Is it ok if ...

...if I tell my mom and BP that I don't want a shower??

There have been so many issues between both families - some because of the wedding and others just because - that I really don't want to have to deal with it surfacing before the actual day if I can avoid it.

I know that I should trust that everyone will behave as adults, but so far they have not.

of course it is!
It's your wedding, your shower... if you don't want it, you don't have to have it.

Sure, if you don't want a shower you don't have to have one. Your family might insist on having something or they might think you're kidding. Tell it to them straight and I'm sure they'll get the hint.

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Posted by diamondgrlie

If that is what you want, then tell them but they may do it anyway depending on your family and friends.

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I agree

Sorry you have to go through this!

My friend had the same issue and she had two showers. They were smaller affairs - a brunch for her FH's side and a dessert-only evening shower for her family. It worked out well, as the families preferred that way and she felt much less stressed. And it wound up being cheaper than one big party.

But ultimately it is your wedding - so whatever you want goes, and if you don't want a bridal shower, that you don't have to have one!

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Posted by lorsin

Sorry you have to go through this!

My friend had the same issue and she had two showers. They were smaller affairs - a brunch for her FH's side and a dessert-only evening shower for her family. It worked out well, as the families preferred that way and she felt much less stressed. And it wound up being cheaper than one big party.

But ultimately it is your wedding - so whatever you want goes, and if you don't want a bridal shower, that you don't have to have one!

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I was going to suggest the same thing! 2 separate smaller-scale showers would work... But if you are really opposed to one, you certainly don't have to have one!

Thanks for all the replies and support.

FH's family really wouldn't throw one for me; but certainly complain if my side threw one and didn't invite them. I do think that no shower would be the best route.

Thanks again.

I totally know what you're going through....my mom and dad really don't get along neither do their respective sides of the family and I knew it would be a nightmare planning a shower so I told my MOH not to have one. Because she is the greatest friend she somehow figured out a way to incorporate everyone, and so far all seem fairly satisfied. Plus, she has managed to still keep it a surprise from me. I'll let you all know when it happens how it went.

My advice to you is if you truly don't want one that's fine and tell them that. If you want one, but you just don't want to deal with the family drama...there has to be way you can all arrange it. I truly feel if my family was able to pull it off anyone can (although I don't know your situation)

Good Luck!!!!!