JOTD =)
Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Office Desk...
'They told me at the blood bank this might happen.'
'This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me.'
'Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!'
'I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.'
'I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.'
'I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress.'
'Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.'
'The coffee machine is broken...'
'Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot...'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Honey,' said this husband to his wife, 'I invited a friend home for supper.'
'What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!' 'I know all that.' 'Then why did you invite a friend for supper?' 'Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Curse
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells 'PIG!!!'
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, '*****!!!'
They each continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is almost about to die
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, 'I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them.'
His wife looked at him calmly and said, 'Why do you think I gave you the poison?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kids at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, 'I was just trying to be a good ring bear.'
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
Share Ur JOTD! =)
'They told me at the blood bank this might happen.'
'This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me.'
'Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!'
'I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.'
'I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.'
'I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress.'
'Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.'
'The coffee machine is broken...'
'Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot...'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Honey,' said this husband to his wife, 'I invited a friend home for supper.'
'What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!' 'I know all that.' 'Then why did you invite a friend for supper?' 'Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Curse
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells 'PIG!!!'
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, '*****!!!'
They each continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is almost about to die
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, 'I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them.'
His wife looked at him calmly and said, 'Why do you think I gave you the poison?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kids at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, 'I was just trying to be a good ring bear.'
Share Ur JOTD! =)
