Is this kind of dumb? My mother's kabonkers idea for my shower!

The shower is for the bride mainly, right? Well my mom is throwing my shower and she's having my FH's name on the cake too and expects him to be there the whole time as well. She said he'll have brunch with my dad outside of the shower room in the main part and then be there for opening the gifts. This means he's got to stay the whole 4 hours, and it's out of state so it's not like he can go hang out anywhere. Shouldn't he just make an appearance at the end? I was hoping he and my dad would go to Best Boy or do some other guy thing for the main time.I mean, isn't it dumb to have a shower for both of us when it's only women attending? Plus, call me selfish, but I don't want to share my shower with him! What do you girls think?

ETA: helping you out Ron, changed the title!

My DH showed up with his little brother to load the gifts. In my family, showers are women only!

But SIL had a couples shower and her DH was there for the entire thing.

well, it should be up to you. I would have loved for my FH to stay with me for opening the gifts, but he wouldn't be caught dead. lol. (he's very macho).

I think all the guys (including relatives who drove their wives) will have to go to another location to hang out while us girls do our thing. I have no clue where my shower will be, but if it was at regular kind of restaurant, I wouldn't have a problem with all the men just ordering dinner and hanging out while they wait for us. (as long as we're in another room). Where else are they gonna go? Plus, it's a day for all the guys to hang out and catch up, too.

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Posted by sarahradio5

well, it should be up to you. I would have loved for my FH to stay with me for opening the gifts, but he wouldn't be caught dead. lol. (he's very macho).

I think all the guys (including relatives who drove their wives) will have to go to another location to hang out while us girls do our thing. I have no clue where my shower will be, but if it was at regular kind of restaurant, I wouldn't have a problem with all the men just ordering dinner and hanging out while they wait for us. (as long as we're in another room). Where else are they gonna go? Plus, it's a day for all the guys to hang out and catch up, too.

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How long are showers usually? I was under the impression they are 3-4 hours. Isn't that a long time for my FH and dad to be at brunch. I can see it now, they'll eat for like 20 mins, sit and stare into the air and be like, what were we thinking? This is boring!

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

The shower is for the bride mainly, right? Well my mom is throwing my shower and she's having my FH's name on the cake too and expects him to be there the whole time as well. She said he'll have brunch with my dad outside of the shower room in the main part and then be there for opening the gifts. This means he's got to stay the whole 4 hours, and it's out of state so it's not like he can go hang out anywhere. Shouldn't he just make an appearance at the end? I was hoping he and my dad would go to Best Boy or do some other guy thing for the main time.I mean, isn't it dumb to have a shower for both of us when it's only women attending? Plus, call me selfish, but I don't want to share my shower with him! What do you girls think?

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I think its turtore for a guy to have to sit thru a bridal shower. I think you should tell your Mom how you & Fh feel, after all its your day.

PS: THere is NO way my FH would even consider attending, but he will be there at the end to pick up th e gifts, and will probaly be the one to get me to where ever the shower is. But in between he is going ot go do his own thing.

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Posted by Sunrise813

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

The shower is for the bride mainly, right? Well my mom is throwing my shower and she's having my FH's name on the cake too and expects him to be there the whole time as well. She said he'll have brunch with my dad outside of the shower room in the main part and then be there for opening the gifts. This means he's got to stay the whole 4 hours, and it's out of state so it's not like he can go hang out anywhere. Shouldn't he just make an appearance at the end? I was hoping he and my dad would go to Best Boy or do some other guy thing for the main time.I mean, isn't it dumb to have a shower for both of us when it's only women attending? Plus, call me selfish, but I don't want to share my shower with him! What do you girls think?

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I think its turtore for a guy to have to sit thru a bridal shower. I think you should tell your Mom how you & Fh feel, after all its your day.

PS: THere is NO way my FH would even consider attending, but he will be there at the end to pick up th e gifts, and will probaly be the one to get me to where ever the shower is. But in between he is going ot go do his own thing.

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I know but I can't ever tell my mom anything. She just gets insulted. We don't have normal conversations. My FMIL is also throwing the shower, so FH talked to her and she is going to try to reason with my mom. My FH said he'll go if he has to but he doesn't like that my mother never even asked him what he wanted to do. You would would think this is my day, but it's really not.

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

Plus, when I said that my FH maybe wouldn't want to stay the whole time, my dad was like 'Nooo, please don't leave me there. I don't want to be there for the girly stuff.' LOL. Gosh my mom is being a momzilla.

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MOMZILLA!!! I LOVE IT!!!

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Posted by VadersBride2006

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

Plus, when I said that my FH maybe wouldn't want to stay the whole time, my dad was like 'Nooo, please don't leave me there. I don't want to be there for the girly stuff.' LOL. Gosh my mom is being a momzilla.

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MOMZILLA!!! I LOVE IT!!!

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I know, I feel pulled in so many directions. I want to avoid the wrath of mom, but also I want both my FH and my dad to be happy.

You're right, Beth, the shower should be for just you if that's what you and FH want. For my shower, FH walked in with me (it was a surprise, I thought we were going to a party for someone else) and he made the rounds saying hello to everyone and I introduced him to people he didn't already know. Then he left and had a stereo installed in his truck, at the end he came back with my brother to load up the gifts. That was it!!

The cake did have both of our names on it, but I thought that was sweet!

Luckily for me my shower was held about a mile from my house so we had DH,BIL, FIL and all my BM's DH's/SO's all hang out there. It was at the end of July so they all just went swimming and BBQ's.
DH would have wanted to hang himself if he had to come to the shower.
I agree with you, I wouldn't have wanted DH to be there and definitley not my father.

Good Luck! I hope everything works out. No matter what you will still have an amazing day!

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

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Posted by sarahradio5

well, it should be up to you. I would have loved for my FH to stay with me for opening the gifts, but he wouldn't be caught dead. lol. (he's very macho).

I think all the guys (including relatives who drove their wives) will have to go to another location to hang out while us girls do our thing. I have no clue where my shower will be, but if it was at regular kind of restaurant, I wouldn't have a problem with all the men just ordering dinner and hanging out while they wait for us. (as long as we're in another room). Where else are they gonna go? Plus, it's a day for all the guys to hang out and catch up, too.

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How long are showers usually? I was under the impression they are 3-4 hours. Isn't that a long time for my FH and dad to be at brunch. I can see it now, they'll eat for like 20 mins, sit and stare into the air and be like, what were we thinking? This is boring!

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Yeah... they're usually 3-4 hours. That's a long time for 2 guys sitting and staring each other, but other male family members may need a place to hang while they're waiting for their wives to leave the shower. A bunch of guys hanging out for that amount of time wouldn't be so bad.

My FMIL threw me a shower and made my FH come for the entire time. She put his name on the invitations and cake too. It was definitely a little weird that he was the only guy there, but it was actually really nice since it was all his family, and I haven't met half of them.

I think it's getting more common, but it's definitely not the norm.