Joke for monday

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in- law in the head, killing her instantly.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper some- thing to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, no and mumble a reply.
Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, 'The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.''

anniversary
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, 'I bet you don't know what day this is.'
'Of course I do,' he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office.
At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped , two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home . 'First the flowers then the chocolates, and then the dress!' she exclaimed. 'I've never had a more wonderful 'Arbor Day' in all my life!'

custody one:
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children. The judge asked for his side of the story too. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied, 'Judge, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?'

I like the Arbor Day one!!!!!!! LOL

Hee heee i didn't get the arbor day at first!