Is it tacky not to gve my BMs a gift? I ask because....
This is going to sound terrible but....
I was considering not giving my 3 bridesmaids anything as a gift. And before the yells go up, let me explain why.
1. I have never heard about this tradition before. Neither had my mother or her two sisters (the girls mothers.) The girls don't know about it. In my family its just 'expected' cousins/brothers/sisters will be in the bridal party. When i gave them the BM cards, they all were like what's this? Not that they were suprised I asked, but surprised that I had made it formal.
2. The girls are all WAY younger than me-I do not know them personally at all and they all ahve VASTLY different tastes.
As horrid as it is to say this, I am ostracized from the rest of the family for being 'too white' because I wear clothes from Ann Taylor and the Gap and prefer pearls to bracelet size hoop earrings and name plates as wide as my four fingers. They don't include me in things when they come here for vacation though they do go out with my cousins who lives here and my brother. Aside from loving them because they are my family, I do not have a relationship at all with these women-no letters, no phone calls, no pictures so it makes choosing a gift harder and they wouldnt appreciate a pretty locket or pearl bracelt.
3. They didnt pay for ANYTHING. MY mother ordered and paid for their dresses-she will split the bill with one aunt (the mother of the girl that lives here, not in PR) because my other aunt doesnt work so she doesnt have the money. They will pay for their hair, makeup, shoes, etc. The girls are paying NOTHING out of pocket so it hasnt been an inconvenience for them at all.
4. The day that we were supposed to meet to measure them and order their dresses, they were an hour late.... My aunt is always late everywhere but these are grown up girls-two of them drive and the thirdcan go with them. They knew we had to get up at 8am and yet went to bed at 3am that day for no reason, and when I left at 10 to 10am that morning for the store, they were still in bed.
Sounds like whining and mayeb it is, but having them in the bridal party was more of a 'have to' than a 'want to.' Thats why i am thinking we just won't give them anything except hug and kisses because they arent helping me with the wedding planning at all-actually been cold towards me.
My MOH on the other hand has been wonderful. I just put her in after kicking the last diva girl out (some people may remember that post) and she is just wonderful-best friend I have. (originally didnt put her in because we are getting amrried two weeks apart and wanted to save one another money but now we said we wont give presents, just be in each others wedding) So I want to do soemthign really special for her. She acyually surprised me by buying the headpiece I wanted behind my back. LOL had to tell me because I planned to order it this week and told her.
Anyway, enough rambling. Now that you ahve the backstory, do you think I can get away with not giving the BM's anything? We didnt even know about the gift tradition....
I was considering not giving my 3 bridesmaids anything as a gift. And before the yells go up, let me explain why.
1. I have never heard about this tradition before. Neither had my mother or her two sisters (the girls mothers.) The girls don't know about it. In my family its just 'expected' cousins/brothers/sisters will be in the bridal party. When i gave them the BM cards, they all were like what's this? Not that they were suprised I asked, but surprised that I had made it formal.
2. The girls are all WAY younger than me-I do not know them personally at all and they all ahve VASTLY different tastes.
As horrid as it is to say this, I am ostracized from the rest of the family for being 'too white' because I wear clothes from Ann Taylor and the Gap and prefer pearls to bracelet size hoop earrings and name plates as wide as my four fingers. They don't include me in things when they come here for vacation though they do go out with my cousins who lives here and my brother. Aside from loving them because they are my family, I do not have a relationship at all with these women-no letters, no phone calls, no pictures so it makes choosing a gift harder and they wouldnt appreciate a pretty locket or pearl bracelt.
3. They didnt pay for ANYTHING. MY mother ordered and paid for their dresses-she will split the bill with one aunt (the mother of the girl that lives here, not in PR) because my other aunt doesnt work so she doesnt have the money. They will pay for their hair, makeup, shoes, etc. The girls are paying NOTHING out of pocket so it hasnt been an inconvenience for them at all.
4. The day that we were supposed to meet to measure them and order their dresses, they were an hour late.... My aunt is always late everywhere but these are grown up girls-two of them drive and the thirdcan go with them. They knew we had to get up at 8am and yet went to bed at 3am that day for no reason, and when I left at 10 to 10am that morning for the store, they were still in bed.
Sounds like whining and mayeb it is, but having them in the bridal party was more of a 'have to' than a 'want to.' Thats why i am thinking we just won't give them anything except hug and kisses because they arent helping me with the wedding planning at all-actually been cold towards me.
My MOH on the other hand has been wonderful. I just put her in after kicking the last diva girl out (some people may remember that post) and she is just wonderful-best friend I have. (originally didnt put her in because we are getting amrried two weeks apart and wanted to save one another money but now we said we wont give presents, just be in each others wedding) So I want to do soemthign really special for her. She acyually surprised me by buying the headpiece I wanted behind my back. LOL had to tell me because I planned to order it this week and told her.
Anyway, enough rambling. Now that you ahve the backstory, do you think I can get away with not giving the BM's anything? We didnt even know about the gift tradition....
