly, I don't think she'd decline. The wedding and reception site are VERY close to her home and she's indian (I'm having an indian wedding) so I'm sure she would love to come and experience the same culture.
mls282
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
I would mention it to the other ladies and see what they say. to avoid hurt feelings it wouldn't hurt to invite her.... she most likely won't come.... but then again you never know
pa56
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
Posted by mls282
I would mention it to the other ladies and see what they say. to avoid hurt feelings it wouldn't hurt to invite her.... she most likely won't come.... but then again you never know
I just asked one of the co-workers and she told me not to feel obligated but if she were me, she's send an invite. It's just one more person. I really think she'll come.
FutureMrsF2010
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
Inviting her would be a nice gesture. If the two of you are truely not friends, maybe she won't go, but at least they'll be no tension in the office after the fact.
pa56
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
Posted by FutureMrsF2010
Inviting her would be a nice gesture. If the two of you are truely not friends, maybe she won't go, but at least they'll be no tension in the office after the fact.
So true. The fact that I see her everyday at work and didn't invite her might create some unneccesary tension.
yswedding
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
Posted by pa56
Posted by FutureMrsF2010
Inviting her would be a nice gesture. If the two of you are truely not friends, maybe she won't go, but at least they'll be no tension in the office after the fact.
So true. The fact that I see her everyday at work and didn't invite her might create some unneccesary tension.
Exactly, this is why I would invite her. But if she has any sense she wont show.
Caramelatta
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
I would say invite her but with no guest b/c she wont be out numbered she is going to be with all of ur coworkers. So id say go for it
pa56
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
Posted by Caramelatta
I would say invite her but with no guest b/c she wont be out numbered she is going to be with all of ur coworkers. So id say go for it
This is what I am going to do. She is the only co-worker I am inviting without a guest, but that's life! There's no way she's getting a +1 since I've known her for only 6 months.
KimberlyScott
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
I would invite her too. You wouldn't want any hard feeling with a co-worker, if she exoected an invite and didn;t get one.
Jessiegrl
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Re: Is inviting 5 out of 6 co-workers a bad idea?
I would invite her. It's one more person, you don't want hard feelings
