Jealousy- Between your Parents and His

I feel like my parents are completely jealous every time I mention something great about my FIL'S. My parents find something to pick on about his parents every chance they get lest I should actually like my FIL's. My parents went through a messy, bitter divorce and I casually mentioned to my mother the other day- My fil's have a good marriage- and my mother was like, 'they don't. He probably cheats on her.' If I say, FMIL is getting us our calligrapher, she will snap back 'Why don't you get FMIL to pay for some of the wedding?'... My father refuses to meet his parents. It looks like the first time that will happen will be the wedding itself, as scary as that is. I think their feelings are hurt by me. Newleyweds- will I always have to do this dance for my parents?

Just curious if anyone else is going through this- How does your relationship with FIL'S affect your relationship with my our parents? How do your FIL's get along with your parents? Is there any jealousy or nervousness?

our parents get along well, but his mom is always keeping track of how much time we spend where. Like its a competition if we spend an hour more at my parents. We get around it alot by bringing them together often. And they've started developing a relationship of their own.

my MIL is a lot worse with his sister's in-laws (who she doesn't like). She didn't even go to her daughters post wedding brunch because she felt snubbed that it was at the in-laws house (she came to ours at my parents).

Its a tough situation you're in. It does sound like your parents are threatened and jealous. I think it will get better with time, but until then, good luck

oh boy Marisa...seder at your mom's tonight with everyone?

I'll be home all night....call me.

My mom is jealous of my FMIL - originally, my FMIL offered to make my gown for me b/c I couldn't afford the one I liked, and she was a seamstress - it was all set to happen and then my mom said she wanted me to buy my gown b/c she was upset that she wouldn't be able to go to fittings with me. HELLO - I see my mother once a month, maybe and now she's all buddy buddy.

I think my FFIL was afraid that after we got married, FH wouldn't go by the house anymore (which is just stupid b/c we are ALWAYS there) so he was giving FH the cold shoulder for 2 months!!!

Parents are all nuts!

Our parents get along great and so we are very fortunate. It obviously upsets your mom when you talk about your mil...so maybe you can start thanking your mom for all she has done for you instead.

my dad likes that i like them. my mother sometimes starts getting jealous, so i dont say too many nice things at once! I try and limit it, then she agrees with me when i say something nice.
I think parents get worried that you might like the inlaws more, and thus spend more holidays with them then with your own family.

i'm going thru the same thing - monetarily - every time i bring something up it's like..... well then, why don't they help you more with the wedding?!!

Lucky for me, my FIL's live in Illinois, but that doesn't stop my mom, LOL! My MIL bought me toating flutes for our wedding for Christmas, which was a HUGE gesture on her part, because she knows I have always felt like I wasn't really welcome in their family(very long story there), & everytime my Mom sees toasting flutes she makes a huge comment about how she wanted to by them for me & she would have got ones that suited me better! Meanwhile, nothing else in our wedding has been decieded without my mother's consent! I guess it could be worse, my FIL's could live in NY,LOL.

That seems like a really tough situation. I had the same thing with my husbands parents. My parents are divorced too and My dad especially was afraid of losing me cause we already had an aweful relationship. He hated Mike and I think the one thing is that with kids and stiff you will eventually get farther away from your family and if you want to keep that relationship with your family you have to work twice as hard-Its probably out of love and lack of attention. Thats my guess. But good luck.