many of u have met online so i thought id ask u all..actually this is a question for a friend of mine..i was doing the online dating thing and didnt really love it..one of my good friends also signed up for match.com and she started talking to this guy, they exchanged pics, 1 pic each and then they talked threw im a few times, exchanced numbers, and chat on the phone everyday, they talked about meeting up in person and he told her that he likes to talk for a while on the phone so they really get to know each other, cause he is looking for a serious relationship, and feels that looks get in the way of making a connection with someone deeper (that is the gist of what he told her) so i dont know what to tell her..is it weird?? i mean in one way thats awesome, he wants to know someone without looks being an issue,,,but at the same time i feel like could he be hiding something??? if he liked her so much wouldnt he wanna see her?? i dont know what to tell her so someone help me!! oh also i told her well do u think hes lying about who he is cause she only saw 1 picture..and when she mentioned it to him he said he doesnt have a digital camera but he'd send her tons of pics threw snail mail (to her job address if she doesnt wanna share her home address) if she felt worried about his sincerity.... i dont know if she should kinda just bail on him or persue the phone thing?? thanks guys! Michi
mrswask
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
I don't know - it seems kind of weird. I didn't meet FH online but I did dabble in the online dating thing a little right before I met him and the whole point of connecting with someone on the phone and exchanging great emails and phone conversations is that soon enough you wanted to meet!! Kind of weird...
TracyInQueens
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
He's probably ugly.
No, I'm just kidding. He may just be very shy in person and maybe he wants her to get to know him over the phone.
Regardless, I think your friend should not drag out the phone thing too long. I know from experience that you can have great conversations over the phone, get your hopes up, then meet in person to find that there is zero chemistry. Conversely, you could have a dull chat on the phone, meet in person and wham! I found that with DH- we have a couple of nice conversations but nothing extraordinary. I would not have dragged out a phone relationship for too long, but when we met in person, well, that was when we truly connected.
And you also may be right that he is hiding something. You really never know- it's always a chance when you do the online thing and meet strangers.
Calla
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
Posted by MuchInLuvMichi
he told her that he likes to talk for a while on the phone so they really get to know each other, cause he is looking for a serious relationship, and feels that looks get in the way of making a connection with someone deeper (that is the gist of what he told her) so i dont know what to tell her..is it weird??
Is this guy really new to online dating? If so, he may just be scared and unsure.
If he's been doing it a while, something sounds odd to me about this. So, if they get married and need to talk, does someone leave the house and call on the cell phone?
I can understand talking on the phone a few times to make sure you aren't wasting your time, but meeting in person is the only way to get a sense if its really going to work. They've already been talking every day -- sounds like time to meet!
12-3Princess
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
i think it's weird. I think he's either ugly, married, or just plain insecure. but hey, you never know.
Happybride2005
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
when i met people online, i first chatted with them for a bit online. for me, i didn't give them my number until i met them in person. most of the guys were okay with that.
Miro127
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
if she really enjoys talking to him and sees potential i don't see the harm in continuing the relationship this way. she can still be on the lookout for others so it's not really stopping her pursuit of a guy! i talked to my DH online and on the phone for 5 weeks (everyday!) before met in person (granted, this was before online dating was so in vogue). IMO, if she's creeped out by it then i think she should call it quits, but if she's ok with it, then see where it goes!
MrsK-in-June05
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
Posted by 12-3Princess
i think it's weird. I think he's either ugly, married, or just plain insecure. but hey, you never know.
i was just going to say he is married!! it is very odd, the whole point of online dating is to fish through the bad ones to get to a good one. if he really felt a connection like your friend seems to, then he would love to meet. he is soooooo married.
amy&anthony
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
Well I had many men get so frustrated with me because I just wanted to talk on email Im and phone for QUITE a while before meeting them. Some had no patience which was good because I need someone with patience and had an easy time weeding guys out LOL I would ask for snail mail pics... Then theyre not doctored up on the computer and it couldnt take more than 4 days... Online dating can be scary sometimes. I got lucky, but if she likes him after meeting him I would recommend a simple backround check LOL You never know. The guy COULD be married already or something.. Better to be safe than sorry, but I think waiting is not such a bad thing :) Besides if I met in person all the guys that I had something in common with at first I would have wasted a lot of time.. After a while on the phone she may realize shes not attracted to him anyway etc...
SweetCin704
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
I met SO online and typically I was one to suggest more IM's and emails asking important questions before meeting. I too, tended not to give out my number until after we met. I felt if a guy didn't want to spend the time emailing and answering some q's then too bad & he's not serious about a 'real' relationship.
Like someone else said, sometimes you can really hit it off over the phone & through email, etc. & then you get your hopes up & when you meet the chemistry is just not there or the spark & you are let down.
I wouldn't drag out the phone/email thing for too long. I mean what's the point.
I'd have your friend ask to meet him for coffee & kinda make it like, no pressure, we'll meet as friends if something is there fine, if not, no hard feelings.
If he's not up for something like that, I'd say move on.
Jenny5150
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Re: is this oddd--- online dating question
I used online matchmaking services for a number years before finally meeting my DH. I was the one that was always trying to drag it out online for as long as I could, trying to get to 'know' them. And let me tell you, I was always disappointed when I finally met them in person. Emails & phones calls just weren't the same.
My DH on the other hand didn't want to drag things out. He flat out said to me 'Why don't we just meet for drinks and get it over with. We'll know if we're interested in each other within the first 5 minutes.' It made complete sense. I always knew if I wanted to spend any kind time with someone within the first few minutes. So we met 2 days later after meeting online. The rest is history.
