Is it really 50/50????, yours , other people's

When people look at you and your fh/dh's relationship -what impression are you giving off?

I know with my husband, people can tell that we are BOTH equally dominate in the relationship, we both wear the pants.

We have friends or people we have met, and we can always tell who dominates the relationship. Sometimes it is the girl who does all the talking and decision making and the guy just nods his head, or it is the woman who is ALWAYS deferring to the man.

Do you guys notice this???

I don't know what people's impressions are of mine & DH's relationship nor do I really care. How ever we decide things or come to agreements is no one else's business.

And just because someone does all the talking doesn't mean they are doing all the deciding

When other people look at us, I would think they see Doug as 'wearing the pants'
When we are out in social situations he is the one who makes the plans and always dominates the conversations. I think its because am a little shy.

However when it comes to other more important issues, such as money and things like that, I am the dominant one. Unfortunatley it cannot be 50/50. If he had his way we would be broke.

People definitely think I wear the pants becasue I have a domineering personalit, meaning I am direct and kinda no nonse. But that is becasue that is how i have to be at work and dealing with people sometimes. It is kinda funny because in my relationship I am not like that at all. It is the only place I really let the estrogen flow.........lol.......and I am a TOTAL girly girl

eta - about that domineering personality thing, it doesn't help that I am 6 feet tall........

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Posted by ChristineC68

I don't know what people's impressions are of mine & DH's relationship nor do I really care. How ever we decide things or come to agreements is no one else's business.

And just because someone does all the talking doesn't mean they are doing all the deciding

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This is more of a fun thread- not to be taken too seriously.

people think he's whipped he's getting better though hehe.

My husband is the leader in my family, I don't know what people think of us, he is quiet and I am talkative. I have never thought of this. He wears the pants and I support him.

I asked this question because we were having dinner with another couple and we were both like, well she takes care of this, while I do this, and we kept going back and forth about how we both contribute to the relationship.

Just had me thinking- thats all.

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Posted by nrvbrd

I asked this question because we were having dinner with another couple and we were both like, well she takes care of this, while I do this, and we kept going back and forth about how we both contribute to the relationship.

Just had me thinking- thats all.

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We both have areas that one is stronger in etc. So he or I will handle that. Does not make any of us of less importance in the decision making process.

I never really thought about how people see us, but thinking about it now I guess we're 50/50. I know I have a strong personality, I do all the talking and FH will let me lead, but when he wants something his way, he usually will get it.

I remember when we first started dating there were a few incidents where one of my girlfriends was surprised that I put up with him, because I had completely dominated in most of my other relationships and it was surprising to her to see me compromise!

That's also how I knew he was the 'one'

I definately wear the pants so to speak.

I know that a lot of his more immature friends think that hes whipped, but its not like that at all. I think I am a better decision maker and he looks to me for that. As far as social situations, he takes the lead because he is more outgoing than I am, I am way more shy.

My dh is the type of man who kinda needs to be told what to do or else it will not get done so he knows it doesnt come from a bad place, he knows he needs it. LOL

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Posted by shamma

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Posted by nrvbrd

I asked this question because we were having dinner with another couple and we were both like, well she takes care of this, while I do this, and we kept going back and forth about how we both contribute to the relationship.

Just had me thinking- thats all.

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We both have areas that one is stronger in etc. So he or I will handle that. Does not make any of us of less importance in the decision making process.

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This is so not what I meant- AAH the computer is so limited.

Ok, has there ever been a time where you have seen a couple- and ONE of the two is so dominant that you have not thought- goodness where is the equality in this relationship????

With a few of our friends we can definately see who is wearing the pants in their relationship. I think in our relationship, we both try to be equally fair. Sometimes he gets something he wants and sometimes I do.

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Posted by nrvbrd

Ok, has there ever been a time where you have seen a couple- and ONE of the two is so dominant that you have not thought- goodness where is the equality in this relationship????

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I have friends in relationships like that and it makes me sad. Especially when they express their unhappiness with the situation yet refuse to speak up and change it. Their husbands desires become more important than their own.

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Posted by nrvbrd

This is so not what I meant- AAH the computer is so limited.

Ok, has there ever been a time where you have seen a couple- and ONE of the two is so dominant that you have not thought- goodness where is the equality in this relationship????

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No, you just think, boy that man can't get a word in edge wise

I personally try not to judge a book by it's cover. Just b/c a couple's relationship may 'appear' to everyone to be one way in public, doesn't mean that's how it is behind closed doors. JMO.

I never really thought about how DH and I are perceived by others....we always just try to be supportive of each other....especially when in the company of others.

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Posted by Claud2001


....we always just try to be supportive of each other....especially when in the company of others.

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Excellent advice!! I hate couples that are always fighting...you did this and you did that,...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH....save it for home buddy!!

Im sure this comes as a surprise to no one, but Im sure people think I wear the pants. But that is only b/c Im an outgoing articulate and decisive person. And unfortunetely, many people look at a situation where the wife is equally capable intelluctually of making decisions as the husband, then he is whipped. Very sad.

In reality, I wish I wore the pants. He has too many opinions

I think that we are 50/50 but he would say I wear the pants