Just a little funny! (Don't read if you or anyone you love is a lawyer)
This is why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small Texas town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - a
grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?
She responded, 'Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney almost died! At this point, the judge brought the
court room to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a
very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you bastards asks her if she
knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt.'
*******************************************PRICELESS!!!
aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small Texas town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - a
grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?
She responded, 'Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney almost died! At this point, the judge brought the
court room to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a
very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you bastards asks her if she
knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt.'
*******************************************PRICELESS!!!
