Is this wording Right???

Ok so remember my LOVE story with the favors and the picture of us under the love sign in Philly the day FH proposed (for those that don't remember I attached the pic)

Anyways: Here is what I came up with to say. But I don't know if it should be in this tense? Should I write it in third person as I did. Or should the tense be we instead of they??? Please help! Also should add anything or take anything out? Does it sound ok?? Please let me know your thoughts


HERE IT IS:
This picture was taken on February 3, 2008. That day, on their 3rd Anniversary, Jordan proposed to Jess in Philadelphia. Jordan and Jess chose to give their guests a token of their love story. The gift waiting for you at your seat, looks strikingly similar to this image. Jordan and Jess wanted to thank you for being a part of their lives and are blessed to give you a piece of their story; a piece of their hearts, to take home with you tonight. Enjoy!

It sound snice & I love the idea. But i think it would be sweeter coming from you. I would write in first person not in the third.

I think the wording sounds good and I would either stick with third person (like you did) or write it like 'We wanted to thank you for being a part of our lives and are blessed to give you a piece of our story; a piece of our hearts, to take home with you tonight. Enjoy!'

Ok so once I change it to first person...should this line still remain the way it is??:

That day, on their 3rd Anniversary, Jordan proposed to Jess in Philadelphia

ok what about:

This picture was taken on our 3rd Anniversary, February 3, 2008. On this day Jordan proposed to Jess in Philadelphia.

We chose to give our guests a token of our love story. The gift waiting for you at your seat, looks strikingly similar to this image. We wanted to thank you for being a part of our lives and are blessed to give you a piece of our story; a piece of our hearts, to take home with you tonight. Enjoy!

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Posted by littlepixie12

ok what about:

This picture was taken on our 3rd Anniversary, February 3, 2008. On this day Jordan proposed to Jess in Philadelphia.

We chose to give our guests a token of our love story. The gift waiting for you at your seat, looks strikingly similar to this image. We wanted to thank you for being a part of our lives and are blessed to give you a piece of our story; a piece of our hearts, to take home with you tonight. Enjoy!

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Ok perfect! Thanks so much!!!

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

definately put it in 1st person... guests like to feel like you personally are speaking to them imo

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Def gonna change it right now! Thanks hun!