It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

BellaEyes Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:32 PM

It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

None not one of them.. including my matron of honor has offered a hand in anything. Nice isn't it? I was not expecting it but still a simple.. 'can I help you with anything would be a nice gesture'

Sorry.. just a vent post...

Keywi231 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:35 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

i am going through the same crap, all i wanted for them to do is offer and all i get is attitudes if i mention the wedding... i feel your pain

BellaEyes Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:37 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

At this point I feel like what was the POINT. I mean there are a couple that are only in their teens so I am not annoyed with them it's the others.. and they are my own family.. NICE right?

Chrissywish Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:38 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

That is definitely frustrating. have you said anything???

BellaEyes Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:42 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

No , I have not said anything b/c I don't want to complain to them. I just feel like they are all old enough to know the right thing to do.

Keywi231 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:42 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

i know the fam issues thats all i have and i have alot of teens and young teens also its the older ones you wanted a lil more from, do what i did just for get about them do it all yourself or with FH, mom friends and when they realize you did everything already they will feel like jerks, thats what i did and they are starting to come around but its pointless cuase i did everything already its def harder with fam to deal with i wish i did things diff....

eden Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:44 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

Sorry to hear that guys! I can imagine what it feels like.

Dont hold it against them, some of the bridesmaid who have never been bridesmaid or are young don't know what's expected of them.

When I was bridesmaid for my friend's wedding years ago I didn't recall asking if she wanted help, although I did help plan her wedding shower and also helped her anytime she called on me...

Now that it's my turn to have the wedding, I too have had to do things myself, but mostly by choice. :)

BellaEyes Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:44 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

The ONLY person was my FH's step mother.. she is nice enough to help out. She offered. I did not even have to ask.

Mooshyboo Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:46 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

awww I am sorry to hear you are going through that.....

cherilicious16 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:49 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

One of my friends said something interesting to me after her wedding last year. At the time I though it was kinda jaded, but now that I am engaged I can see where she is coming from...

She said that no one REALLY cares about the wedding except for the mothers of the bride and groom. Basically, she said that people do get excited for you, but most of them do not have anything invested in your relationship with your FH so there is no way it could be really important to them.

Any thoughts?

Keywi231 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:50 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

it will all work out

eden Posted: Jul 31, 2006 09:08 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

Posted by cherilicious16

One of my friends said something interesting to me after her wedding last year. At the time I though it was kinda jaded, but now that I am engaged I can see where she is coming from...

She said that no one REALLY cares about the wedding except for the mothers of the bride and groom. Basically, she said that people do get excited for you, but most of them do not have anything invested in your relationship with your FH so there is no way it could be really important to them.

Any thoughts?

You're right about that. I think it's a general truth that the only people who care are you, your FH and both sets of parents. I don't think most guests are interested in the wedding itself but they are going through the motion 'cus they either care about you or they want to compare ....

:(

citycrab705 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 09:30 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

i get offers of help and then they back out at the last minute, its true people are happy for you but not so much that they want to do things for you

Chrissywish Posted: Jul 31, 2006 09:52 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

I would suggest asking them to help with specific things. Sometimes people just don't think to offer, but don't mind if you ask for the help.

As for what the bride said about the mother of the bride and grooms parents really being the only two....

I sorta agree. I think they will be the most vested. But i know for a few of my friends we have all been over the top involved in helping each other. However, when it comes to the wedding, and bridesmaids and what not, yes their lives do take precedent over someones wedding.

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 10:39 PM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

I've been there too

MillerFord742008 Posted: Aug 01, 2006 02:23 AM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

thats ppl for ya!

OctoberPrincess2006 Posted: Aug 01, 2006 06:32 AM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

hmmm, I agree with someone who posted earlier... for me I only have a few BMs and GMs that were actually ever in a bridal party so I think that most of them have no clue what to do, I was actually never in a wedding, so this is all new to me also. The only thing with me is that I do A LOT of research on everthing, so i would probaly get clues on how to help out ( but that's me). I have 4 BMS here in NY (one is very sick though
she has cancer) and my two cousins from florida, so it's difficult. But we are managing. One thing that my Bridal Party does do though is listen to me ramble! So that is a help, for me.
I know how you feel, but things will work out for you and your FH, no matter what.

debbiedee77 Posted: Aug 01, 2006 08:04 AM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

Why don't you ask them for their help with something instead of expecting them to offer? Everyone is busy. Maybe they think you have everything under control if you're not asking for them to do anything. It's true, they have lives of their own. My BM's really didn't do anything to help except listen to me when I needed someone to talk to. Other than that, my mom and I did mostly everything which was fine. I really just wanted my bridesmaids to be there for me on the day of the wedding and they were amazing from the moment we woke up until the day was over.

gina674 Posted: Aug 01, 2006 09:13 AM

Re: It's lovely when none of your bridesmaids want to offer a hand in anything

I'm going through the same thing... Only my MOH and 1 of my BMs have been in touch with me weekly to see if I'm ok, or if I need help or anything. My other BM is as useless as .................................. (I can think of alot to fill in here!!!!! I just wish if they didn't feel like being part of this, DON'T say YES!