Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

checka Posted: Jul 18, 2004 10:03 PM

Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

I was always very shy and uncomfortable around people but in HS and college I made friends. I have, unfortunately, lost touch with most them over the past few years, especially since I moved from Bklyn to LI 4 years ago. Everyone is now scattered around NY, NJ and VA and several have babies which take up a lot of their time. It's so hard to find people now that I click with like that. I am friendly with people at work but we don't click the way my school friends and I clicked. Where do you meet new friends as an adult?

matron Posted: Jul 18, 2004 10:06 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

on LIW!

I always depend on work. I'm unemployed right now.

prncssrachel Posted: Jul 18, 2004 10:10 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

Well, I made a lot of my friends at work and even quite a few good friends from this site. I think you have to be open to new things and situations. I totally understand though. I think when we moved to Massachusetts and I had to start from scratch, not knowing a soul besides JT, it really made me come out of my shell. And when I moved back to LI, I had to remind myself not to fall back into patterns, but to keep that same open mind I had in MA.

september2004 Posted: Jul 18, 2004 10:12 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

anywhere and everywhere, it just takes longer to form the relationships...

beachgirl13 Posted: Jul 18, 2004 10:14 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

It is hard to meet new people. I became good friends with a girl at work. Also, when I had a house in FI I made friends with people that way. Two of the girls that were in the house are now my very good friends!

denakimou Posted: Jul 18, 2004 10:50 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

I make most of my firends at work. It seems that the older Ihave gooten, 30, the more involved we have gotten on marriage, work and home. We have left ( at least the group of friends I have) our friendships take the back seat (if any seat at all). It's kind of sad!

btrflygrl Posted: Jul 19, 2004 01:42 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

I was crying about this last night ( we jsut moved from NY to GA) and all I have is DH sister and her family (husband and 2 little boys). I'm not good at making friends and I miss my NY friends terribly.

Robeymuse Posted: Jul 19, 2004 01:47 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

This is my life. I moved here about a year ago and I am finding it harder to make friends now. I met a couple of people from work, but since this is DH's hometown, I know most people through him...

Irishbride Posted: Jul 19, 2004 01:54 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

Yes I think its hard as an adult to make new friends. I had a hard time growing up making friends. I moved to this country when I was 18 - I didnt know anyone apart from my Aunt. Thankfully now I have a few very close friends.

nov04LIbride Posted: Jul 19, 2004 02:05 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

Definitely! I moved to Long Island after college, and some friends at work...None as close as my college friends, but that is also because I lived with those people for four years. I met some good friends on here...This is good because we are all for the most part at the same stage in our lives--many of FH's friends are still wild singles--I would rather spend a night with a few other couples than at a singles bar...

no stress bride Posted: Jul 19, 2004 02:40 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

Posted by nov04LIbride

Definitely! I moved to Long Island after college, and some friends at work...None as close as my college friends, but that is also because I lived with those people for four years. I met some good friends on here...This is good because we are all for the most part at the same stage in our lives--many of FH's friends are still wild singles--I would rather spend a night with a few other couples than at a singles bar...

I agree with u Beth!!!

no stress bride Posted: Jul 19, 2004 02:40 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

Posted by btrflygrl

I was crying about this last night ( we jsut moved from NY to GA) and all I have is DH sister and her family (husband and 2 little boys). I'm not good at making friends and I miss my NY friends terribly.

How are things going Shana??? How is the house?? We need more pictures!!!

kdelace Posted: Jul 19, 2004 03:54 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

it is difficult making friends when you're older. many of my friends i did meet at work (im a teacher) i like meeting new people.. thats why im on here and i was married almost 6 months ago!!!

ChristineC68 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 04:18 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

It's harder for me also. I have found that I don't have that much patience and nearly zero tolerance for bull$hit or self created drama or what not from friends so if it happens with someone I have not invested years of friendship I have even less.

I am also not really in situations that foster friendships - I work alone in my office, I don't go to school or take classes or really anything that builds that commaraderie that builds friendship.

I did meet several wonderful people through LIW and another website where we had the common bond of say weddings (from LIW) that moved beyond that to real life.

tracyg Posted: Jul 19, 2004 05:20 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

i'm not good at meeting people. I am painfully shy and insecure and think that no one likes me. lol
and when i make friends i have to tolerance for B-S either. i stopped being friends with my high school friends becaus ethey wouldn't grow up after HS and were catty, petty, drama queen beotches. so i cut them loose.
i also can't take high maintenance friends ('why didn't you call?' blah blah)
my friends right now i met through DH, but a lot of htem are out of town so we don't get to hang out all that much.
the people i work with are much older than me so i'm not friendly with them outside of work.

butterfly20 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 07:22 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

i actually find it easier now than earlier... ive met people through this website with gtg's, and now at my new fulltime job..

antoinette Posted: Jul 19, 2004 07:31 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

Posted by tracyg

i'm not good at meeting people. I am painfully shy and insecure and think that no one likes me. lol
and when i make friends i have to tolerance for B-S either. i stopped being friends with my high school friends becaus ethey wouldn't grow up after HS and were catty, petty, drama queen beotches. so i cut them loose.
i also can't take high maintenance friends ('why didn't you call?' blah blah)
my friends right now i met through DH, but a lot of htem are out of town so we don't get to hang out all that much.
the people i work with are much older than me so i'm not friendly with them outside of work.

This is me 100%.. I wish it were easier for me I find it very difficult to make friends in general and even hard as I get older.

Val R. Posted: Jul 19, 2004 07:41 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

I have been thinking the same thing lately... not that there is anything wrong with the great friends we already have, I love them all dearly!!! But it would be nice to have someone new to get to know!! As a matter of fact, I just came back in from meeting the new couple next door!! They are our age I think, so you never know!! They were really nice & they signed on for the block party!!!

bride082003 Posted: Jul 19, 2004 07:46 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

NICELY SAID! We are way out of high school so if I meet someone who has that high school attitude, I don't invest any time. It's a bit harder to do on those friendships I have invested time in then somehow this behavior comes out. But I have zero patience for it. I have very little time for things these days and don't want to waste time on such BS. Id rather have a few very close friends then many not so close :)

Posted by ChristineC68

It's harder for me also. I have found that I don't have that much patience and nearly zero tolerance for bull$hit or self created drama or what not from friends so if it happens with someone I have not invested years of friendship I have even less.

I am also not really in situations that foster friendships - I work alone in my office, I don't go to school or take classes or really anything that builds that commaraderie that builds friendship.

I did meet several wonderful people through LIW and another website where we had the common bond of say weddings (from LIW) that moved beyond that to real life.

ETA: but to answer the question, yes it is so much harder to make friends!! I try to make them at work, but its hard with all the different age ranges.

janwinterbridejoy Posted: Jul 19, 2004 08:22 PM

Re: Is it just me or is it difficult to make new friends as an adult.

i totally agree its so hard to form friendships at this age. im pretty new to long island and most of my friends are in queens still and you would think levittown was another planet lol. my poor dh and mom there is only so many times there both willing to be dragged to the malls with me lol.