Is this being really rude???

neen Posted: Dec 14, 2003 10:15 PM

Is this being really rude???

I want to tell my BM's that I really don't want them to take of their shoes at the reception. I have never been one to do this because (even when I was at sweet sixteens) because this is a wedding. I just fear that they will think I am being crazy and snobby. Does anyone else feel this way. Also, I have reminded them to get comfortable shoes!!!

peabody Posted: Dec 14, 2003 10:19 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

You know I never really thought about it.

I am recalling the weddings I have been too and I truly don't remember anyone taking off their shoes. Maybe I just didn't notice.

I don't think you are being rude, but definitely let them why you want them to get comfortable shoes.

palebride Posted: Dec 14, 2003 10:20 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

i dont' think you can really tell them what they can or can't do. yes it is your day, and you can possibly tell them you prefer them to get comfortable shoes so they don't take them off....but to try to rule their actions throughout the day seems a littlemuch.
just my opinion!

deedee Posted: Dec 14, 2003 10:22 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

I don't think that is rude at all. Do you really think they'll do that? If you have to say it, put it to them like: 'You better get some comfortable dancing shoes' or 'Would you believe that a friend attended a wedding where the BM's took their shoes off! 'That's filthy'!!
Good Luck, I wonder if I have to do the same thing.. I hope not...

KFA5477 Posted: Dec 14, 2003 10:23 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

i've been to many wedding this year and i don't know anyone who took off their shoes
but i know what you mean i was never one to take off my shoes. But all my friends a sweet sixteens would do that and wear baggie socks (god remember those)
anyway i feel the same way i wouldn't want my girls to take off their shoes it looks trashy
but i don't know how you go about telling them maybe you should just hope for the best
or say in passing 'boy i sure dislike when 'people' take their shoes off at wedding!' good luck

JZNCK Posted: Dec 14, 2003 10:27 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

Every wedding, that I have been too people take off their shoes.. lol.. I don't think it's rude, just tell them you would like them and their dresses to look 'complete' for pics and video etc..

ETA; personally i wouldn't care, but if you do, I think you should ask them.. If it's going to bother you, I am sure they jsut want you to be happy..

beachgirl13 Posted: Dec 14, 2003 10:30 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

I'm in the minority here, but I think it's rude to tell them not to take off their shoes. Who cares if they take off their shoes??? By then you really aren't going to notice, and if someone said that to me I would be annoyed and think they are being way too anal. JMO

ChristineC68 Posted: Dec 14, 2003 10:58 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

I don't understand why this would even be a concern. I will presume that they will have their shoes on for the ceremony, pictures, etc. After that, what difference does it make?

I doubt they would plan to take off their shoes but if it came down to sitting out for the rest of the party or taking off their shoes, I would want them to take their shoes off.

Alvatorre74 Posted: Dec 14, 2003 11:08 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

This is soooo funny...This happened to Me..one of my BM asked me if she could take he shoes off at the reception, I told her 'WOULD U WANT SOMEONE BAREFOOTED at your WEDDING'....I think she got a bit mad at me...BUT SHE DIDNT TAKE THEM OFF!!! LOL

JimmysBride Posted: Dec 14, 2003 11:16 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

This is the ONE thing I asked of my girls!!! I don't think it's rude at all... it's all in the way you say it too. I told them I will be buying them all slippers or flip flops or something, anything so they can change if they start to feel the impending urge to turn my reception into junior prom. I've seen it. It ain't pretty.

ETA: BTW, they had NO problem with my request and did not think I was crazy, rude, or bossy for asking. In fact most them agreed and said that they would never that at a wedding anyway.

sophie78 Posted: Dec 14, 2003 11:39 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

I would not tell them. It is their decision IMO. Who would really care or notice anyway?

Moehick Posted: Dec 14, 2003 11:43 PM

Re: Is this being really rude???

I say leave it up to them. You will have your pics done, if they feel like taking off their shoes and dancing, why worry about it? I think there is a limit to how bossy you can be without a 'mutiny'!

ktdtlc Posted: Dec 15, 2003 07:29 AM

Re: Is this being really rude???

Why don't you buy them all a pair of slippers, so if they want to take their shoes off then at least they aren't barefoot. I have seen this done at a few weddings were all the bridesmaids and bride wore the ballet slippers.

RedHead Posted: Dec 15, 2003 07:38 AM

Re: Is this being really rude???

KTDTLC--- I agree.

But if your are not going to do that then i think that you better think what is more
important to you. A couple of people with their shoes off and dancing up a storm or
your girls sitting down because their feet hurt. I think i would
rather see people dancing and having a good time.

groovypeg Posted: Dec 15, 2003 07:52 AM

Re: Is this being really rude???

honestly, coming from someone who has alot of feet problems, i would be offended if i could NOT take my shoes off. i have had surgery on my feet 2x. at my friends wedding we took off our shoes and put on matching sandels to the dress. if it is that important to you, why dont you get them all comfortable slippers? no matter what kind of formal shoe you get, being on your feet all day will definitely take a toll. if it is about the pictures, tell them to put on the shoes for the formal pics.

Jan05Bride Posted: Dec 15, 2003 08:56 AM

Re: Is this being really rude???

I told my BM's that they can choose their own shoes but they HAD to keep them on all night or else buy ballet slippers to change into.
I only did this because my cousin is notorious for taking her shoes off anywhere. At my granmother's funeral, she actually stood in her stocking feet at the casket and greeted people, I was repulsed!

wenndypoo Posted: Dec 15, 2003 09:23 AM

Re: Is this being really rude???

I agree that it is tacky and prom-ish. I think the only gracious way to get around it is to provide them with slippers or sandles of sorts, and hope they get the hint.
I don't think there's any other way without coming across as a total control freak. And honestly, isn't their comfort the most important thing?

kdelace Posted: Dec 15, 2003 09:29 AM

Re: Is this being really rude???

i was in my sisters wedding and wore comfortable shoes and my feet still hurt after all of the ours on my feet and I took off my shoes towards the end. Its your preference but by the time the reception is under way and pictures are done, I could care less what they do with their shoes!

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Dec 15, 2003 09:58 AM

Re: Is this being really rude???

i HATE when people do that! (take shoes off at weddings)
I hate feet!
I am giving the girls some dearfoam slippers as part of their bridesmaid packages!

tourist Posted: Dec 15, 2003 10:12 AM

Re: Is this being really rude???

I thought i was the only one that wondered abotu thses things..
I was a BM a couple of years ago, and I was the only one that left my shoes on ( none of us wore stockings)
It hought it was tacky you take them off, and I tought my feel might smell ( it was hot) and I would have tripped on my dress.

However, the Bride's mother picked out the shoes & made us all have matching ones, and they didn't really fit me to start with since I have wide feet, but I left them on anyway and thought the other should too, but they were her family & the bride didn't seem to care.

My cousin always takes her shoes off, but usually wears slippers, so I am concerned about this too, but I think if you let them wear there own shoes, you cold ask them if they are comfy,and say ok, that's good, so then we don't need to get slippers. . .

If my friend's mom could tell me I had to wear shoes that she picked, that didn't fit me, then you could tell ( or ask or hint to) your BMs to leave there shoes on, but I would try to be as nice about it as possible.