Are any of you doing the walk around the FH 7 times? All the weddings I've been to, did it, but the more I think about it, the more I don't want to do it. I just don't like what it stands for. Like FH is the center of my universe. I love him and all.. but
What are you doin?
FTRBRIDE
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
We're not doing it, but we're having an interfaith wedding, so I don't know if that helps you much. However- speak to your FH and your officiant, if everybody is okay with not doing it, then don't!
May05Bride
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
Posted by FTRBRIDE
We're not doing it, but we're having an interfaith wedding, so I don't know if that helps you much. However- speak to your FH and your officiant, if everybody is okay with not doing it, then don't!
Thats the funny thing. FH wants me to do it. I don't understand why. He is not big on traditions.. but for some reason this is important. WHY!?!!?!?! Officiant said it doesn't matter. Its upto us.
May05Bride
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
?
MandM07-03-05
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yes, i'm planning on doing it. although i may get dizzy! there are many interpretations of this ritual. another one is that u are creating a protective wall around your fh. u should google it and then decide if it's for u or not.
Jax430
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I did it, but only made the decision after a discussion with my rabbi about the significance. There are many interpretations. He explained that b/c women are considered to be on a higher spiritual plane than men (which is why men wear yarmulkes; to raise themselves higher to G-d), by circling the man, we are forming the spiritual boundaries of the relationship, and protecting him from evil. I think it's a beautiful part of the ceremony. Neither my mom nor older sister had done it during their weddings, so I faced some resistance to doing it, but I'm glad I did.
It inadvertantly ended up being comic relief during the ceremony, b/c I was nervous about losing track, so I was holding fingers out by my side as I circled, and everyone started laughing. When I thought I was done, I looked at my sister, who held up 6 fingers, and one of my BMs (who had circled during her wedding 3 weeks prior), who mouthed 'seven'. I decided to go with the one who had actually circled!
Goldi1021
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
I am not religious, but there are a few religious traditions that I would like to have in my ceremony. I plan on walking around FH 7 times but not because he is the center of my universe. I like the interpretation of the 7 days of creation translating into the new world that the bride and groom enter together.
FH and I made it a point to seek out Jewish partners as we reacquainted on JDate (16 years prior, having met at a fraternity party in college). I feel that we should try to hold to as many customs and traditions that we feel comfortable with. This particular tradition has nothing to do with subservience to me. It is simply pretty to watch.
lrs2005
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
I completely understand the not wanting to do the circling thing either. The first time I heard about it was when DF mentioned it after we got engaged. I read in the A. Diamont, The New Jewish Wedding book that you could do the circling 3 times or 7 times. Perhaps that is an option?
She had a nice explanation for it. It was something like this was uniting yourselves to one another. I have always thought that when it comes down to it DF and I are a team. This is just one way to show that we are a team together. So I am going to do it b/c I know it will make him happy.
Lisa
Goldi1021
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
Yes 3 times is acceptable nowadays. Come to think about it, I do get motion sickness. It could be dangerous!
Jax430
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
Posted by Goldi1021
Yes 3 times is acceptable nowadays. Come to think about it, I do get motion sickness. It could be dangerous!
I asked my Rabbi if there was a significance to circling 3 times. He said 'it's less than 7!'
FTS
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
Another option my Rabbi explained to us was for the bride to circle the groom three times, then the groom circles the bride three times and then both would walk the seventh circle together (around a symbolic space). That is a more egalitarian version of this tradition. Maybe you want to consider that?
Ultimately, we chose to have me walk the 7 circles around FI. The whole 'center of the universe thing' doesn't do it for me either , but we had heard of another explanation for it which we really liked and that is why we are chosing to do it this way. Here is how we are describing it in our program:
The circling tradition marks off the space between the bride and groom as sacred and intimate. The number seven parallels the seven days of creation, as J and R are about to create a new family circle and their own 'new world' together.
2bewedin04
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We elected not to do this, because I am a klutz and both of us know it ... we did not want to see the Chuppah coming down around us if I tripped. However, I have been to a wedding that did the bride and groom each circling each other three times, and it is very warm to watch that.
May05Bride
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My canter didn't recommend the 3 times each. He said its too confusing, and sometimes tends to cause problems..
Oh.. what to do, what to do! I like the 'building a family explanation as well.. I wonder which one is the 'true' reason.
psf80
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
We're going to do the circling, it's such an old custom and we feel like it's something we would like to incorporate into our ceremony. Like a lot of Jewish traditions, the symbolism of them can be interpreted in a variety of ways. For example, there are a variety of explanations regarding the breaking of the glass. Find an interpretation of the custom that sits well with you. The number seven is generally considered a number of good fortune in Judaism, and so we're going to stick with seven, instead of the three each. Do some research online, I'm sure you can find an interpretation of circling that doesn't seem so antiquated and isn't about subservience.
randella
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I would love to do it cause I love all those old customs- but, logistically, I do not think it is possible- and I may be so nervous and my train is long.. so we decided to forgo this-- don't need to be falling on my face in front of everyone!
Goldi1021
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
Posted by psf80
The number seven is generally considered a number of good fortune in Judaism, and so we're going to stick with seven, instead of the three each.
I think we should all feel lucky that the traditional # for good luck, 18 (chai) isn't used for the number of times to walk around each other. We'd all need Dramamine to make it through the ceremony! I knowI would. Can I get a big OY VEY?!?!
Jax430
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Re: Jewish Brides - Chuppah
Posted by Goldi1021
Posted by psf80
The number seven is generally considered a number of good fortune in Judaism, and so we're going to stick with seven, instead of the three each.
I think we should all feel lucky that the traditional # for good luck, 18 (chai) isn't used for the number of times to walk around each other. We'd all need Dramamine to make it through the ceremony! I knowI would. Can I get a big OY VEY?!?!
