most of my family lives oot and my mom and i really don`t think most of them will come, although we think it`s wrong not to invite them (they are her brothers and sisters) but we don`t want to wait to find out from them a month before that they wont make it and then look for last minute guests to fill the spot. we will be paying for those spots weather they come or not so is it rude to send a pre invite saying we need to know if you would attend so that we can make a B list and those Blisters would haven`t to feel like they were on a B list. and how in the world would you even phrase something like this?
bemyyoko
Posted:
Member since
Re: is it rude?
i would talk to them to be honest. did you send a save the date? if you did already, give them a call and be like... we were just wondering if you thought you'd be able to attend. we'd love to have you there, please don't think we don't, but the budget is tight, so if you don't think you'll be attending it will allow us to invite friends...
maybe something like that.
dangell427
Posted:
Member since
Re: is it rude?
Posted by bemyyoko
i would talk to them to be honest. did you send a save the date? if you did already, give them a call and be like... we were just wondering if you thought you'd be able to attend. we'd love to have you there, please don't think we don't, but the budget is tight, so if you don't think you'll be attending it will allow us to invite friends...
maybe something like that.
i just ordered my save the dates yesterday. so you think i should wait a few weeks after i send them out to make a call like that?
bemyyoko
Posted:
Member since
Re: is it rude?
yea, i think it might be a way to go. I mean, it's sort of a tough spot to be in but i can totally relate. i have friends i'd love to invite, but can't right now. i can't even send them a std b/c of it b/c our guest list exploded. but i know a lot of them are OOTers and they wont be coming. so i'll send out my save the dates, then i'll make a call asking if they got it and if they think they can make it. if you are close to them, they won't think it's rude, and if you're not close with them, who cares if they think it's rude? you know?
if your parents are paying or fh are paying... you could have your mom or FH parents call their guests and say it's b/c they'd like to give you and FH the option of inviting more of your friends b/c it's all family and parental friends right now.. that might be a better way to go
ChristineAaron08
Posted:
Member since
Re: is it rude?
I would have her talk to them and tel them about the wedding and all and see if they say that they won't be able to make it or not. The save the dates might help too.
We have a similar situation. I really doubt my family in FL and GA will come and we werent going to invite them at all b/c I never see or talk to them. Well, my uncle passed away 2 months ago and I saw them all and they say they are coming to the wedding. So, now I HAVE TO invite them, but I am not counting them on the head cound b/c I really doubt they will show. If they have tickets the week before and I know they are coming, I will tell the RH to up the count.
dangell427
Posted:
Member since
Re: is it rude?
Posted by bemyyoko
yea, i think it might be a way to go. I mean, it's sort of a tough spot to be in but i can totally relate. i have friends i'd love to invite, but can't right now. i can't even send them a std b/c of it b/c our guest list exploded. but i know a lot of them are OOTers and they wont be coming. so i'll send out my save the dates, then i'll make a call asking if they got it and if they think they can make it. if you are close to them, they won't think it's rude, and if you're not close with them, who cares if they think it's rude? you know?
if your parents are paying or fh are paying... you could have your mom or FH parents call their guests and say it's b/c they'd like to give you and FH the option of inviting more of your friends b/c it's all family and parental friends right now.. that might be a better way to go
yeahhh i definatly think i`ll have my mom make the call. i really haven`t seen most of these people for over 10 years so i`d feel akward calling. it`s sad because it`s my godmother (moms sis) her husband godfather (moms bro) and his wife and my mom`s other bro and his wife and my 3 cousins and their significant others. i`d love to have them there so i can see them all again but they said they wouldn`t even fly hear to burry my grandmother when she passes (morbid i know!) so what makes us think they`d come here for a wedding!
dangell427
Posted:
Member since
Re: is it rude?
Posted by ChristineAaron08
I would have her talk to them and tel them about the wedding and all and see if they say that they won't be able to make it or not. The save the dates might help too.
We have a similar situation. I really doubt my family in FL and GA will come and we werent going to invite them at all b/c I never see or talk to them. Well, my uncle passed away 2 months ago and I saw them all and they say they are coming to the wedding. So, now I HAVE TO invite them, but I am not counting them on the head cound b/c I really doubt they will show. If they have tickets the week before and I know they are coming, I will tell the RH to up the count.
yeahhh OOTers are a pain! they can`t be trusted!
ChristineAaron08
Posted:
Member since
Re: is it rude?
I know, seriously, even if your oots say they are comning. Don't count them in until you have to give your final head count. My sister ended up paying for extra people who never showed on both sides. ahhhhggghhh!
