A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains of Scotland. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds. The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.
'Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love'. The old man replied, 'I thought so ... would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window ... they're choking my ducks!'
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes I am, I married the wrong man.'
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What did the banana say to the dildo? What the hell are you shaking for shes going to eat me?
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VCanizalez
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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5.00 am.' The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... 'It is 5.00am; wake up.'
mybabylovesmoi
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HAHAHA I love the banana one the best!
MrsVtoBe
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Good jokes!!
ness83
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-
VCanizalez
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A couple was getting married, and it was only three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. 'Mom,' she says, 'I just found out that my fiance's mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding.' The bride's mother thinks for a minute. 'Don't worry,' she tells her daughter. 'I'll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony.' 'But mother,' says the bride, 'that dress cost a fortune. What will you do with it? It's such a waste not to use it.' 'Who said I won't use it?' her mother asked. 'I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner.'
mybabylovesmoi
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Posted by VCanizalez
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5.00 am.' The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... 'It is 5.00am; wake up.'
I would definitely do this lol
VCanizalez
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Posted by ness83
I love that you are doing JOTD
=) Gracias..... I like laughin wiht all of u chicas =)
VCanizalez
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Posted by mybabylovesmoi
Posted by VCanizalez
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5.00 am.' The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... 'It is 5.00am; wake up.'
I would definitely do this lol
I am not sure if i have the heart to do it!! lol
BellaBride27
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very funny! love the banana one
VCanizalez
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Posted by mybabylovesmoi
HAHAHA I love the banana one the best!
LOL...
Me too
VCanizalez
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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: 'Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out.' He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: 'Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?' The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, 'Yes,' then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: 'I thought we had a deal.' The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: 'She made me a better offer.'
The Cassie
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Posted by VCanizalez
Posted by mybabylovesmoi
Posted by VCanizalez
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5.00 am.' The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... 'It is 5.00am; wake up.'
I would definitely do this lol
I am not sure if i have the heart to do it!! lol
omg i would totally do that!! and then prob feel bad about it lol
VCanizalez
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Posted by The Cassie
Posted by VCanizalez
Posted by mybabylovesmoi
Posted by VCanizalez
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5.00 am.' The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... 'It is 5.00am; wake up.'
I would definitely do this lol
I am not sure if i have the heart to do it!! lol
omg i would totally do that!! and then prob feel bad about it lol
LOL that is why I dont have the heart to do it... I will just say loud 'WAKE UP ITS TIME, GET UP' and will sort of Move his arm... and No more talking!!!
