Is it depression....

I don't think you really need an answer. I think you know yourself that you are depressed. The good news is that there is an easy fix to your problem -- get out of that hellacious living situation right away! From the sound of it, it will improve your relationship with your FH, his family, and yourself. Good luck!

my best advice...go see a doctor.
It sounds like you are homesick and it is spiralling downward with your living situation...maybe it is time to move!

I am of the opinion that if you think you might be, you should seek counciling. Even if you are not 'clinically' depressed it seems as though you are under immense pressure/stress which can do all sorts of terrible things to a person and it may help to talk to someone objective.

Here is an article about depression on WebMD

as a woman who is right there with you (i live with my in-laws and have since May of 03)


I can't even cook without them 'looking at me'

But they aren't mean or anything, I just don't feel right. My family is over 1700 miles away.

I say you need to de-stress. Weight gain is also stress related, but if you want to, see a doctor about depression.

Otherwise, I'd say find some outlets. I am NEVER in that house alone without Jim. I couldnt handle it. I go out to Barnes and Noble and read. Im working late right now because Jim is and I don't want to go home. I find joy in Jim and what WE are but its annoying to live under someone else's rules. I am used to living on my OWN.

I wanna walk around in my underwear!! heh

Remember the reasons you're there, work to your goals you've set and dang it woman..


PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK

most women would NEVER deal with what you're dealing with. Give yourself some credit. You've moved in and had to adjust, it's never easy but your gonna be his wife. You're sacrificing. Family relationships take time (I paid rent while being his WIFE for nearly a year!).

Give yourself some good vibes and I think that will help. Come out with me and we can waste time together and bS about the living conditions hahaha

I also do think we need to get out of here as soon as possible, but with paying for this wedding it is not easy to start looking for house or even an apartment. I told my FI as soon as we get back from our honeymoon that we need to either start saving again for a house or find an apartment to rent. I told him that this will get us a divorce before we are even married if we don't face this head on.
I should start looking into someone to talk to ....thanks girls!

I'm so sorry. I don't have anything encouraging to say about your situation. Usually when your radar is up, there's no doubt something going on to promote it. Try to stay away from that environment as long as you can throughout the day. It's definitely understandable that you would be homesick, especially for the holidays. But anyone would be under stress living with their inlaws, especially if they feel scrutinized.

---

Posted by kimmiekakes

I also do think we need to get out of here as soon as possible, but with paying for this wedding it is not easy to start looking for house or even an apartment. I told my FI as soon as we get back from our honeymoon that we need to either start saving again for a house or find an apartment to rent. I told him that this will get us a divorce before we are even married if we don't face this head on.
I should start looking into someone to talk to ....thanks girls!

---

Yep thats why I moved in.. to save money

ya gotta remember there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Good luck! Im always around to talk if you wanna share..cause I am 'so there'. haha

I went through the same thing with DH mother.....it could be more of an unhappiness than depression. Mine was also stemming from an unhappy childhood.

Talk to your FH and definitely seek prfessional help

---

Posted by kimmiekakes

I also do think we need to get out of here as soon as possible, but with paying for this wedding it is not easy to start looking for house or even an apartment. I told my FI as soon as we get back from our honeymoon that we need to either start saving again for a house or find an apartment to rent. I told him that this will get us a divorce before we are even married if we don't face this head on.
I should start looking into someone to talk to ....thanks girls!

---

The stress of you planning and paying for the wedding is probably also adding to your inability to fall asleep and eating issues. Once the wedding is over, you can concentrate on trying to save for an apt and getting out of there. Try to take things one step at a time. We all go through 'funks.' If you think it's more than a funk, then I suggest seeing someone as well. Good luck!

I totally agree with what everyone is saying. You need to take care of yourself right now (go to a doctor, de stress etc.). Hopefully as you said the situation will improve after the wedding.

Are you and your FI paying entirely for your wedding?

Here is my advice, why not take the $$$ you are putting towards the wedding and buy a house.

We moved in together and rented for a little over a year, then bought a house together, then got engage, then married. I have to tell you, the best decision we ever made was to buy the house first.

Why don't you just force yourself to hit the gym?

It sounds to me like... the more you hit the gym equals... the more you are out of the house... which equals less time you have to deal with the future in-laws.

I think that would be motivation enough for me if I was in your shoes.