Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

lauren16 Posted: Apr 15, 2005 12:53 PM

Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

Hi Ladies - well firstly i'm excited because i officially chose my bm dresses and entered them into the system at my bridal place. the girls now have to be sized and order them.

My wedding is in november and since the dresses are strapless, i am requiring shawls to be ordered as well. they cost 25% of what the dress costs, and i did fish around for better pricing, but it's too risky to use an outside shawl person due to die lots, colors not matching, etc. Anyway it's easier to just keep them all together and i did get the best possible price for dress + shawl than any other place (since i bought my gown here and they gave a big discount, etc.)

Anyway, dress is $200 plus $45 for shawl - it's a gorgeous Lazaro dress that a few of the girls absolutely loved and didn't care about the price...i'm not sure if they'll all feel the same way but i'm just feeling kinda bad. I don't know...i never wanted to be 'that bride' that made everyone pay a ton for their dresses, and i feel like it's happening! what are your thoughts?

lilacwine Posted: Apr 15, 2005 12:58 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

Would you be willing to buy them for your BMs? Maybe in lieu of jewlery or anything else you were planning to get them?

One of my BMs demanded a shawl, so I told all of the BMs that it was up to them if they wanted to buy and wear one or not. (Shawls were $90/each.) Personally, I don't like shawls. I didn't want that BM to stand out, so that's why I let each BM decide for herself. Two bought shawls, three didn't.

AnniesSS Posted: Apr 15, 2005 01:01 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

I agree - if you really want them, then make it part of their gift for being in your BP

KimberlyBride Posted: Apr 15, 2005 01:01 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

Honestly yes I do think asking the BM's to buy shawls is too much. $200 plus alterations is a lot for the dresses. Like the above poster said maybe buy the shawls as part of their gift?

lcherian Posted: Apr 15, 2005 01:05 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

ya i think its asking too much.

piat79 Posted: Apr 15, 2005 01:13 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

I think that is a lot of money to make them spend and agree with buying the shawls for them. I wouldnt make that their gift though because they will never be able to use them again.

DIANA Posted: Apr 15, 2005 01:17 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

I dont think its to much to ask them to wear a shawl. $200 is not a lot for a dress at all. My BM paid 200 and the most for alterations was $50. I believe that when your asked to be a BM you have to be ready and willing to spend some money. It is your day.

csorisi Posted: Apr 15, 2005 01:30 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

I 'made' my girls buy the shawls. I am also getting married in Nov and one of my BMs suggested a shawl so I said at first that peopel can choose whether they want one or not but that became too much of a decision for peopel so I decided that we shoudl get them. My BM dresses cost 178 + tax and the shawl was $50. SO the dress w/ tax & everything was $250. I don't think it is too much to ask since I am in a wedding at the end of the month and am paying $250 for just the dress!

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Apr 15, 2005 01:36 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

IMO, if you want them to get the shawl, you should buy it for them. $200 for a dress is a lot when you consider they also have to pay for alterations, tax, shoes, purse, etc.

again...JMO

Jan05Bride Posted: Apr 15, 2005 01:40 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

I made it part of their BM gifts. I thought it was too much to ask

jimmysgrl Posted: Apr 15, 2005 02:36 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

Posted by Jan05Bride

I made it part of their BM gifts. I thought it was too much to ask

I agree

lauren16 Posted: Apr 15, 2005 03:48 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

haha oh no now i'm even more torn! thanks for all your opinions. i was going to buy them as gifts but after thinking that i paid over $300 plus $150 for alterations for a bridesmaid dress last summer, it didn't seem that bad. if it was a june wedding i wouldn't even think twice, but given that it's november i'm thinking they'll need something to wear around them.

Anyway I appreciate your feedback - thanks!

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Apr 15, 2005 03:51 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

Posted by lauren16

haha oh no now i'm even more torn! thanks for all your opinions. i was going to buy them as gifts but after thinking that i paid over $300 plus $150 for alterations for a bridesmaid dress last summer, it didn't seem that bad. if it was a june wedding i wouldn't even think twice, but given that it's november i'm thinking they'll need something to wear around them.

Anyway I appreciate your feedback - thanks!

you paid $450 for a BM dress????????! OMG

lauren16 Posted: Apr 15, 2005 04:20 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

YES!! plus the bachelorette party was in VEGAS, the shower in New Hampshire, and the wedding at Mt. Washington resort in New Hampshire! ($300/night). ummm ridiculous...i guess compared to that we all look good! haha:)

LuvMyMichael Posted: Apr 15, 2005 04:38 PM

Re: Is requiring shawls too much for the BM's?

As a BM you have to expect that it is gonna be $$$ costly. I think you should ask the girls to get the shawls. I wouldn't have a prob with it if I was asked....I would not want to be chilly.