Is it normal.....

shopaholic07 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:29 AM

Is it normal.....

for married couples to take personal trips/vacations seperate from each other? I already posted this on the '07 board and I thought I would post on here to see what the married ladies thought about this.....

Joeswife1106 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:39 AM

Re: Is it normal.....

I personally wouldn't and don't really think it's 'normal', but that's just my opinion.

SweetCin704 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:17 AM

Re: Is it normal.....

Personally I don't think so, except if it was to visit family and/or a fishing/hunting/golf trip, but not an all out vacation to Cancun or something.

ewickens Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:26 AM

Re: Is it normal.....

It depends. DH wouldn't like to take vacations without me, but for instance, he's going on vacation this weekend for 4 days on an annual trip he takes with his father, but I'm not going. I was invited, but it's not something I'm 'into' doing, so I made plans with my friends to get together.

Long vacations we always spend with one another - no exception. And neither one of us would go away without the other.

ali120206 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:37 AM

Re: Is it normal.....

I agree with Betsy, it depends.

We go on separate trips from time to time, most are 2-3 nights in length and are separate 'guys' trips and 'girls' trips. DH does go away for a week in the winter skiing (I really don't ski and can't see giving up a week of vacation and spending all of that $$ for something I don't love - I'd rather hit the beach!)

We do make a point to go on trips together. We have a timeshare and a condo in Myrtle Beach so this helps to ensure that we do take a vacation together each year. We also have a tradition of going to the Jersey Shore with friends each year.

rafiki Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:52 AM

Re: Is it normal.....

I think short trips are fine. My hubby and his friends go to Vegas every year for the Superbowl, usually Friday night-Monday afternoon. I have no problem with it. I hate football but would not keep him from spending the weekend with his pals.

In the past, I would plan a girls weekend for the same weekend but now that all of my friends have babies, no one is free. I look at Superbowl weekend as a nice retreat for myself at home!! LOL.

October Bliss Posted: Aug 06, 2007 12:33 PM

Re: Is it normal.....

Everyone's 'normal' is different. I went away on business for 4 days in June w/o DH even though he was welcome to come with me. Before we got engaged I went to Australia for a month w/o him. After we got engaged he went to the US Open in the Carolinas someplace for a week without me.

Now that we are expecting our first I doubt either of us would go anywhere without the other, but you never know what the future holds.

evnme Posted: Aug 06, 2007 05:43 PM

Re: Is it normal.....

i have professional conventions i go to 2-3x per year and DH cant take the time off from work to go w/ me. (he would also be bored out of his mind if he went w/ me)

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Aug 06, 2007 06:46 PM

Re: Is it normal.....

Posted by October Bliss

Everyone's 'normal' is different.

Darlene's totally right.

DH and I have been away separately. Last January, MIL wanted to take us skiing - I couldn't go because of work, but he wanted to go so badly, there was no way I was going to tell him not to go.

While he studied for the bar, my momma took me to Italy for two weeks.

However, I think that we were so comfortable with these trips because we were both with our mommies.

LitBallerinaGirl Posted: Aug 06, 2007 09:46 PM

Re: Is it normal.....

I don't think that anyone can say whether or not it is normal. Normal is what you and DH make out of your relationship. What is important is that you and DH are on the same page.
DH and I do lots of things separately. Around one weekend a month DH and I do have a separate weekend. ex) Next weekend he is going to Atlantic City with some friends and I wasn't even invited.
I'm totally ok with it. I have shopping plans in Bridgehamptom with friends

I know couples that do everything together. If they agree that is the way they want to live their lives then that is fine.

jtgarsik Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:29 PM

Re: Is it normal.....

Posted by LitBallerinaGirl

I don't think that anyone can say whether or not it is normal. Normal is what you and DH make out of your relationship. What is important is that you and DH are on the same page.
DH and I do lots of things separately. Around one weekend a month DH and I do have a separate weekend. ex) Next weekend he is going to Atlantic City with some friends and I wasn't even invited.
I'm totally ok with it. I have shopping plans in Bridgehamptom with friends

I know couples that do everything together. If they agree that is the way they want to live their lives then that is fine.

totally right! the bottom line is that YOU have to be comfortable and so is your FH....if there's something you don't feel comfortable with - speak up! that's what marraige is all about, and he has the same right. You can't really listen to what other people tell you is 'normal' or 'okay'...is has to be what you feel & what your gut is saying to you and your FH. communication!!! IT'S WAY TO IMPORTANT BEYOND WORDS! this is a great issue to bring up BEFORE your married so there's no issues just be on the same page

BRod-Cheng Posted: Aug 06, 2007 10:32 PM

Re: Is it normal.....

When we were dating DH always met up with his friends out west for a snowboarding weekend every year. He always invited me, but I don't like cold weather, and I don't snowboard, so I never went.

This winter (our first one after the wedding) he again went on his weekend trip without me. Since he was going to be gone anyway, my girlfriend and I took a weekend trip to the Carribean.

I don't know that we will continue do it every year. I didn't consider it a 'vacation.' Just a small weekend where we each did our own thing.

We were both fine with it, and had a great time once we were back home together again.

milerose Posted: Aug 07, 2007 09:51 AM

Re: Is it normal.....

Yes I think it is totally normal. I feel that just because you are married it does not mean that you cannot have a life outside your husband. For example my DH friend lives in California and he is going to visit him and hang out there for a few days I would never object to this!

JMO

Goldi1021 Posted: Aug 07, 2007 11:11 AM

Re: Is it normal.....

DH has been going away every labor day weekend with his friends for his Fantasy Football draft. It has taken him all over the country and they tend to make a min-vacation out of it. None of the women go with their SOs. He is a big boy. He can do what he wants. If he was doing this before I was around, he should continue well after. Unless I was about to deliver a baby, he can do what he wants.

lisad117 Posted: Aug 08, 2007 12:20 AM

Re: Is it normal.....

I agree that normal is whatever works for the two of you and what you are comfortable with.
We both do the occassional 'girls' or 'boys' weekends with our friends but we take long vacations with each other.

cjb88 Posted: Aug 08, 2007 11:58 PM

Re: Is it normal.....

Posted by October Bliss

Everyone's 'normal' is different. I went away on business for 4 days in June w/o DH even though he was welcome to come with me. Before we got engaged I went to Australia for a month w/o him. After we got engaged he went to the US Open in the Carolinas someplace for a week without me.

Now that we are expecting our first I doubt either of us would go anywhere without the other, but you never know what the future holds.

I agree... everyones normal is different... DH wanted to go camping at the begining of the summer... i didnt want to go, so he went with out me (with my blessing of course) I also went away for a week for something with work... as much as i love him, i also enjoy my alone time as well... i would have a problem if he didnt invite me or just went without discussing it first with me...

kissy27 Posted: Aug 09, 2007 08:40 AM

Re: Is it normal.....

I honestly don't see anything wrong with it! For me, DH can not get off as much time as I can. Usually I use my time when he is working & I am off to visit my family who is OOT. I have gone away for a week at a time. I think you have to be in 'agreeance' with your spouse that it is alright!

My DH is going to Vegas in April with his brother, cousins & uncles to celebrate his cousin's 21st birthday! I have no objection to it!

Then again, I also was raised in a household where after I was done with college, my dad retired. We have a summer place in Maine. My dad started to split his time 6 months here & 6 months there! The 6 months he was away, my mom was home working & enjoying her 'freedom' as she called it. So I don't see anything wrong with it!