Hey girls .. so last night FH and I went to meet with our potential Rabbi .. FH is sephardic and I'm eshkanazi. Well the Rabbi we met with is super traditional (sephardic as well) ... he did FH's Bar Mitzvah so FH wanted him to do our wedding. well we are reform ... and the rabbi wants us to do everything very traditionally. He told me that I would not be able to sign the Kettubah, which I always thought I would too, and only FH signs it, also he says I have to cover up with a shawl/jacket or something for the ceremony .. I LOVE MY DRESS .. I always thought the veil was enough. Anyone had to deal with something like this? It's all new to me. Help!
Thanks!!!
AwaitingAugust
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Re: Jewish Brides
that's what the orthodox Rabbi's require, unfortunately.
well actually, i thought the bride signs the ketubah too ... it is a contract after all so why does only one person (the groom) need to sign.
for your ceremony, you'd need to cover up so that nobody can see your shoulders. it's not that big a deal, IMO - people will see the dress in all its glory at the reception. Plus, if you just get a small shawl of sorts, it wouldn't be too overwhelming.
but if you really hate what the Rabbi is saying (it kinda sounds like you do), then i think you should find a reform rabbi.
good luck!
rengor
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Re: Jewish Brides
Posted by AwaitingAugust
that's what the orthodox Rabbi's require, unfortunately.
well actually, i thought the bride signs the ketubah too ... it is a contract after all so why does only one person (the groom) need to sign.
for your ceremony, you'd need to cover up so that nobody can see your shoulders. it's not that big a deal, IMO - people will see the dress in all its glory at the reception. Plus, if you just get a small shawl of sorts, it wouldn't be too overwhelming.
but if you really hate what the Rabbi is saying (it kinda sounds like you do), then i think you should find a reform rabbi.
good luck!
I would love to find a reform rabbi ... I just don't know where to look. I'm not from NY and FH only knows a number of them, all who are orthodox. Any suggestions?
I don't even mind covering my shoulders, I just feel like we should both be able to sign the ketubah and both put rings on each other.
Thanks!!!!
allornil
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Re: Jewish Brides
wait..there's no point in having one if you don't sign the thing.The whole point of the ketubah is that it's a contract. Traditionally it was to protect the bride I believe. anyway...I'd find another rabbi. I mean, who doesn't allow the bride to sign? Maybe sephardic beliefs are different than others? I mean I don't even think the ketubah is even mentioned in the Torah.
rengor
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Re: Jewish Brides
Posted by allornil
wait..there's no point in having one if you don't sign the thing.The whole point of the ketubah is that it's a contract. Traditionally it was to protect the bride I believe. anyway...I'd find another rabbi. I mean, who doesn't allow the bride to sign? Maybe sephardic beliefs are different than others? I mean I don't even think the ketubah is even mentioned in the Torah.
ITA ... I was shocked! I mean it's a contract between the two of us. The rabbi said .. well 'it's him being obligated to be a good husband to you' .. he has to follow what the ketubah says, not you.
Can anyone recommend their rabbi please? Thanks!!
olganfreddy
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Re: Jewish Brides
Rabbi HOWARD NACHT!! He's so amazing and doesnt require any of that stuff/will do your ceremony according to your preference.
pjc92980
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Re: Jewish Brides
hmm i thought the bride always signs the katubbah...thats odd. But if you dont want to follow all of those 'traditions' try a reform rabbi. I am using Rabbi Jonathan Hecht from Temple Chaverim 516-367-6100. met with him once so far and he seems great
good luck
allornil
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Re: Jewish Brides
also, you could always contact your local chabad and ask them if anyone can do your wedding.
Ncarlo
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Re: Jewish Brides
could you use a different rabbi? We are using Rabbi Block- I'm catholic and my fh is Jewish and the Rabbi is very reformed and seriously the sweetest cutest man! I'm even signing a ketubah! FM me if you need more info!
GracieJMay2010
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Re: Jewish Brides
Posted by rengor
Posted by allornil
wait..there's no point in having one if you don't sign the thing.The whole point of the ketubah is that it's a contract. Traditionally it was to protect the bride I believe. anyway...I'd find another rabbi. I mean, who doesn't allow the bride to sign? Maybe sephardic beliefs are different than others? I mean I don't even think the ketubah is even mentioned in the Torah.
ITA ... I was shocked! I mean it's a contract between the two of us. The rabbi said .. well 'it's him being obligated to be a good husband to you' .. he has to follow what the ketubah says, not you.
Can anyone recommend their rabbi please? Thanks!!
TECNICALLY its not! between the 2 of you. Its actually a contract TO the bride from the groom. It is SUPPOSED to spell out the husband duties to the wofe and how he will take care of her and stuff.
