Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

12-3Princess Posted: Jan 18, 2005 09:57 AM

Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

This did not happen to me but to someone I know.

My friend is getting married two months after her cousin. She set her wedding date first, but then her cousin set her wedding date two months prior to her. They both are having the same 2 flower girls in the wedding.

The flower girls' mom asked if it would be OK if they were the same dress in both weddings so she could save money. Is that inappropriate? I didn't think so but I don't know. I guess it is a valid concern that the children could ruin the dress and then have nothing to wear for the 2nd wedding?

Just curious as to your thoughts. My advice was to tell my friend to offer to pay for all or part of the dresses.

Thumballina Posted: Jan 18, 2005 10:00 AM

Re: Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

I don't think I would mind but I would be worried about the dress getting ruined during the first wedding...I'd pay for the dress so that they don't have to buy another one and your friend gets to have her in a perfect dress...

JBKempf Posted: Jan 18, 2005 10:11 AM

Re: Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

I don't think its rude either, but hopefully the mom brings the dress to get dry cleaned ASAP after the first wedding to prevent any stains settling.

LuckyMe Posted: Jan 18, 2005 10:14 AM

Re: Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

I think at first I'd be okay with it but then if my flower girl had stains or rips in her dress for my wedding I might become upset and wish I didn't. I think I might offer to pay for 1/2 or all of the dress and I think I would talk to my cousin about doing the same. I don't think I would be upset with the flower girls mom though those dresses are expensive too.

jesslangen Posted: Jan 18, 2005 10:15 AM

Re: Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

As long as she is happy with the dress then I don't see a problem. But if they get a flower girl dress that is like pink and her BM dresses are yellow or something that would clash then I would get pissed!

We are in a simialr situation however I asked the children first, therefore, selfish me makes myself take priority

SomethingBlu Posted: Jan 18, 2005 10:18 AM

Re: Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

Posted by JBKempf

I don't think its rude either, but hopefully the mom brings the dress to get dry cleaned ASAP after the first wedding to prevent any stains settling.

I agree with this...and also agree that as long as the dress matches the general scheme it should be OK. Kids are cute regardless!

FTRBRIDE Posted: Jan 18, 2005 10:19 AM

Re: Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

As long as it is white, or some color that matches both of the wedding parties, I guess it would be okay- but I think I would make some sort of stipulation, like if the girls ruin them at the first wedding, then they'll have to get different dresses? I dunno

12-3Princess Posted: Jan 18, 2005 10:19 AM

Re: Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

Thanks!

oh, and the thing is the first bride's dress is white and the second bride's dress is ivory - LOL so the brides of course want different shades of white/ivory on the flower girls.

FTRBRIDE Posted: Jan 18, 2005 10:22 AM

Re: Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

Posted by 12-3Princess

Thanks!

oh, and the thing is the first bride's dress is white and the second bride's dress is ivory - LOL so the brides of course want different shades of white/ivory on the flower girls.

suven Posted: Jan 18, 2005 10:22 AM

Re: Just curious if you think this is rude . . .

Well, I do kind of think it's rude for the mom to ask TWO different brides if her daughter can wear the same dress for both weddings. What if her daughter were a bridesmaid? Would she ask both brides to use the same BM gown?

I think that perhaps each bride should offer to pay for 1/2 of the flower girl dress for her own wedding.