Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
brooklynbridezilla
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Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
FH was talking to his mom, and she said his aunts were surprised we had a registry, b/c we live together and have everything already, and they were planning on giving $.
The thing is, I didn't want a registry in the first place. I put one up b/c I was told it looks like you are asking for money if you do not give the registry options, and I didn't want to seem greedy! I was also under the impression that the shower gifts and wedding gifts were two different things.
Just frustrated, can't please everyone!
hbradio
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
I think they are different - at least I sure do hope they are!!! Do you think you are going to have a shower??? Cause if you didnt register what would you receive? A bunch of envelopes?? FH and I have lived together for a long time as well but we had been using mostly hand-me-downs so the shower was a chance to get all new nice stuff.
divabride
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
Girl, you and I are on the same boat. I didnt want a registry either, because we all ready have everything. I set one up so everyone would stop bellyaching about it. Anyway, yes the bridal shower gift and the wedding gift are two TOTALLY different things. Maybe they only plan to give you one BIG gift?
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
FMIL said she is giving me a shower, so I figured it was a good thing we put up a registry- it would be odd to get envelopes. One big gift, two small ones, no gift, its fine by me. It just bothered me that they would think I was greedy.
forgot to add: thanks girls!
divabride
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
I totally feel your pain. I've all ready had friends tell me how skimpy my registry is, but I didnt want ANYONE thinking I was greedy, so Im keeping it the way it is. I also didnt put anything majorly expensive on the list. I think I have about 3 things that are over $100. I think Im going to steal Azad's shower idea and ask for a honeymoon wishing well. What a great idea!!
lrs2005
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
I completely understand your not wanting to be greedy. I am having difficulty with the shower - b/c basically to me it is just another reason for a gift. I feel really awkward about the entire thing. However, at the urging of family and friends I put different types of things on there - some were shower gifts, some were wedding gifts and some were just things that we both liked. None of the shower type stuff has been purchased. However, we have received a few of the things I intended as wedding presents, but people have sent them to us with the words congratulations on your engagement. We did not have an e-party. They also told us that we would be getting a wedding present too. For quite a few of them I feel it is way to much. I think that people are just happy for us and want to express that.
Bunnymonkey
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
in my family
shower = gifts off the registry
wedding = money
Whatever way people choose look at it, it is 2 completely different things.
Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
I felt the same way at first but then when you get to the store, there are SO many things that I always wanted but never bought for myself. Like new silverware and plates, or a toaster oven (because those things always need to be replaced), or a wall clock... I would go to a store and look around, and get some ideas.
Lastminute
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
Heres my Question' When you buy a gift for someone shouldn't the intention usually be to buy that person something they wanted and not something you thought they should want or have'....
this whole registry thing drives me nuts....we chose not to do a registry as we are in a rented house at the moment and will be moving into our new hous early next year....then I will need to buy every stick of furniture we will need and everything else that is needed....in the meantime I do not have the room for pots and pans or whatever else that you would buy off of a registry so when people ask I dont say 'cash is king' I tell them the situation.....and they then say ' we dont want to give you cash'
I am not trying to be ungrateful but come on......I always buy whatever I think the recipient wants the most not whatever gift is going to make me feel good about myself....
I had some people say 'well we want to start you off with your dinner service' I dont want a fricking dinner service and you can imagine by the time the move and renovation of the house is complete what shape the dinner service will be in.....
I have said vouchers would be an alternative if people dont want to give cash but that gets the same reaction..
Ah well...I better clear out under the bed for all the pots, pans, dinner service and cut glass that I am going to get..
jesslangen
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
Posted by Lastminute
Heres my Question' When you buy a gift for someone shouldn't the intention usually be to buy that person something they wanted and not something you thought they should want or have'....
this whole registry thing drives me nuts....we chose not to do a registry as we are in a rented house at the moment and will be moving into our new hous early next year....then I will need to buy every stick of furniture we will need and everything else that is needed....in the meantime I do not have the room for pots and pans or whatever else that you would buy off of a registry so when people ask I dont say 'cash is king' I tell them the situation.....and they then say ' we dont want to give you cash'
I am not trying to be ungrateful but come on......I always buy whatever I think the recipient wants the most not whatever gift is going to make me feel good about myself....
I had some people say 'well we want to start you off with your dinner service' I dont want a fricking dinner service and you can imagine by the time the move and renovation of the house is complete what shape the dinner service will be in.....
I have said vouchers would be an alternative if people dont want to give cash but that gets the same reaction..
Ah well...I better clear out under the bed for all the pots, pans, dinner service and cut glass that I am going to get..
I understand where you are coming from, but people dont want to give cash for a bridal shower since they know they will in a few months when the Big Day comes. FH and I have been living together for almost 2 years. And when we moved into our own place we bought all new stuff. We dont dont really need any of our appliances or plates and stuff replaced because there is nothing wrong with them. But I figure out with the old and in with the new.
There has to be a few things you want? Some sort of luxury that you havent bought yourself?
Borricuamorena0905
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
Two different things.. Shower..gifts, wedding ..CASH
Lastminute
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
Sorry....I didnt explain myself... I am not having a bridal shower this is people asking what they should buy me for our wedding gift....
boobobunny
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
Posted by Lastminute
Sorry....I didnt explain myself... I am not having a bridal shower this is people asking what they should buy me for our wedding gift....
If you would prefer the cash gifts at the wedding... I would cancel your registry then...or maybe just leave a fe key items on it. And just tell people that you have a few items listed on a registry...but if they prefer to travel light the day of the wedding you would be happy with a money gift....(do you really want Aunt Sally showing up with your luggage to the wedding?)
Lastminute
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
Thats the point...I dont have a registry and people are still asking what I want...
AJsMommy122
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
Posted by brooklynbridezilla
FMIL said she is giving me a shower, so I figured it was a good thing we put up a registry- it would be odd to get envelopes. One big gift, two small ones, no gift, its fine by me. It just bothered me that they would think I was greedy.
forgot to add: thanks girls!
We live together already also and besides good crystal and my china we really didnt need anything we actually registered for ( but it was nice to replace some of the stuff!!) I think word of mouth that we were paying for the wedding ourselves and money was tight b/c I got plenty of envelopes at my shower along with the gifts!!
And they are definitly 2 seperate gifts! Even people who gave $$$ at the shower still gave an envelope at the wedding.
jersee3380
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
For girls who have had their showers already .. did you find you received mostly presents over $$ ? My FH and I live together and we registered hoping we get all 'new' stuff we wanted in the first place!
micmar
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Re: Is the shower gift the same thing as a wedding gift?
better to be registered so you don't get things that you already have or don't need...I'm in the same boat, we have alot, so that's why we registered - so we get things that we need.
