Issues with 2 of my friends...

So as many of you know, I moving in with my FI about a month ago. Everything is wonderful and I love living with him, but now my old roommates, are giving me attitude. They keep making comments about how they never get to see me and what not. Meanwhile I have plans to go out with just the girls this Sat. night. Anyway, I was talking to FI about it last night and he suggested I have a sleep over in our new place like old times, and he would leave the apartment for the night. Well I mentioned it to the girls and they were obnoxious, like 'don't let us put you out.' This really upsets me. I try my hardest to go out of my way for them and make plans with them but when they give me attitude about it it makes me feel like not even bothering. Neither of them have bf's and I can see how they might feel left out, but what am I supposed to do to make them feel better? None of my other friends pull this with me. I try to make time for them but they think I am doing it out of pitty.

It must be hard for them... they miss you!! I am not taking their side, but I know how jealous single girls get when you have a significant other (OK, I used to be one of them!). Especially now that you're engaged, they probably just feel like 'it's the end of an era' (to quote Monica from Friends!) with your friendship. Not to say that it's ending, of course, just that things are different. Sometimes it's really hard for people to change. So I think this is just a temporary adjustment to the new situation, and after some time passes everything will be back to normal if they are true friends. It will get better! Be flexible in the meantime.

Sounds like your friends are jealous. You are trying to make plans with them and they are giving you an attitude. You are being nice and they are not.
I wouldn't let them bother you.

So do you think I should nix the sleepover idea and just go out with them Sat. night? I don't want to make them feel like I am pittying them. I will just be myself and hopefully things will be just like they were 2 months ago.

Thanks for listening!!

I would just go out on Saturday night with them.

In their shoes I would feel uncomfortable 'forcing' someone out of their house, even though your FH offered. (Which was VERY NICE OF HIM!!!!!!!!!)

It's an adjustment period - you are living someplace else with your Fh of course your time will be directed someplace else. I am sure they just miss you.

I don't see any reason why they should have given you attitude like that over your sleepover! That wasn't right of them, IMO. It definitely sounds like they are jealous, but maybe you should remind them that they are not losing their friend, just because you don't see them everyday anymore doesn't mean you love them any less. One of my girlfriends broke down in TEARS the day I moved in with FH because she knew I wouldn't be running around w/ her the way we used to, but she got over it! Go out and have lots of fun!!

My old roommate never was obnoxious...but she definitely noticed the changed in me (actually before I moved out)

but give it time...be understanding...things work out...now she has moved in with her bf and she totally understands...

I think it's ridiculous that you and your FH are tip-toeing around these girls.

It's clear to me that you are being a good friend. You still make plans with them, still spend time with them, and still try to keep the friendship going. What are they complaining about?

How many women get involved in a relationship and dump their friends totally? Too many. You obviously are NOT doing that, so I can't see why these friends would give you a hard time.

Sounds to me like they are JEALOUS and IMMATURE.

True friends do NOT behave that way. Stop dancing around them and keep being the good friend that you are. If that's not good enough for them, you're better off without them, and their childish BS.

I agree it's an adjustment period, but as I said, you seem to be doing all the right things. If they can't see past their own jealousy and adjust to the new 'order' of things, then too bad.

Sorry if this post sounds a little harsh, but girls like this really pi$$ me off!! Grrrrrr..

Karen