Ok...so my roommate in college has been dating her bf for a little over 5 years now. I love him and he's PERFECT for her. They deserve each other and I am sooooooooooooo happy that they are together. She was one of my best friends in college and was probably the one person who was most like me and who I could have the best conversations with..........
So..........they got engaged today...like I said, I am SO happy for her. On the other hand...they're getting married a few months before FH and I are. I am really happy, but I thought I'd be the first to get married out of our friends from college. I'm slightly jealous of their engagement because of that.
When I rationalize it in my head I come up with this: They are meant for each other. They have been together for so long. I cannot be happier for a couple right now. They are the perfect couple. They are both amazing people.
So, why am I so torn with my emotions? I think this is amazing and I now have someone to plan with...but I wanted to be the first...Is this just an initial feeling? Will it go away? Why do I care? It's not a race...I'm getting married a few months later........ugh!!!!
kater08
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
A lot of people feel this way...but when you have a long engagement (like a lot of us 2010-ers), chances are someone is going to get engaged after us and married before us!!
Just be happy for them and use it as an opportunity to see what works/doesn't work at their wedding and maybe use it as an opportunity to save some money (on things you thought weren't necessary) or add some touches that you thought maybe they were missing!!
angelatp
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
I know what you mean. But, I would be happy for them, they sound like they deserve it.
GR2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
I understand what you're saying. I always thought that when it came to close friends and family when someone got engaged and picked their date you're not supposed to pick an earlier date than them if you get engaged after them. One of my best friends, Dom and his FW got engaged in October and picked a date of 6/20/10. FH and I got engaged in April and although we could have planned our wedding for October of this year I opted to wait until the following Fallso she didn't think I was trying to steal her thunder, especially since I am a BM in her wedding and he is a Brides-man in mine. Why step on toes?
it's normal to feel a little jealous just remember everone's situation is different and you are getting married at the perfect time for you and they are getting married when its right for them, it doesn't matter who gets married first...
JAAMS
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
Don't sweat it! It isn't a big deal, and it won't take away from your day at all.
One of my MOH & her FH got engaged exactly a week after FH & I, and are getting married about 2 months before us. And honestly, it doesn't bother me at all. I love them, I'm so happy for them, and I know that both of our weddings will be beautiful.
pasta3825
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
I know I was the same way!
We got engaged in August last year (2008) and choose 2010 to get married. Our friends got engaged in September (2008) and choose to get married in 2009...
I had a difficult time with it too... especially since we have been dating 2 years longer than them...
but that's okay... i tell her I am going to learn from her mistakes...
also... they are only going on a small honeymoon to a cabin in upstate new york because they can't afford to go anywhere and we are going to HAWAII... i always tease her saying she should have had a longer engagement to have everything they would have wanted... what's the rush if you are going to be together forever... :)
paprika023
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
i know what you mean too.. my friend is getting married this fall, even though she just got engaged in april!!
At first it really bugged me that she was rushing, but now after taking a few weeks it's out of my system. Our weddings are going to be totally different, and both will be great!
I hated feeling so jealous over something that i should be ecstatic about! If you are in her wedding, i think your feelings will die down once you start helping her with stuff.
Your feelings are totally normal!
MarjorieFrank
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
What you feel is normal! I would be a little upset/jealous as well, especially since your wedding will be fresh off the heels of hers. Personally, I think she could have made it a little further away from yours, that is what I would have done. The positive is that you have someone to discuss weddings with and to compare and contrast styles, vendors, etc.
deanna225
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
i know how u r feeling. fh and i have been through the same thing. but the only thing i think about when fh friends get married before us is we took our time planning the wedding.
MrsHandsome2Be
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
both of my best friends got engaged within months of me & fh.. i was super excited for them.. neither of them are getting married before me, so i don't know how that would make me feel... hmmmmmm
just look at it this way.. you have someone else to plan with.. talk to.. compare notes with since you will both be going through the same thing & visit vendors with
try not to let it get you down... it's not like she will be using the exact same rh hall as you and beating you to it (bride wars part 2!!)
jlt2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: jealous...but really excited
i know how you feel. one of my best friends is getting married a month before me and I am her MOH. it bothered me a lot for a while because our weddings were so close but in the end I'm still happy for them.
