Is this weird???

Ok so as some of you know, DH and I are expecting our first baby (together). At my age instead of having an amnio done, we opted for the AFT Screening which consists of blood work and 2 sonograms done to determine if everything is ok with the baby. We've done part 1 of it, and now are scheduled for our more detailed sonogram on 3/28. At this visit the sonogram will be an hour long.

Here's where the 'weirdness' question comes into play. DH's mom asked if she could be in the room w/us when we have this sonogram done? She will be visiting from Florida. While I understand her excitement, I also feel like this is a very private moment in which the fate of our baby will be given to us at that moment. DH is the baby of the family and while this is his first child, this is not her first grandchild..and I don't know that I am comfortable with having her there. Is this selfish of me???

It's not weird at all. I'm not pregnant, but I wouldn't want my OWN mother in there, much less my MIL, in there!

This is a private moment for you and your DH - don't let other's intrude on it!

I would feel weird about it too. I don't think I would want her around for even just a regular sonogram, I don't need my MIL seeing my naked preggo belly all jelled up.
Have DH talk to her about it. He should be able to understand how you feel.

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I would feel weird about it too. I don't think I would want her around for even just a regular sonogram, I don't need my MIL seeing my naked preggo belly all jelled up.
Have DH talk to her about it. He should be able to understand how you feel.

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He looked scared to tell me..LOL. I mean it's strange...then it also doesn't help that she is JW and although I say to each their own w/religion.. when you start talking to me about it knowing I'm not that religion and saying Jehovah will bless our baby..it's really uncomfortable. The same way I wouldn't talk to her about my religion..you know?? I love the woman..but sometimes...she's just a little too much. The last thing I want is for her to resent me..but she HAS to understand how I feel. Next thing you know..she'll want to be in the room w/us when I deliver.

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Posted by Mitabtrfly

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I would feel weird about it too. I don't think I would want her around for even just a regular sonogram, I don't need my MIL seeing my naked preggo belly all jelled up.
Have DH talk to her about it. He should be able to understand how you feel.

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He looked scared to tell me..LOL. I mean it's strange...then it also doesn't help that she is JW and although I say to each their own w/religion.. when you start talking to me about it knowing I'm not that religion and saying Jehovah will bless our baby..it's really uncomfortable. The same way I wouldn't talk to her about my religion..you know?? I love the woman..but sometimes...she's just a little too much. The last thing I want is for her to resent me..but she HAS to understand how I feel. Next thing you know..she'll want to be in the room w/us when I deliver.

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When it comes to your child, no matter who it is (friend or family) there is no holding back how you want this child treated. I wouldn't think twice about asking my MIL up front to not talk like that about your baby.... if she loves you, your DH and her grandchild enough, she'll stop. You have your own little family now and you set the rules.

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Posted by soon2bcopswife

Michelle, totally on your side here. It's a private moment and she shouldn't intrude on it. I see how you feel about the religious talk, can Danny chat with her about it??

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I have asked him too..not sure if he has..but I will mention it again. Danny is so good about things like this..and he fully supports whatever decision I make..but at the same time I don't want him to feel like I have it out for his mom..because I don't. I guess I just felt and feel weird having her in there. I can totally understand the 'support' thing, but that is what he is there for.

nope not weird.
i would make sure it was only myself and dh..

i feel like if anyone else was in the room, we wouldnt react properly.

it is not weird for her to want to be there. it is also not weid/selfish for you NOT to want her to be there.

this is your body that will be on 'display' on the table and you NEED to be as comfortable as posible.

i completely know how you feel. when i was expecting my son, my mom wanted to be in there and wanted to know the sex. meanwhile, i wanted to be suprised. without asking, she came along to the visit. when they called my name, i told her it was just to fill out more papers... i went in, got it done, and walked out. she didn't know what hit her.

i know you can't do this because it's a longer test, and you don't want to 'fool' your mil.

be honest and 'warm' when you ask dh to let his mother know that she is not invited.

you and i are both mothers of sons, and i know you could understand her wanting to be part of her son's growing family. BUT, she needs to respect that this is YOUR growing family. she already had her kids. she needs to step aside for her son.

i wish you the best in navigating this situation.

ps please keep us posted on how the baby is doing

My mom came to my first ultrasound appointment but that was an transvaginal one so I told her to wait in the waiting room...I kinda felt bad but hey, I did not want her in there.

DH and I decided to get a 4d ultrasound done at 27 weeks (after the level II confirmed that everything was ok) and we invited our families to join us

It was

DH and I
My mom
My sister and BIL
MIL and FIL
SIL
and my best friend

It was a great experience and everyone loved seeing our little girl

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Posted by stephanief

My mom came to my first ultrasound appointment but that was an transvaginal one so I told her to wait in the waiting room...I kinda felt bad but hey, I did not want her in there.

DH and I decided to get a 4d ultrasound done at 27 weeks (after the level II confirmed that everything was ok) and we invited our families to join us

It was

DH and I
My mom
My sister and BIL
MIL and FIL
SIL
and my best friend

It was a great experience and everyone loved seeing our little girl

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I can totally see having them their for a 4D ultrasound or even a regular one..but this is not a 'regular' one. It's part 2 of our AFT screening and this is why I am having a rough time deciding if I want here there or not. I'm sure the MD won't give the results right then and there...but still it's just a personal thing for DH and I.