Is this normal?

CaitlinD Posted: Mar 13, 2007 05:20 PM

Is this normal?

So far the invitation process has been a nightmare. At first we invited way more people than planned and I was stressed that we couldn't afford it all. Then, once some of FH's family realized that our wedding was for adults only they decided to boycott. Now, two weeks before the wedding, we have been getting calls from people who RSVPd yes, but now can't come!!! As it is we are 15 below our minimum. I just finished my seating chart and sent my escort cards to the calligrapher today but I can't keep up every day it's something else. For all you married girls, did you get many guests who changed their minds at the last minute? Thanks!

Shellycakes123 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 05:25 PM

Re: Is this normal?

well i had a few not show up, just telll your hall 6 poeple less when u give them the count, they always set all the tables the same usually 12 even if you have 8 poeple to sit there...that way if some dont show u dont get screwed, i was pissed....if i wree you i would invitte some last minute work people, we wne tthrough the whole no kids thing too, caused huge problems

emcheung Posted: Mar 13, 2007 09:40 PM

Re: Is this normal?

some reception halls will throw things in for you if you don't meet the minimum. maybe you can ask your reception hall what happens if you are unable to meet their requirements. i also like the idea of inviting co-workers last minute.

missalissa Posted: Mar 14, 2007 12:51 PM

Re: Is this normal?

i hope that happens to me! i over invited WAYYY TOO MANY!

MrsB2BE Posted: Mar 14, 2007 01:05 PM

Re: Is this normal?

My Girlfriend got married and 15 members of her family did not show up at the wedding - so she had about 2 empty tables. They ended up giving her extra time in the hall and her DJ didn't charge her because of the situation.

SoontobeMrsO Posted: Mar 14, 2007 01:46 PM

Re: Is this normal?

I am sorry this is happening to you.
Call up your RH and explain the situation, maybe they can add extras.

Espo22 Posted: Mar 14, 2007 01:58 PM

Re: Is this normal?

For the wedding ill probably have a breakdown bc of all this, we invited 140 guests to our e-party and it was a NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!! after the rsvp date we had about 20 people not respond yes or no, then had to call all of them...I had quite a few people who must've changed their answer about 5 times and someone even changed it 7X!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is insane. I had people who were added last minute, actually dad forgot to tell me he invited them AFTER i gave in the final headcount and money to chateau la mer...then some who said no all of a sudden were coming and some who said yes so no...I even had someone who at this point changed their answer 3x, call to say they cant make it and seriously not even 2 mins later call to say they are coming(*** happened in 2 mins)

So this is on thursday 2 days before the party, everything should be done-NO!!!!!!!!!
the day of the party i was getting phonecalls in the morning and afternoon of people telling me they werent coming...One couple lived far and it had started to snow where they were from, they were 5 hours away so its understandable...One friend rsvp'd yes and no for her bf 24 hours before the party about 7x, and a few other people.

what people dont realize and seriously i am gonna start telling ppl for the wedding. WE have to pay off the balance two weeks ahead of time and give money for whatever headcount we have at that moment, less show up you lose that money...So for 10 extra that didnt show i wasted money.

ugh sorry this was long but to show you how annoying it can be, unfortunately this is normal

MrsD06 Posted: Mar 15, 2007 10:28 AM

Re: Is this normal?

first of all, yes I think this is normal. Annoying, but normal. We had this happen too and invited work people last minute. People that I would have liked to invite in the first place but didn't think I could. No one seemed offended..almost everyone came and seemed very happy that we asked.

chatxleau24 Posted: Mar 15, 2007 10:33 AM

Re: Is this normal?

wow. im so sorry that happened to you. what a shame people would 'boycott' because of it being adults-only! I think sometimes people get wrapped up in their own selfishness or family issues and they dont realize how badly they are hurting you on your BIG day. Such a shame. I hope you can eventually forgive them for being such a$$e$!

ali120206 Posted: Mar 15, 2007 10:53 AM

Re: Is this normal?

Yes, it's normal. We had a number of people who changed their response a couple of weeks before the wedding, one was a family of 7 people with no good reason! Most of the people who changed their yesses to nos had good reasons (moving, on bedrest).

We were expecting 325 after all of the cancellations beforehand. 13 people didn't show up the day of. 7 were due to sick relatives or travel issues, 2 were people who were invited with guest, responded they were coming with guest, and then didn't bring a guest, and 4 had no reason and haven't explained why they didn't come at all.

I wouldn't recommend telling your hall less though. My hall did set extra places but, there's no guarantee that the extra places will be set where you've assigned the people to sit so it might cause chaos.