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It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

Original post by divabride

Thread views: 2,376

I was printing a sample program at my parents house yesterday and my mom asked me what i was doing. I made the MISTAKE of telling her and she went ballistic. She said she's never heard of programs for the wedding and that I've turned this wedding into a circus. She wants a traditional wedding and Im making a spectacle of it.
OK cowgirl........cool your horses. First and foremost weddings here in america are different from weddings in Guatemala. Second of all, I AM having a traditional wedding with traditional customs. And third of all this is my feckin wedding, not yours!!!
Whatever, I said nothing to her. Later on, when I finally got home, my sister (MOH) called laughing hysterically saying mom done lost her marbles. Although she made me feel a lot better, she also warned me not to share so much with my mom. She explained to mom that programs are normal. But I told her it was a darn shame that I cant share all the excitement of wedding planning with my own mom like everyone else does.
At least I have the understanding that my mother is pycho and its not me.
Vent over!!

UPDATE ON BOTTOM

CubanBride Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

Diva, sorry to hear about your problems with your mom. I am so there with you on this subject. In the end, my mother want invited, nor did she come to the wedding, and I am so glad it turned out that way.

I don't know your history with your mom, but she has been this way your entire life, she won't change. It took me a long time to realize that my mother didn't love me, at least not the way I needed. I have accepted and am at peace with it now.

You have to becomae at peace with how your mother is or it will destroy you. It nearly destroyed me.

If you want talk, FM me.

Best Wishes.

Dama88 Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

First

and more

I can't say I can relate or understand. This is a very tough time for you and I am sorry for that. I truly am. My one bit of input - some can't give what they never had or learned to have. I find in Spanish families that it is either all loving, hugs and kisses, or cold and distant. Your mother can't relate because she never learned how and she is not trying to learn. You can't get water out of a dry well. Love and respect her for who she is but that does not mean for you to take away from the person you are. Your wedding, your way.

Oh, and one more thing

italia6973 Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

SFP0214 Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

OMG Jen..
Your wedding is not a spectacle. It is beautiful! I feel so bad that your mom said that. I am always here if you need to chat. i am sorry you are sad

romameansamor Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

I am so sorry this is happening w/ your mom! I can completely relate to you also though...

I finally turned to my mom (who I have never been able to confront b/c it turns into the BIGGEST guilt trip ever!!!) - I said to her w/ a serious face 'Mom, what are you trying to do? What do you want to accomplish from all of this?' And I waited for my answer (which of course she didn't really have one). I then said, then I will absolutely not discuss any of this with you if that is what you would like.

I left it at that. I didn't talk to her for a few days and then she e-mailed me like nothing happened and it has been much better since then.

Good luck and don't feel alone!!!!

Reesa Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

ambersmom Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

Jenn, please don't feel bad. It's YOUR day and everything will be beautiful. Peronally I think Mom sounds jealous and full of sheet because how could people be talking about an event that hasn't even occurred? I know of alot of mother's that try to tear down and control their daughters. You are beautiful and wonderful and your day will be perfect!!

stacy&joe Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

I was so sorry to read your post. I really think that as much as sometimes we brides may not realize (because we are rightfully caught up in coming to terms with our impending marriage and the wedding) our parents have conflicting emotions and issues about their kids' weddings, and sometimes, it's really hard for moms and dads to let you go and realize you're an adult who will be making all her own decisions now, in consult with her DH, and not depending on mom like she used to. (My mom was wonderful and supportive, my dad - like your mom). I think it has a lot to do with some parents not really contributing to their kids' life, and then putting a real stranglehold on their child as they exert their ability to control in the home stretch. That said, my dad was a joy on my wedding day (for ONCE in my whole life - he actually let the day be about me, and not him). I hope your mom will come around, too, when she sees the joy in your eyes on the big day. Until then, hang in there.

aidamarie Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

Im so sorry that you have to deal with this, Your wedding will be beautiful. Its your day, dont let anyone try to ruin that for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

janelovesharry Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

Posted by LovelyL

I can't think of any other insightful words that haven't been said already. Just wanted to offer extra hugs.
:hug

I agree, everyone has said such supportive things and seems so great. It is just so nice to see people being so open and supportive. So, i will give you what I can a BIG

janelovesharry Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

And to Bunnymonkey...it seems like you need some of these too

Kiddo115 Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

Posted by Bumsie

Posted by gtsgirl

AHAHAHAHHA...ok cowgirl..cool your horses...ahahahah hysterical

I thought that was hilarious too..

Oh my god.. I have to remember that one! I could use it on MY mother.. or as I call her 'momzilla'... What I find more frustrating is that they don't even understand why we get frustrated with them.... Somehow, it's always MY fault!

GoingNutty Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

Dooodles Thread views: 2,376

Re: It got even worse! Mom arguement updated

Jenn -
I just read your update. I am so sorry you are dealing with additional stress from your Mom. I won't try to pretend that I know how you feel because I don't. I applaud you for speaking your mind to her and letting her know your thoughts and feelings. I also think it is beautiful that you are incorporating many customs to your ceremony and you should be proud of what you are creating!

Edited to add: